My Awesomely Random Life (and Everything in Between)

Posts tagged ‘random’

When You Absolutely, Must, Have to Wear Pants…

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Leggings: the only bottoms that are better than no bottoms.  There is no justification whatsoever for choosing jeans over leggings.  None. Nadda. Zilch. Leggings are the real MVP.  Not only do they stretch to accomodate our food babies, but they’re also just as dark as our souls. Except for my bright pink ones with all the sparkles. And those little silver diddies. Oh! And I can’t forget that pair with the cute little pandas all over them. Pandas, guys. PANDAS! Though we all have our valid reasons for why we choose to wear leggings on a daily basis (IT’S LIKE YOU’RE NOT EVEN WEARING PANTS!), there will always be haters out there.

Here are 15 of the things that I, as a loud and proud legging enthusiast, am sick and tired of hearing:

 

Why do you wear leggings every day?

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I think the real question here is why don’t YOU wear leggings everyday?

Have you ever heard of jeans?

 

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Don’t even speak of such terrible things.  Do you really think I have time to wiggle into those while running atleast 20 40 minutes late every day?

Do you ever wash those?

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This question… I can’t even. Not only do I wash my leggings, but I also own about 100 pairs of them. So NO, I do not wear the same pair every day––except for maybe today because I was running 20 40 minutes late.

Wow, you must be really lazy today!

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Not lazy, just selectively active. But if I did choose to step away from the ‘Flix and actually do something, you know what the best thing to wear would be?  Thhhhhaaattttt’s right. In yo’ face!

Leggings aren’t pants

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What kind of sick joke is that? Also, are you a human?

Are you on your way to the gym or something?

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“I’ll be up here in the gym, just working on my fitness…whole pizza in my mouth.” Stretchy pants are your friend, my friend.

Leggings can’t be stylish

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*Pulls out every going out picture ever taken with friends* “Then explain to me how my whole squad looks bomb here.”

Why do you pull up your leggings so high?

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Birch please. The fit is on fleek.

*I still may or may not fully know what ‘fleek’ means, but they don’t know that I don’t know. 

Leggings aren’t very flattering on some people

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Well body-shaming isn’t very flattering on you.

Would you like some Starbucks and Uggs with those leggings? #Basic

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Wait, so you’re saying I can’t wear boots in the winter?  And I obvies can’t wear sandals either so WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?

Don’t you feel exposed in those?

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Yeah, because so much of my skin is showing… *rolls eyes*

It’s not legging season yet

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Honey, every season is legging season, you poor, confused soul.

Aren’t those a little thin to be wearing out in the cold?

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I think your attitude is the only cold thing here.

Your leggings look a little worn out, why don’t you throw them away?

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Why fix something that was never broken?

“WHERE ARE MY LEGGINGS?”

 

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This one comes from my own mouth… at that sh*tty moment when I realize I misplaced my cherished bottoms.

#LEGGINGSFOREVER!!!

Currently

Current Book(s): I’m usually always reading between 2-4 books at one time. I literally (pronounced li-trally) have books in every orifice of my apartment, car, work desk, purse. Have books, will travel, right? I’m currently knee-deep in two amazing books: The Husband’s Secret by Liane Moriarty and Little Earthquakes by Jennifer Weiner. Both have kept me up until the wee hours of the morning (and have been my go-to when work has been on the slow side–perks of being a librarian, yo!).

Current Music: Just. so. much. Although the two songs that have been on the repeat the most have been A Great Big World’s Hold Each Other and The Civil War’s Poison & Wine. #AllTheFeels

Current Guilty Pleasure: I don’t really believe in guilty pleasures. I mean, hypothetically speaking of course, why would or should one feel guilty for polishing off a tub of raw cookie dough? Not this girl.

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Current Nail Color: It’s kind of a blueish purple. Blurple? Plue?

Current Drink: WINE!!!! Guys, I am now a wine drinker. Moscato to be exact. Never in a million years would I have thought that I’d be saying that. I feel so…adult.

Current Food: Lots of it.

Current Favorite Show: I actually have been so busy lately that I haven’t watched a lot of TV/Netflix, but a few nights this week I was able to catch the Tonight Show with my BFF Jimmy Fallon. HIL-ARIOUS, my friends. I’m in tears every time I watch his show. This was a fave of mine from earlier this week.

Current Wish List: If anyone has any extra Packers/Broncos tickets (or would like to contribute to the ‘Get Wendi to the Packers/Broncos game’ fund), I would love you forever. Also, Jerry Seinfeld is coming to Denver in December and I am dying to go. DYING! Not literally (li-trally), but it would be so amazing to see him again live.  I also wouldn’t be mad if I got this.

Current Bain of My Existence: This morning I decided to go for a run before work. Just a quick 7 miles, Wendi said. It’s only sprinkling out, Wendi said. Oy.

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Current Celebrity Crush: JIMMMMAHHHH (sorry, sort of an inside joke there). Forever and always crushing hardcore on Jimmy Fallon. A sense of humor is the way to this gal’s heart. Well, that and cookies.

Current Blessing: I know I say it a lot, but I truly have THE best family and friends in the history of ever. To say that I’m blessed would be an understatement. The kindness, the support, the silliness and randomness and unconditional love that the most important people in my life bring (you know who you are)? It’s just so ridiculously ahhmazing.

Current Slang: I literally (li-trally) can’t even right now. Ughhh. I know. I KNOW! I’m that girl.

Current Outfit: Skinny jeans, boots and plaid baby! Fall is upon us. Ughhh. I know. I KNOW! I’m that girl.

Current Excitement: Besides the fact that I finally got that piece of Corn Pop unstuck from my teeth, THERE IS JUST SO MUCH!!  My baby sis just signed a lease for her new apartment (hey girl, heyyy), softball playoffs are in full swing (pun intended), Halloween is right around the corner, my momma is coming out to visit in a few weeks, AND there’s a full bag of Candy Corn on my desk that’s calling my name. Life is good, y’all. Life is very good. 🙂

QOTD: What’s currently going on in your neck of the woods?

The Struggles of Binge-Watching a Show For the First Time that Literally EVERYONE Has Already Seen

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So there’s this little show called Breaking Bad, some of you may have heard of it. It didn’t get much attention, didn’t win any of those fancy shmancy awards, and there are most definitely NOT any pop culture references to any of the characters.

I’m totally kidding of course. BB was probably one of this generation’s most iconic television shows. It ran for a solid 5 seasons on AMC, and tells the story of Walter White, a high school chemistry teacher who learns he has terminal and inoperable lung cancer. After hearing his diagnosis, he teams up with one of his former students, Jessie Pinkman to start securing his family financially for when the time comes that he’ll no longer be there for them. Walter and Jessie decide to do what anyone does when looking to raise a little money: open a very profitable and lucrative lemonade stand.

And by lemonade stand I mean they began to criminally produce and sell meth. Hard core.

So there’s that.

Despite it’s nitty-grittiness, raw vulnerability and somewhat dark subject matter, BB became one of America’s most watched and talked about shows. Actually, it was probably because of these reasons that it did so.

BB aired it’s last episode on September 29, 2013…

…annnnnnnddd I just started watching it a few weeks ago.

I know. I know. I’m a bit [fashionably] late to the BB bandwagon, but when it was on TV, I never really took an interest in the show. In all honesty, I had watched the first episode and decided I wasn’t so much of a fan. I didn’t like how dark it was. And was it just me or did seeing Malcolm in the Middle’s dad as a cancer-stricken drug dealer just weird the beans out of you? After some thought (and serious boredom), I decided to give it another go. What I found was that BB was kind of like a good wine; it only got better with time.  I just finished the series a few days ago and am heart broken. Not just because the show is over and I can no longer look forward to enjoying a pizza and glass (or two) of wine with Walter, Jesse, Skyler, and Saul every night, but when I try to talk about my utter heart brokenness with my friends, they look at me like I have three heads.

In their defense, they’ve all had a good two years to get over it. They’ve gotten through all seven stages of the grieving process, they’ve come to accept that BB is over, done, kaput. But for me, the pain is still very real. Just one of the struggles of binge-watching a show for the first time when literally everyone and their second cousin twice removed on their mom’s side has already seen it.

Here are 13 more reasons why this can be just all of the worst:

1. No one wants to talk about the show. No one. But that’s literally all you want to do in life right now.

2. Spoilers. Spoilers, spoilers everywhere. They weren’t a huge problem before you started watching the show, but now that you know the characters’ names, everything is a spoiler. Everything. *Cries in a heap as far away from the interwebs as possible.

3. You’re terrified to even mention that you’re watching the show to other people for fear that they will pull the ‘ol, “OMG have you gotten to the part where____happens?!”” Ear muffs.

4. Or, you’ll get that well-meaning person who just can’t help but accidentally spoil it when they say, “OMG I was sooooo sad when____ died! I cried for days.” Bullet-proof ear muffs.

5. And then of course you get the fun experience of assuming that anytime something minorly not-so-great happens to one of your favorite characters, that’s the moment that they’re going to kick the bucket. Oh, they missed the bus? This must be it. They decide to walk home and get run over by a moose. Cool.

6. If the show you’re currently binging on is well past its expiration date, people will look at you like you’re crazy for just watching/finishing it. I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to PLEASE TALK ABOUT THAT BREAKING BAD ENDING THOUGH!!

7. When someone asks you what your favorite show is, you may feel a little weird saying Seinfeld, considering it went off the air 17 years ago. But to be fair, Seinfeld is timeless so…

8. Oh, that actor that you’re totally obsessed with? They’re now 16 years older and have three kids so your fantasies about you casually running into them at Trader Joe’s and falling madly in love in the produce section are far less likely than if you had loved them when the show was actually airing. Not impossible, just a little less impossible. I will never let go, Jonathon Taylor Thomas, I will never let go.

9. When something huge happens on the show, very few people are still interested in freaking out about the fact that Jack, Sawyer, Kate and the rest of Oceanic flight 815 WERE NOT DEAD THE WHOLE TIME?!?! Nope, scratch that. Everyone is still freaking about that Lost ending. It will always be too soon for that one. Always.

10. You’re constantly recalling old celeb gossip while watching, which makes you a tad paranoid. Hmmm, didn’t this actor go to jail at one point and have to leave the show? When did that happen? OMG are they going to be written out of the show before they get back together with____?

11. You want to recommend the show to everyone, share the brilliance, the magic, the amazingness of it all! But everyone has already seen The Sopranos. Everyone. Except you. And maybe your grandma. Nope, even she has seen it.

12. Everyone and their mother is going to claim that they once told you how great that show was ages ago. And they’re going to want you to concede full credit to them. Boogers.

12. When you know that a show was unexpectedly canceled and ended the cliff hangers to beat all cliff hangers, you have a mini crisis trying to decide if you should stop watching at the point when things are mostly wrapped up, or if you should stick it out and risk the utter torment of an unresolved ending. RIP Firefly. RIP.

13. You finally start understanding certain references that have made their way into pop culture, and you want to use them all the time. But if you throw “Legen…wait for it…dary!” into conversation, people are just going to think that you just need to move on already!

Yep. I think I need to just start watching shows in real time from now on.

There’s this little show called Mad Men that I’ve been meaning to get around to watching. Apparently it’s like, the best.

Wait. What?! MAD MEN ENDED EARLIER THIS YEAR?!?

Bring Your Bagel to Work Day: 11 Thoughts You Have When Someone Brings Breakfast For the Office

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There is only one thing I love more than breakfast guys, and that’s free breakfast.

Picture if you will, after a long weekend full of fun and shenanigans (and perhaps a little too many mimosas at brunch), you begrudgingly roll into work, a vat of coffee in hand. You’re tired, your hair is having a particularly on-point off day, and more importantly you’re hangry because you decided to snooze the ‘ol alarm clock in favor of catching a few extra zzz’s, causing you to tragically scarf down a mere bowl of Frosted Flakes [instead of your usual 3].

Oh Mondays.

But hold on a tick.

You enter the doors of your office only to be greeted by the alluring aromas of baked goods. You follow the scent down the hallway, ignoring the pleasant “Hello’s” and “How was your weekend’s” from your co-workers. Ain’t nobody got time for that when there are donuts and bagels in the building! You follow your nose into the breakroom and that’s when you see it, the holy grail of breakfasts. As you try to take in the beauty that’s before you, the trays full of fruit, the boxes full of bready, doughy, gluteny goodness, and the containers of peanut butter and cream cheese, you start to get the sweats. The excited ‘oh-my-goodness-I’m-glad-I-wore-my-stretchy-pants-today’ sweats.

This must be exactly what Indian Jones felt like when he discovered the lost ark.

All of a sudden your Monday just went from blah to amazeballs in 0-60.

Now, if someone showed up to my office with a this gorgeous spread, I’d probably faint. I mean, bagels + doughnuts = the best things in the history of ever. But before that, a few other thoughts might go through my head, and yours, too.

1. “I could definitely eat that entire box of bagels.”

Phew. Good thing there are other people in the office to prevent me from doing just that. Oh, you’re not going to eat that? I mean, mine was pretty small.

2. “Thank God I worked out this morning!”

…because now I can just all of the food! Okay, so my “workout” consisted of hopping up and down on one foot trying to put my socks on. And possibly some ugly dancing to some TSwift in the car on the drive over. But all those calories burned need to get replenished somehow, no?

3. “If I want just the icing, will someone else eat the dough part?”

Because everyone knows that doughnuts are just really vessels for carrying sprinkle-laddened frosting.

4. “I better take some of these, and these, oh and these for later.”

You just never know when that midmorning midafternoon afternoon all-the-time hunger is going to attack.

5. “I. Must. RESIST!”

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Yep. Nope. That’s definitely not happening.

6. “Shnikies! I already had breakfast this morning.”

What am I talking about? I’ve obviously forgotten about the importance of second breakfast. Plus, I did do all of that car dancing.

7. “Where did you get these?!”

It’s probably a good idea to make friends with the person who brought this incredible Monday morning office feast, because clearly they know what’s up.

8. “I think I’m gonna be sick.”

Oh well, it’s just too damn delicious!

9. “I think I’ll just split this doughnut/bagel/croissant with someone. Yes. Great idea! I’ll just go halfsies with someone!”

Until a few hours later, when you need someone else to split another one with you.

10. “How many times can I go back for more before I get judged by my coworkers?”

2? 3? 7? I mean, in my defense these paper plates are tiny!

11. ” I don’t want to take the last one!”

Nope. I do. I totally do.

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12 books that are so ridiculously bad, they’re good: Part II

It’s no secret that I am the epitome of a book nerd. Some would even go as far to say that I’m a bit of a book hoarder, and to that I would say…yeahhhh. I can’t even argue with that. I’m definitely a book hoarder. But with good reason. Books have the power to inspire, motivate, and make you think all the thinks and feel all of the feels.

Books are…well, they’re amazing.

And as we’ve previously seen, they can be all of the ridiculous.

Ridiculously amazing that is!

Just in case you didn’t quite get your crazy book fill yet, here are 12 more off-the-wall, bonkers, zany and 110% real books that are so ridiculous, they’re amazing.

1. A straight-faced guide to doing something most of the inhabitants of this planet know how to do instinctively from the day they are born – expel poo.

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The follow-up book: How to make TP out of a fern and some maple leaves. I smell a NY Times best-seller. Pun intended.

2. Business in front, party in the back baby.

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Because what would life be without Mother Nature’s most beautiful creation… the mullet.

3. I knew he could raise the dead and turn water into wine, but I didn’t know he could drop it like it’s hot!

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That’s right; you never thought you’d see the J man doing the Carlton did you?

4. Holy sh%t this book is so d@mn good!

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America swears by it!

5. Evolution, biogenesis, and…mayo?

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I mean, life does begin and end with the perfect sandwich.

6. Oh no he/she di’int!

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Clearly this dude takes his microwavable, saturated-fatty goodness very seriously. Like, very seriously.

7. 12-15-21-6. Or was it 6-12-15-21?! Why me, God?! WHY?!?!?!

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If you’ve ever lost faith over a messed up lock combo, this book is for you. But you might not want to keep it in your locker, because, well, you know…

8. I’ve been meaning to take up dog fur knitting.

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“Oh this old thing? My sweater’s actually made of yellow lab hair balls mixed with just a hint of dandruff for optimum color.”

9. Speaking of which…

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You know what they say, save a horse; ride a knitter. There is nothing manlier than cross-stitched chaps. Mmm.

10. The perfect pairing for some fava beans and a nice chianti.

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Just the fact that this needs to be pointed out though…

11. But were there really old joys of Jello?

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You got your parfaits, you got your fruit salads, you got your disorienting ’70s food photography. Look into my Jell-O…you’re getting…sleepy…

12. This kid looks like he either a) just robbed an ATM, b) just robbed an ATM AND the Starbucks across the street or c) ate wayyy too much Jello.

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I want to one day have five just like him!

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The 11 Question Survey

Hey guys! Reporting from a very quiet (too quiet) library, on another gloomy and rainy day. Blech. The college term just ended which means the students are on break for a week, which means a very long and mind-numbingly boring next seven work days for your truly. Double blech. The good news is I can now have epic dance parties behind my desk without getting any of those questioning impressed looks that I usually get from my students whenever I pull out my running man.

Or I could just pull a *Costanza.

The more that I think about it, George really was a genius well ahead of his time.

I thought I would switch things up a bit today and have a little fun. I’m a huge sucker for all things survey, so when I saw this one that my girl Julie over at Peanut Butter Fingers posted a while back, I knew I had to do it too! I always love sharing little bits and pieces about me, and learning more about you as well! So please feel free to play along, leaving answers to any or all of these 11 questions in the comments below!

The 11 Question Survey

1. In baseball each player gets a “walk up song” that plays on his way up to the plate. What song would you pick?

I actually was having this conversation with my friend Chris (my fellow Milwaukee Brewers fan[atic]) and decided that it would probably be a tossup between Black Widow by Iggy Azalea and Rita Ora or Centuries by Fall Out Boy.

2. What’s the best thing that happened to you last weekend?

The best thing that happened to me last weekend was being able to spend time with my sister. We didn’t do anything to terribly exciting; I helped her practice for an interview she had on Monday (which she killed beeteedubs! Proud sister right here!) and then a Target run, but just being able to hang out with her is pretty incredible. I forgot how much I missed her when she was living in Georgia. I mean, yes, half of my closet has mysteriously gone missing, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. No, but seriously. Lindsay, if you’re reading this, I want my sweatshirt back.

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3. If you could have a starring role in any film already made, which movie would you pick?

Since Field of Dreams is my all-time favorite movie, I think I would go with either playing the role of either Annie or Karin. I know it’s not necessarily a staring role, but to star alongside Kevin Kostner and James Earl Jones, in any capacity?! Heaven. (actually, it’s Iowa.)

4. What actor/actress would you have play you in a movie of your life?

Emma Stone. Funny, humble, and incredibly talented. LOVE her!

5. What is your favorite quote?

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7. What was your first concert?

The first concert I ever went to was Hanson. I was thirteen and obsessed with Zach, the youngest of the brothers who was also the drummer and had the most envious of hair. Confession: I’m still obsessed with Hanson, Zach, and his incredible hair.

8. What Internet website do you visit the most?

I’m a bit of a Twitter fiend but also love visiting Hellogiggles. 🙂

9. Which of Snow White’s 7 dwarfs describes you the best and why?

Today it would definitely be Sleepy (*see Costanzaing above), but on most days, I would consider myself Happy. I try to keep a positive attitude about pretty much everything and instill that same joy in others. Life is way too short to be the Grumpy of the group.

10. If you were on death row, what would your last meal be?

Good Gobstoppers, this is a hard one. I think I would have the most epic of brinners ever: Pancakes, French toast, waffles and scrambled eggs, fresh fruit, a bowl of Frosted Flakes the size of Texas, a cold glass of chocolate milk and for dessert (because every breakfast should have dessert), a vat of Culver’s frozen custard with chocolate chip cookie dough on top. Crap. Now I want waffles.

11. What is the background of your computer?

The background of my computer is one of my favorite pictures of my main man Thunder and I. Every time I look at it, my heart explodes into a million smiles. 🙂

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Questions of the day: Now it’s your turn…

That horrifying moment when…

That horrifying moment when you’re looking for an adult but then you realize that you are an adult. So you look for an older adult, someone successfully adulating. An adultier adult.

Yeah.

That horrifying moment.

Oy.

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