My Awesomely Random Life (and Everything in Between)

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Confessions of a Booknerd

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My name is Wendi, and I am probably most definitely absolutely 110% the biggest booknerd you will ever meet.

*And damn proud of it, my friends!

When it comes to reading, I’m Tom Hanks at Denny’s right after he got off that island with Wilson. I’ll read almost anything and everything–mysteries, serious literary fiction, fluffy chic-lit fiction, biographies, memoirs, and of course one of my favorite genres, young adult fiction. I’d like to think of myself as a flexible, curious reader, always looking to learn something, feel something and discover something new.

That being said however, I do have a few quirky reading habits that I just can’t seem to shake.

And I know I’m not the only one—Joey, I’m looking at you buddy.

These eccentricities just go to show that reading is such an intensely personal activity; no one person does it the same way.

Here are just a few of the things I find myself doing when I’m knee-deep in a good page-turner.

  1. Before I actually dive into a good book, I always read the very first sentence and the very last.

When I shared this little quirk of mine with the librarian who I work with, she was a teensy bit horrified. What about the potential for spoilers? I get what’s she putting down, I do. But for me, reading the last sentence gives me just a hint of what’s to come, and piques my interest to find out how it fits in with the beginning of the book. I’m very careful to read only the very last sentence, and I try to avoid looking elsewhere on the page. There’s something suspenseful and thrilling about peeking ahead—but only just a little bit.

And you thought reading wasn’t badass.

The one time I can remember this backfiring on me is with the J.D. Salinger short story, “A Perfect Day for Bananafish.” If you’ve read the story, you understand.

  1. I hate folding down the page corners of a book.

Hate it! I will try to McGyver a bookmark out of just about anything before taking the drastic step to dog-ear a page; old receipts, a penny, a bobbi pin, even a butter knife (don’t ask).

  1. I also hate it when books get reinvented, new and flashy covers.

Some are more heartbreaking than others, like when the Harry Potter series was updated. The new covers seemed so strange and foreign to me; it was almost like it was a completely different book. The first edition I own or read will always be the best. No special new editions for this girl.

  1. I will go out of my way to get the hard cover versions of a book, even if I already own it in paperback or on my Nook.

There is just something about a hard cover; it’s hard binding, it’s strength, it’s durability. Just thinking about one gets me all flushed. Some Many Most think I’m crazy-sauce for buying a book if I already have it. But it’s kind of the same thing as buying that second pair of identical jeans that you’ve already got hanging in your closet, right? Which reminds me, I need to buy more jeans. As you can imagine, I am beginning to accumulate a lot of books. A lot of books.

  1. And finally, I love when books have a price sticker on the back of the cover that you can peel off.

My favorite local bookstore when I was a kid had those types of labels, and I loved bringing home a new book and peeling off the sticker. This childhood ritual has manifested itself in other areas of my life — I also love peeling the plastic protective sheet off of electronic devices and the labels off of water bottles. And don’t even get me started on those little stickers that come on your apples or bananas! I know, I don’t really get it either.

But we all have our little quirks, don’t we?

Question of the day: Do you have any unique quirks, reading or otherwise?

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The 10 Commandments of Dating/Being Friends With an Uber Sports Fan

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Y’all, big news. HUGE! OPENING DAY FOR THE MILWAUKEE BREWERS IS JUST 4 (4!!!) VERY SHORT DAYS (and 9 hours and 26 minutes and 15, 14, 13…seconds) AWAY!!!!!!

Not that I’m counting or anything.

Totally not counting.

Okay. I’m definitely counting. For those who don’t know, I’m kind of a big Brewers fan[atic]. Like, the biggest. I’m not even gonna try to sugarcoat it. And this madness, this undeniable fandom that I have? It’s a crutch. Being so emotionally invested in a handful of professional athletes who don’t even know you exist is a torrid addiction. This is a sports fan’s cross to bear. But here’s the thing you have to understand: If we’re going to have this as a vice, it’s much better than any other vices we could possibly adopt. Really. You’re lucky it’s sports we love.

But please don’t ever say it’s “just” a game.

  1. Thou shalt not interrupt the game.

It’s sneaky and disingenuous to ask us to take out the trash, or what we want for dinner, and especially if it’s okay if your mother comes to visit. Please save all questions on how our day was until the final buzzer/inning/quarter. We appreciate that you care, but how we feel about our day is wholly dependent on this game. We will be able to tell you how our day was afterward. Also, if you RSVP or plan an event or date at the same time a game is on — especially when you know the game is on — you waive all rights for being angry when we explain why we just can’t even.

  1. Thou shalt not tell us we’re getting too loud in the bar.

If the bar did not want us to be loud, they would not be playing the game on one of the TVs and encouraging us with loads of alcoholic beverages. WTF!!! ARE YOU CRAZY, UMP?!!? HE WAS TOTALLY SAFE!!!

  1. Thou shalt not record your show when the game is on.

Hulu and HBOgo exist for reasons. The game takes precedence. This is why it’s wise to invest in the kind of DVR that can multitask recording one show while you’re watching another. Really, it’s worth the money for all parties involved.

  1. Thou shalt not call us crazy when we stay up late or wake up early to watch a game.

Sssh, babe, go back to sleep. We need to watch this in real time. It’s not our fault time zones absolutely suck.

  1. Thou shalt not question absurd team-related purchases.*

Such items include: $300 for an autographed picture; a signed ball; a vintage, collector’s jersey; ridiculously exorbitant tickets when our team is finally in town; tickets to the championship, etc. If this is our one chance to spend hundreds of dollars on a playoff game? Yeah, we’re going to do it. When else would we have $900 lying around for no reason? This might not happen ever again!

*This does not apply to cardboard cut-outs of our favorite player as living room decor. Really, it’s for our own good. We’re gonna want to do it, but don’t let us do it, because if you do, pretty soon we’re inviting Lucroy to the dinner table and saying that “Lucroy and I agree” when we disagree with you and really, nobody wins in this scenario.

  1. Thou shalt not try to understand why we are so emotionally invested in a game whose outcome we have no control over.

Look, rooting for sports is like loving movie stars in that there is really less than 0.00005% chance that having a crush on Chris Pratt or Chris Evans (call me!) is going to result in holy matrimony, and there’s less than 0.00005% chance that our undying love for our team is going to help them win a game. But, you know, there’s a chance. We like to think there’s a chance. It gives us the will to go on.

  1. Thou shalt not question our “odd” pre-game rituals.

Up to and including: sitting in the same chair every night; live-tweeting the game like it is the second coming of the Oscars; or wearing the same, grubby jersey/pair of socks every time. We will take care of that sacred piece of laundry when we see fit.

  1. If we are in a fight, thou shalt not begin rooting for the rival team just to piss us off.

And if we go into this relationship already rooting for bitter enemies, well, get ready for some really passive-aggressive, irrational arguments. (And you’re not allowed to introduce us to your friends as “She’s great, even for a [____] fan!”)

  1. Thou shalt not complain when all of our friends always come over to watch the game.

The rules of Sportsfanship™ clearly stipulate that the house with the biggest TV and appropriate cable package hosts any and all game viewing. If you really want to see less of the rowdy couch cheering section, get a smaller TV… actually, no, please don’t do that.

  1. Thou shalt order the pizza and wings to show that you care.

Truly clutch people also buy the beer, but really, if you just respect that this time is sacred time between us and a motley crew of athletic spectacle, that is more than we could ever, ever ask for, amen.

**Cubs and/or Cardinals fans need not apply.

15 Signs You Literally Don’t Give a F@*& Now That You’re Almost 30

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Ugh.

I’m getting old, guys.

Like, ‘in bed by 9 o’clock, gets hurt while playing kickball, can’t remember if I ate lunch so I eat second lunch’ old.

I’m more than half way into my 29th year and while for the most part I still feel and look my age, I definitely have my moments where I can’t help but feel like I’m inching ever so slightly over that damn hill. Despite my incessant complaining however, I’m glad I’m in the place in life that I am. It may have taken me a while to get here, but I finally have learned to embrace the things I want, and don’t want. The things I like, and don’t like. Life is way too short to worry about things that aren’t worth worrying about.

Ya dig?

Here are just 15 signs that you literally don’t give a f@*& now that you’re almost 30.

1. When people invite you to social outings that you don’t want to go to, you don’t come up with any particular excuse. You just say, “No.” And it feels glorious.

2. When you experienced a friend getting engaged for the first time, you were like, “OMFG WEDDINGS YASSS LOVE!!!” But now when it happens, you’re just like, “Aw. I’m so happy for you. Brb. I need to order a pizza.”

3. Forever 21 is a young man’s game. If a retail store stresses you out and only carries clothes that seem to be made for American Girl dolls, you’re donzo.

4. You’ve started referring to high school students as “children” or “youths.”

5. You don’t make any attempts to hide your hangovers anymore. They happen so easily (like, 2-3 beers easily) that you don’t even fight them. You just let them take over your soul.

6. Your weight fluctuates more than Chandler’s. And it’s whatever.

7. In your opinion, looking like you showered is the same thing as actually showering.

8. “Does anyone have any Pepto?” is something you frequently utter during dinner with your friends.

9. Brunch has become more about the quality of the bacon than about the deals you can get on bottomless mimosas.

10. Nope. Scratch that. It’s still all about the mimosas.

11. When someone tries to start a political discussion at a party, you just look at them like:

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12. Dressing uncomfortably is awkward for tweens. These days, you’re all about wearing your favorite t-shirt during a night out.

13. You’re less concerned with how good you look for work today and more concerned with how long you can hit the snooze button before you have to crawldrag yourself kicking and screaming out of your bedroom cave.

14. Life is stressful these days. So if you need a good cry while riding public transportation, you’re damn well certain you’ll make it happen.

15. Joining a gym is for recent college grads. You’d prefer to just live in a 4th-floor walk up and leave the house every once in a while.

Or, I mean, you could just join a debilitating kickball team.

QOTD: What are some things that you just don’t give a f@*& about now that you’ve reached a certain age?

So Call Me Maybe?

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I know I’m probably in the unpopular opinion here, but guys, I kinda love talking on the phone, having actual conversations with people sans emojis. There’s something really exciting about curling up on your favorite chair, with your favorite glass of Mascato, chatting it up with your favorite person. The butterflies, the nervous laughs, the incessant blushing. Don’t get me wrong, my texting game is on point, and there’s definitely a time and place for it, for surely. But in general, I’m pro-phone call.

I hate to break it to you, but we as a society have lost the art of communication, my friends. We want things to be quick, to be simple, 140-characters or less. We crave connection in all things–Facebook, Instagram and Twitter enveloping us all in this 24/7, 365 loop of status updates, pictures and tweets–yet, we do so in a way that’s so informal, so impersonal that it makes us question how real that connection is in the first place.

I may be swinging for the fences majorly here y’all, but I think we need to petition to bring back–along with Dunkaroos and scrunchies–the phone call.

And here’s why:

  1. A phone call is real-time.

With texting, we tend to play this ridiculous game that revolves around who has the power in the conversation. The person who has yet to respond leaves the other person on pins and needles, wondering if that was a dumb thing to say, if they were just scared off, if they’re really on a date with someone much more interesting right now — any number of possibilities, really. We’re so caught up in the fear of looking “too eager,” when every party involved knows that your phone is industrially glued to your hands at all times, and you at least know that text was received.

If you like someone, have a conversation with them — and if you’re having a conversation with someone you like, you should reply. Replying immediately to what somebody says isn’t too eager, it’s how we talk. After all, you’d look really silly if you took a 10 minute pause in a phone call just to look in demand and busy.

  1. You’re each getting each other, unfiltered and honest.

Ums, uhs, endearingly weird little laughs, the excessive use of “like” and all. There’s no first drafts, no consulting friends for what you should say, no debating over which emoji perfectly resonates with the point you’re trying to make. Sure, there’s no way to optimize all of your best jokes before you say them, but at the same time, if they can’t accept you at your subpar witticisms, then do they really deserve you at your most flawless zingers?

  1. It’s clear that you’re giving them your time.

You could, in theory, have the other person on speaker as you’re multitasking with a volley of other people’s texts, the television on mute, and cooking dinner, but you’re still on the phone with only them. And they’re going to be able to tell if your voice drops off from distraction — and I would sincerely hope that somebody would be able to tell if you disappeared to answer another phone call in the middle of your conversation.

  1. It’s clear that you value their time.

Not only are they worth all of those rollover minutes you’ve accrued, but again, you’re not frittering away 20 minutes of their time just so you can seem busy and important. We’re all busy, we all have things to do, and spending time wondering why somebody hasn’t texted you back is a pretty poor use of that time. If you’re really worried that you’re interrupting something, text the other person first to see if they’re even available to talk on the phone.

  1. Hearing someone’s voice is always that much more special.

There have been countless studies on all of the hormones and nerves that fire in our brains when we hear the voices of people we care about (I mean, this heartwarming baby is proof enough). Think about all the times your high school crush said your name in class and your heart basically leapt into your throat. You can play Instagram-tag all you want and like as many selfies as your little digital heart desires, but nothing’s going to replace hearing somebody else’s voice — and especially when that voice is saying something expressly for you to hear.

  1. There’s something wonderfully old-school about it.

We live in a world where you can order anything you could ever think of from apps and websites — taking the time to pick up the phone and call someone is special. I doubt that you have a phone cord to get wrapped up in or that you’re stuck sitting in the kitchen, tethered to the wall, but there’s still that sense of butterflies when you see somebody’s name pop up on your phone. Sure, it might seem cheesy to curl up in bed with your phone clamped to your ear, talking to someone you like – but why is being cheesy sometimes such a bad thing? It’s only viewed as overwrought because we’re so hellbent on seeming like we don’t care, and that self-preservation won’t get us anywhere in terms of relationships.

  1. There’s no way you can misunderstand someone.

All of that text sub — wait for it — text doesn’t exist in a phone call. What did they mean by ‘ha’? Did you use the wrong emoji? (Why are all the existential crises over emoji?) Did you say something that could be construed as offensive to somebody who was sensitive about it? Even if you do overstep the line, at least on a phone call, you’re more apt to hash it out right then and there, rather than stashing your feelings down and letting it fester until it blows out of proportion somewhere else.

  1. This conversation is just between you two.

You can’t screenshot the conversation to send to friends for instant textual analysis, and neither can they. Sure, you can call up your best friend afterward and dissect ever last pause and vocal inflection, but you really don’t have to. Conversations are just what they are sometimes. And if you can’t keep a few quality flirting sessions as private things between you and this other person, are you going to be able to do this when it comes time to having a real relationship?

The next time you’re thinking of constructing that novel-esque text about plans for next weekend or that awfully awful day you had at work or your thoughts on this year’s Brewers prospects, call me maybe?

 

Thursday nights, paydays and boobsweat

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The older I get, the more I’ve come to the conclusion that things are a bit (okay, a lot. Things are A LOT different) than they were 10, even 5 years ago. I may still look like I’m pre-pubescent, and I will probably forever and always get carded for that PBR, but this whole adulting thang has changed the way I do, think and feel about certain things, things that 10, even 5 years ago had a mostly positive connotation to them whereas now, they just emulate a feeling of panic and overwhelming boobsweat.

Here are just 24 things (words, actions and ideas) that can mean something totally different now that you’re full-on adulting.

  1. Payday

Used to mean: Every other Friday, you’re gonna make it rainnnn in this club (or mall, or GameStop, whatever floats your pubescent boat). You worked hard after school and on weekends! You deserve it!

Now means: The day when rent is due and you need to pay your bills, and maybe if you have any money left over, you can buy a drink to forget how little money you have.

  1. Credit

Used to mean: Something you never got for doing all the work in group projects.

Now means: Something you can’t buy any more books/shoes/books/Brewers tickets/books on.

  1. Healthy eating

Used to mean: [Nothing. You did not care. You did not need to care. You had the metabolism of a marathoner.]

Now means: “Well, I guess if I choke down this overpriced chopped salad, I can have a cookie to go with it, right? That’s fair, right?”

  1. Forever 21

Used to mean: The place you frequented at the mall to try on mass-produced crop tops and miniskirts that barely covered your butt, let alone any leg at all.

Now means: The place where you tell yourself that the the 21 part of the name is arbitrary and age is nothing but a number.

  1. Salary

Used to mean: A steady income, something to aim for beyond the meager hourly wages of working after school and on weekends.

Now means: Health insurance, thank the lord.

  1. Hangover

Used to mean: A really annoying thing to have in class.

Now means: A perfectly valid reason to write your last will.

  1. Thursday night

Used to mean: The glorious pre-weekend in which you went wild a day before everyone else and laughed at their sad, fun-less lives.

Now means: A long overdue date with your unfolded laundry and Swiffer wetjet.

  1. Chores

Used to mean: A thing you avoided at all costs.

Now means: Something you really want to get around to doing thoroughly but you just don’t have the time so you wind up paying people or scheduling your Wild Thursday Nights(tm) around.

  1. Friends

Used to mean: People you hung out with all the time, typically dictated by class or sports teams.

Now means: The few people who have still hung around after your third breakup and/or emotional breakdown, and fully except you, extreme weirdness and all. (So like, six people.)

  1. Parents

Used to mean: People who heckled you about picking up your room, your grades and your strict not-dating-until-you’re-30 status.

Now means: Your best friends and financial savio… I mean, advisors.

  1. Facebook

Used to mean: A place where you connect with old friends.

Now means: An advertisement for the engagements of random people you had one class with four years ago. And where your mom posts memes.

  1. Weekend

Used to mean: Going out to as many bars as you could, especially when you no longer had to hope the bouncer would believe your fake I.D.

Now means: 48 glorious hours when you do not have to leave the house at all and can form butt grooves in the couch as you marathon some House Hunters with bae.

  1. Exams

Used to mean: Something you can easily pass by studying at the last minute.

Now means: Something your doctor performs that could now mean life or death, if only your insurance covers it.

  1. Shot

Used to mean: A great, single-serving portion of alcohol that reinforces how much FUN you are having right now.

Now means: A single serving of hate-yourself-tomorrow in a glass that seems way bigger than it should be for just a shot.

  1. Plans

Used to mean: Something you locked in 45 seconds beforehand.

Now means: Something you lock in 3 months in advance, only to debate if you can make up a weak cough or bug or thing and bail with literally 5 seconds to spare before you need to show up.

  1. Takeout

Used to mean: Something your parents used to get and you were pretty indifferent about, except in thinking that it was mom or dad taking the lazy way out of dinner.

Now means: The most important part of your day/week/month/life.

  1. Phone call

Used to mean: A convenient way for your parents to check in on you.

Now means: Something. Terrible. Has. Happened.

  1. Voicemail

Used to mean: A convenient way for your parents to let you know they called, if you missed them when they checked in on you.

Now means: There is only one option: someone has DIED.

  1. Savings account

Used to mean: What your parents tell you you need to get, and you load up with Christmas money you would much rather spend on the ice cream truck.

Now means: A thing you definitely shouldn’t’ve used to book your flight to Italy, but here we are, my friends, here we are.

  1. Coffee

Used to mean: Something you drink in order to appear sophisticated and grown up, even if it was just a milky latte with sugary syrup. It was still the theory of coffee.

Now means: Something you drink to keep you from hurting people in the morning.

  1. Morning

Used to mean: 10 am, if you really had to get up that early.

Now means: The brutally painful, still-dark hours of 6 am, so you can hit the gym before work (you tell yourself, before you hit snooze until 8:05).

  1. Love life

Used to mean: The series of complicated flirting tactics you used in the middle of Econ to catch the eye of the hottie three seats down.

Now means: Lol, wut?

  1. Figuring It Out

Used to mean: Charismatically exploring all life has to offer.

Now means: Living in a constant, crippling fear of people asking you about your career and aforementioned love life.

  1. Dreams

Used to mean: Attainable by 25.

Now means: Attainable by 43. (Maybe.)

(Hopefully.)

Oh how life has changed, my friends.

The 10 Commandments of Dating an Uber Sports Fan

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Y’all, big news. HUGE! OPENING DAY FOR THE MILWAUKEE BREWERS IS JUST 41 SHORT DAYS (and 9 hours and 26 minutes and 15, 14, 13…seconds) AWAY!!!!!!

Not that I’m counting or anything.

Totally not counting.

Okay. I’m definitely counting. For those who don’t know, I’m kind of a big Brewers fan[atic]. Like, the biggest. I’m not even gonna try to sugarcoat it. And this madness, this undeniable fandom that I have? It’s a crutch. Being so emotionally invested in a handful of professional athletes who don’t even know you exist is a torrid addiction. This is a sports fan’s cross to bear. But here’s the thing you have to understand: If we’re going to have this as a vice, it’s much better than any other vices we could possibly adopt. (Like books. Or ice cream. Or pairs of Nikes. Wait…..) Really. You’re lucky it’s sports we love.

But please don’t ever say it’s “just” a game.

  1. Thou shalt not interrupt the game.

It’s sneaky and disingenuous to ask us to take out the trash, or what we want for dinner, and especially if it’s okay if your mother comes to visit. Please save all questions how our day was until the final buzzer/inning/quarter. We appreciate that you care, but how we feel about our day is wholly dependent on this game. We will be able to tell you how our day was afterward. Also, if you RSVP or plan an event or date at the same time a game is on — especially when you know the game is on — you waive all rights for being angry when we explain why we just can’t.

  1. Thou shalt not tell us we’re getting too loud in the bar.

If the bar did not want us to be loud, they would not be playing the game on one of the TVs and encouraging us with loads of alcoholic beverages. WTF!!! ARE YOU CRAZY, UMP?!!? HE WAS TOTALLY SAFE!!!

  1. Thou shalt not record your show when the game is on.

Hulu and HBOgo exist for reasons. The game takes precedence. This is why it’s wise to invest in the kind of DVR that can multitask recording one show while you’re watching another. Really, it’s worth the money for all parties involved.

  1. Thou shalt not call us crazy when we stay up late or wake up early to watch a game.

Sssh, babe, go back to sleep. We need to watch this in real time. It’s not our fault time zones absolutely suck.

  1. Thou shalt not question absurd team-related purchases.*

Such items include: $300 for an autographed picture; a signed ball; a vintage, collector’s jersey; ridiculously exorbitant tickets when our team is finally in town; tickets to the championship, etc. If this is our one chance to spend hundreds of dollars on a playoff game? Yeah, we’re going to do it. When else would we have $900 lying around for no reason? This might not happen ever again!

*This does not apply to cardboard cut-outs of our favorite player as living room decor. Really, it’s for our own good. We’re gonna want to do it, but don’t let us do it, because if you do, pretty soon we’re inviting Lucroy to the dinner table and saying that “Lucroy and I agree” when we disagree with you and really, nobody wins in this scenario.

  1. Thou shalt not try to understand why we are so emotionally invested in a game whose outcome we have no control over.

Look, rooting for sports are like loving movie stars in that there is really less than 0.00005% chance that having a crush on Emma Watson or Chris Evans (call me!) is going to result in holy matrimony, and there’s less than 0.00005% chance that our undying love for our team is going to help them win a game. But, you know, there’s a chance. We like to think there’s a chance. It gives us the will to go on.

  1. Thou shalt not question our “odd” pre-game rituals.

Up to and including: sitting in the same chair every night; tweeting at our favorite players, and or live-tweeting the game like it is the second coming of the Oscars; or wearing the same, grubby jersey every time. We will take care of that sacred piece of laundry when we see fit.

  1. If we are in a fight, thou shalt not begin rooting for the rival team just to piss us off.

And if we go into this relationship already rooting for bitter enemies, well, get ready for some really passive-aggressive, irrational arguments. (And you’re not allowed to introduce us to your friends as “great, even for a [____] fan!”)

  1. Thou shalt not complain when all of our friends always come over to watch the game.

The rules of Sportsfanship™ clearly stipulate that the house with the biggest TV and appropriate cable package hosts any and all game viewing. If you really want to see less of the rowdy couch cheering section, get a smaller T… actually, no, please don’t do that.

  1. Thou shalt order the pizza and wings to show that you care.

Truly clutch people also buy the beer, but really, if you just respect that this time is sacred time between us and a motley crew of athletic spectacle, that is more than we could ever, ever ask for, amen.

**Cubs and/or Cardinals fans need not apply.

 

Confessions from a Librarian

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Well hey, guys! I hope your hump day is going super fantabulous so far! I thought I would take a moment to talk shop with y’all. As many of you know, when I’m not out fighting crime and eating my weight in ice cream, I spend my every days as a librarian.

A very cool and kickass librarian.

I absolutely love my job, and wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Well, maybe forever good hair days and season tickets to the Milwaukee Brewers for life. But since those things probbbbbably aren’t happening anytime soon, I think I’ll stick with this gig I’ve got going on. I mean, a booknerd getting to work with books all day long, inspiring other people to become booknerds, in a building FULL OF BOOKS?! Kind of, most definitely dream job territory.

My first foray into the library world was working as a Children’s Librarian intern at the Milwaukee Public Library (which was awesome sauce) followed by my current position as the head librarian at Westwood College. And soon, I hope to get my booty back into the public library sector (and by soon, I mean within two weeks because homegirl is going to be out of a job). While the two areas–public libraries and academic–are vastly different, they both feed my love of working with people, encouraging them to become forever learners, doers, thinkers and readers.

Both jobs also involve so much more than just ‘Shshhhhing’ patrons, checking out books and rocking a mean cardigan sweater. I could go on and on about what me and my fellow kickass librarians do every day, the cataloguing processes, the weeding of collections, the programming and budgets and reading advisories, but I don’t want to spring too much excitement all at once. It’s best given in small doses, much like seeing your Aunt Carol, or kale.

What I want to talk to you today about is what goes on behind the scenes, things that may go against all Librarian Code (which if found out, will cause me to lose all street cred which is why this goes in the vault!)

Secrets from the stacks.

Here are my librarian confessions:

  1. I dogear my pages, even though I tell my students/patrons to use bookmarks.
  2. I borrowed and lost my public library’s copy of A Wrinkle in Time when I was 5. I’m likely still banned from borrowing. #oops
  3. I sat in the inside bookdrop one time…and couldn’t get out. That was the epitome of a good time.
  4. I eat at my desk, sometimes while handling and cataloguing new books for the collection. Because hangry is a very real thing, y’all.
  5.  “50 Shades…”why read it when you can live it amiright?! Kidding. Totally kidding on that one.
  6. I’m completely okay with you violating copyright laws by ripping our DVDs and CDs (and might even show you how).
  7. I dropped a cupcake on a book…in the staff lounge.
  8. If there’s a new book I want to read, I hoard it in my desk drawer so that no one can check it out before I get to it. I know. I KNOW!
  9. I deface library books by circling errors that weren’t caught by the proofreaders before the book went to print. In pencil! (But still…)
  10. An employer recently asked me in an interview: ‘What have you read and enjoyed recently?’ I listed some best sellers and local fiction instead of saying that I’m currently reading Harry Potter for the tenth time.
  11. It hurts me, like in my soul, how willing my library is to throw away old books.  Donate them to a good, loving reader’s home or school. Someone, somewhere, will read them.  I promise!
  12. You will get briefer reference desk service if I can smell your breath from across my desk. Sorry not sorry.
  13. I encourage people to be loud. Not too loud, but I hate stuffy libraries. I want patrons/students to feel comfortable coming in, hanging out, and dare I say it…having fun.
  14. I Google.

Like I said, this is in the vault.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some books to hoard.

QOTD: What are some of your profession confessions?

 

 

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