Today I thought it would be fun, not at all a drag,
to show you what I have stashed away in my work bag.
This glorious duffle was a gift to myself,
Purchased at the NYC Public Library, sitting high on top of a shelf.
It’s big and sturdy and carries just all the things,
the perfect home for all of my belongings.
Every day I fill it from brim to core, with whosits and whatsits and thingamajigs galore.
The following is a list of just some of the gizmos I carry,
Including that pair of sunglasses that I once bought from a weird guy named Larry.
Let’s begin with the essentials, the things to help get you through your day:
(Lots) of chocolate, a good book and a bottle of nail polish colored 50 shades of gray.
A brush, some chapstick, a headband with polka dots;
And a giant jar of white chocolate peanut butter, because, why not?
A charging cord for my Apple i-Phone, because let’s face it; with zero bars, I feel so alone.
I’ve got your credit cards and cash, your spare change and random checks;
And if you need a pack of playing cards, I’ve got two decks.
There are Band-Aids and dental floss, lotion and perfume spray;
Because having paper cuts, food in your teeth and stinky, dry skin is the worst in every possible way.
So many wingdings of all sizes and shapes,
I think I’ve even got last year’s Halloween costume in there, a pair of Superman’s tight tights and his cape.
In this bag I carry a ton, a lot, just oh so much.
From gadzoocks and wingdings, heck I’ve even got lunch!
It’s a good thing I’ve got this super giant sack.
Can you imagine trying to carry all of this in one tiny fanny pack?
But I better get going, I’ve got a lot of work to do.
After all, I don’t think this jar of peanut butter is going to eat itself.