There is only one thing I love more than breakfast guys, and that’s free breakfast.
Picture if you will, after a long weekend full of fun and shenanigans (and perhaps a little too many mimosas at brunch), you begrudgingly roll into work, a vat of coffee in hand. You’re tired, your hair is having a particularly on-point off day, and more importantly you’re hangry because you decided to snooze the ‘ol alarm clock in favor of catching a few extra zzz’s, causing you to tragically scarf down a mere bowl of Frosted Flakes [instead of your usual 3].
But hold on a tick.
You enter the doors of your office only to be greeted by the alluring aromas of baked goods. You follow the scent down the hallway, ignoring the pleasant “Hello’s” and “How was your weekend’s” from your co-workers. Ain’t nobody got time for that when there are donuts and bagels in the building! You follow your nose into the breakroom and that’s when you see it, the holy grail of breakfasts. As you try to take in the beauty that’s before you, the trays full of fruit, the boxes full of bready, doughy, gluteny goodness, and the containers of peanut butter and cream cheese, you start to get the sweats. The excited ‘oh-my-goodness-I’m-glad-I-wore-my-stretchy-pants-today’ sweats.
This must be exactly what Indian Jones felt like when he discovered the lost ark.
All of a sudden your Monday just went from blah to amazeballs in 0-60.
Now, if someone showed up to my office with a this gorgeous spread, I’d probably faint. I mean, bagels + doughnuts = the best things in the history of ever. But before that, a few other thoughts might go through my head, and yours, too.
1. “I could definitely eat that entire box of bagels.”
Phew. Good thing there are other people in the office to prevent me from doing just that. Oh, you’re not going to eat that? I mean, mine was pretty small.
2. “Thank God I worked out this morning!”
…because now I can just all of the food! Okay, so my “workout” consisted of hopping up and down on one foot trying to put my socks on. And possibly some ugly dancing to some TSwift in the car on the drive over. But all those calories burned need to get replenished somehow, no?
3. “If I want just the icing, will someone else eat the dough part?”
Because everyone knows that doughnuts are just really vessels for carrying sprinkle-laddened frosting.
4. “I better take some of these, and these, oh and these for later.”
You just never know when that
midmorning midafternoon afternoon all-the-time hunger is going to attack.
5. “I. Must. RESIST!”
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Yep. Nope. That’s definitely not happening.
6. “Shnikies! I already had breakfast this morning.”
What am I talking about? I’ve obviously forgotten about the importance of second breakfast. Plus, I did do all of that car dancing.
7. “Where did you get these?!”
It’s probably a good idea to make friends with the person who brought this incredible Monday morning office feast, because clearly they know what’s up.
8. “I think I’m gonna be sick.”
Oh well, it’s just too damn delicious!
9. “I think I’ll just split this doughnut/bagel/croissant with someone. Yes. Great idea! I’ll just go halfsies with someone!”
Until a few hours later, when you need someone else to split another one with you.
10. “How many times can I go back for more before I get judged by my coworkers?”
2? 3? 7? I mean, in my defense these paper plates are tiny!
11. ” I don’t want to take the last one!”
Nope. I do. I totally do.