My Awesomely Random Life (and Everything in Between)

Posts tagged ‘Friendship’

The 10 Commandments of Dating/Being Friends With an Uber Sports Fan


Y’all, big news. HUGE! OPENING DAY FOR THE MILWAUKEE BREWERS IS JUST 4 (4!!!) VERY SHORT DAYS (and 9 hours and 26 minutes and 15, 14, 13…seconds) AWAY!!!!!!

Not that I’m counting or anything.

Totally not counting.

Okay. I’m definitely counting. For those who don’t know, I’m kind of a big Brewers fan[atic]. Like, the biggest. I’m not even gonna try to sugarcoat it. And this madness, this undeniable fandom that I have? It’s a crutch. Being so emotionally invested in a handful of professional athletes who don’t even know you exist is a torrid addiction. This is a sports fan’s cross to bear. But here’s the thing you have to understand: If we’re going to have this as a vice, it’s much better than any other vices we could possibly adopt. Really. You’re lucky it’s sports we love.

But please don’t ever say it’s “just” a game.

  1. Thou shalt not interrupt the game.

It’s sneaky and disingenuous to ask us to take out the trash, or what we want for dinner, and especially if it’s okay if your mother comes to visit. Please save all questions on how our day was until the final buzzer/inning/quarter. We appreciate that you care, but how we feel about our day is wholly dependent on this game. We will be able to tell you how our day was afterward. Also, if you RSVP or plan an event or date at the same time a game is on — especially when you know the game is on — you waive all rights for being angry when we explain why we just can’t even.

  1. Thou shalt not tell us we’re getting too loud in the bar.

If the bar did not want us to be loud, they would not be playing the game on one of the TVs and encouraging us with loads of alcoholic beverages. WTF!!! ARE YOU CRAZY, UMP?!!? HE WAS TOTALLY SAFE!!!

  1. Thou shalt not record your show when the game is on.

Hulu and HBOgo exist for reasons. The game takes precedence. This is why it’s wise to invest in the kind of DVR that can multitask recording one show while you’re watching another. Really, it’s worth the money for all parties involved.

  1. Thou shalt not call us crazy when we stay up late or wake up early to watch a game.

Sssh, babe, go back to sleep. We need to watch this in real time. It’s not our fault time zones absolutely suck.

  1. Thou shalt not question absurd team-related purchases.*

Such items include: $300 for an autographed picture; a signed ball; a vintage, collector’s jersey; ridiculously exorbitant tickets when our team is finally in town; tickets to the championship, etc. If this is our one chance to spend hundreds of dollars on a playoff game? Yeah, we’re going to do it. When else would we have $900 lying around for no reason? This might not happen ever again!

*This does not apply to cardboard cut-outs of our favorite player as living room decor. Really, it’s for our own good. We’re gonna want to do it, but don’t let us do it, because if you do, pretty soon we’re inviting Lucroy to the dinner table and saying that “Lucroy and I agree” when we disagree with you and really, nobody wins in this scenario.

  1. Thou shalt not try to understand why we are so emotionally invested in a game whose outcome we have no control over.

Look, rooting for sports is like loving movie stars in that there is really less than 0.00005% chance that having a crush on Chris Pratt or Chris Evans (call me!) is going to result in holy matrimony, and there’s less than 0.00005% chance that our undying love for our team is going to help them win a game. But, you know, there’s a chance. We like to think there’s a chance. It gives us the will to go on.

  1. Thou shalt not question our “odd” pre-game rituals.

Up to and including: sitting in the same chair every night; live-tweeting the game like it is the second coming of the Oscars; or wearing the same, grubby jersey/pair of socks every time. We will take care of that sacred piece of laundry when we see fit.

  1. If we are in a fight, thou shalt not begin rooting for the rival team just to piss us off.

And if we go into this relationship already rooting for bitter enemies, well, get ready for some really passive-aggressive, irrational arguments. (And you’re not allowed to introduce us to your friends as “She’s great, even for a [____] fan!”)

  1. Thou shalt not complain when all of our friends always come over to watch the game.

The rules of Sportsfanship™ clearly stipulate that the house with the biggest TV and appropriate cable package hosts any and all game viewing. If you really want to see less of the rowdy couch cheering section, get a smaller TV… actually, no, please don’t do that.

  1. Thou shalt order the pizza and wings to show that you care.

Truly clutch people also buy the beer, but really, if you just respect that this time is sacred time between us and a motley crew of athletic spectacle, that is more than we could ever, ever ask for, amen.

**Cubs and/or Cardinals fans need not apply.

I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends


Y’all, this whole adulting thing is hard. If I knew I’d have to do things like pay bills, go to work, pay more bills, deal with insurance and 401K’s, finding out what an actual 401K is, pay more bills, navigate the dating scene, do laundry, and attempt to make dinner while perfecting the perfect winged eyeliner look, all while trying to have an somewhat active social life–well, I definitely would’ve read the fine print before signing up.

As much as I like to complain, for the most part, I actually really do love the place that I’m in in life right now. And while this whole adulting this can have its challenges, there are some things that make it a bit easier, a little more manageable, and a hell of a lot more fun.

One such thing: your BFFs.

I am lucky enough to have some of the best friends a gal could ever ask for (you guys know who you are, and I heart you hardcore!). People who understand and get my nerdy, quirky, weird, strange, ridiculous self, and love me all the more for it. People who I know I can rely on to give me advice, support, really bad dad jokes, and the swift kick in the ass during those times when I need it most.

Could I successfully adult without these fantabulous besties in my life?

Maybe. Probably. There’s a good chance I could.

Would I want to?

How about no, Scott!

Here are just some of the reasons why your adulting years are that much more awesome with your friends by your side.

1. Because you would never get through your work day without their heinous, purposely unflattering, quadruple-chin Snapchats.

2. Because they’re willing to be a total waste of life with you when you need a day to relax, stay in your Harry Potter pajamas, and binge watch Netflix for hours.

3. But they’re also willing to light a fire under your ass if you’re being worthless with your life and need a tough kick in the pants.

4. They tell you when you’re being an idiot in your love life – whether it’s because you’re dating someone totally wrong for you, or because you’re letting someone totally right for you get away.

5. Because they’ll make you a PicStitch for your birthday that you actually look good in, too.

6. You can count on them more than anyone else in the world when you’re in need of someone to Gchat with – especially on Monday mornings when everything’s the worst.

7. Because they can instantly sense when something’s wrong with you – whether it’s by phone, text message, or in person.

8. And when you try to say everything is fine, they’re the first to tell you to cut the crap and come out with what’s bothering you.

9. Because even more important than being a shoulder to cry on, they are a body to split a pizza and a bottle of wine with.

10. Because they love you enough to tell you when you’re being a whiny brat about your job and need to just suck it up.

11. But they’re also the first to tell you if they believe you’re being overworked or treated unfairly at your job and deserve something better.

12. Because they’ll let you listen to “Hello” as many times as you need to in order to feel emotionally fulfilled.

13. They’re the only one who will actually tell you when you’re wearing something that you’re going to regret down the line.

14. Because they’re the first person you FaceTime in the morning when you wake up with an adult hangover (read: any night where you had more than two drinks and naturally feel like shit).

15. Because they remind you to do adult stuff that you would never remember on your own – like getting a flu shot, updating your change of address when you move, scheduling a dentist appointment, etc.

16. Their pep talks help you more than those of almost anyone else in your life.

17. They will never let you down when you need someone to get food with you, whether it’s a delicious brunch at noon or a Taco Bell run at two in the morning.

To all of my BFFs, thank you, thank you, a million times thank you! I wouldn’t want to adult (or attempt to adult) with anyone else by my side.

Except maybe Oprah.

How’s your health, girlfriend? (Your friends care!)

“Women in particular need to keep an eye on their physical and mental health, because if we’re scurrying to and from appointments and errands, we don’t have a lot of time to take care of ourselves. We need to do a better job of putting ourselves higher on our own ‘To Do’ lists.”  

—Michelle Obama

I have some pretty amazing women in my life. Like, really amazing. If you’re lucky enough to have a set of sister-friends, BFFs, partners-in-crime, confidants, and/or soul sisters like I do, you will no doubt go on living your every days and every nights with endless amounts of laughter, adventure, bear hugs, crazy shenanigans, support, and love. Months or years can go by without talking to them, but you can pick up right where you left off just as if you shared a cup of tea yesterday. That is the beauty of the unconditional love of our friends.

There are just some things that go unsaid about having close girlfriends; reminding each other never to get bangs again (ever!), supporting one another in their career pursuits, ugly TSwift car-karaoke sessions, Ryan Gosling movie marathons and proactively hitting the Chunky Monkey hardcore when one of you gets your heart broken.

You will go to the ends of the earth for your BFFs (or brave the aisles of that department store during their ‘Midnight Madness’ sale just to get that new pair of shoes). This also includes watching out for your girlfriends’ health.

August 1 is National Girlfriend’s Day. This is a day to celebrate the incredible women in our lives who make us laugh, make us smile, make us feel like our true selves and bring a little or a lot more joy in everything we do. This Saturday, and everyday, we women have to make a valiant effort to look out for one another. It’s what we do–right? And, as the quote at the top says, “We need to do a better job of putting ourselves higher on our ‘To Do’ lists.”

There are many things that you can do right now to help you and your girlfriends live a better and healthier life. It’s so very important to get regular checkups, stay on top of things like blood pressure, mammograms, cholesterol and preventative immunizations. The below from Oscar Health Insurance illustrates just some of the things you should be looking out for and doing on the regular. Oscar is passionate about their members staying proactive about their health, and have many tools right through their app to help make it easy. If you’re in the area, you can check our their individual health insurance plans in New Jersey and New York.

Oscar Women's Checkups

Being healthy is the shiznit. It really is.

That being said, of course it’s mandatory for you to indulge in those Friday night Appletinis every once in a while, those Netflix binging, nacho-eating, double-scoop-of-ice cream-splurges. Life is just way too damn short not to. But this being healthy thing isn’t so bad, either (and not just because you won’t wake up with a massive hangover the size of Texas the next day).

Here are just some of the ways you can celebrate National Girlfriends Day the right way, the healthy way, the dare I say, fun way!

1. So berry cool. There’s nothing better than biting into a juicy strawberry or blackberry on a hot summer’s day. grab a bucket and some gloves and get your berry-picking on! When you’re done, use them to bake a pie or sweet dessert (try these tasty berry shortcake recipes).

2. Beach it. Head to the beach and go for a walk, run or swim — with SPF, of course.

3. Swing irons. Head to the golf course and tee-up a few shots. If you’re not into golfing on a course, channel your inner Happy Gilmore and try mini-putting or even the driving range.

4. Be green. Ride your bike to your local farmer’s market, pick up some fresh foods and whip up a delicious eco-dinner together. (Tips to eat locally)

5. Kick back. Grab some magazines (or your favorite book) and read them while hanging out on your patio.

6. Donate your clothing. Go through your closets, try on each other’s clothes and set aside anything that doesn’t fit (or look good anymore!). Donate the clothing to local organizations, help those in need AND make room for that new LBD you’ve been eying.

7. Be artists for a day. Get a canvas and paint and create a work of art together

8. Sweat together. Go for a run or bike through your local park, go on a hike or hit the gym.

9. Go wine tasting. Register for a wine tasting class or go winery hopping at a few local wineries. Studies do show that a red wine has heart-healthy properties. Win-win.

20. Couch marathon. Sometimes the best thing you can do for your health is some serious chillaxing. Grab your girlfriends and Netflix the entire series of Sex in the City from start to finish (be sure to indulge and order takeout for dinner!).

Let’s all celebrate women and women’s health every day, so we have more days to spend shopping, ugly-dancing, road-tripping, laughing, smiling, living!

How to survive an LDR with your BFF


I am so very blessed to have such a great group of friends. If you’re talking about Squad Goals, I’m so on fleek! Some of these people I’ve known my whole life, surviving our awkward elementary and middle school years together, full of terrible fashion choices and even worse hair. (Remind me to never, ever let my dad cut my bangs again. Ever!) I’ve met a lot of my friends in college as we tried to navigate the late-night study sessions, awful dining hall food, and impossible professors; some I’ve met through work or church or simply by happenstance, a combination of serendipity and luck that brought us together forming a forever BFF bond.

Your friends can come into your life in all sorts of ways, but the one thing that is pretty much universal is the impact that they have on your life. They are the people who lift you up, who make you laugh, who inspire and motivate you. They’ve more often than not helped you get through the worst of the worst, and have celebrated the best of the best. They understand you like no one else, accepting you (and loving you even more) for your weird quirks and eccentricities.

One of the things that I value so much about my friends is that no matter how long it’s been since we’ve seen or spoken to each other, we’re able to pick up right where we left off, feeling as if time and distance were ain’t no thing but a chicken wing. Which is great because as my friends and I have gotten older, we no longer have the liberties of meeting up at the local diner for disco fries after school or having weekly Bachelorette viewing parties like we used to. While we still are very much a part of each other’s lives, we’ve begun to live our own, moving to different cities/states, careering it up and even starting families.

We’ve heard of the challenges that having a long distance relationship with our SOs can be, but what about those we have with our friends? How do we survive when the person who knows you best lives thousands of miles away? It can be hard not being able to rehash last night’s dating disaster in-person over Appletinis, but there are ways that can help make your BFF LDR a little more bearable.

1. Have regular phone dates. I know it may seem like a foreign concept, that act of using your phone for something other than updating your Instagram or dominating level 499 on Candy Crush. But that mobile texting machine that’s glued to your hip 24/7 also allows you to, wait for it…call someone. I know, right?! I try to schedule regular phone dates with my besties, giving each other life updates or just to simply talk about last night’s episode of New Girl. This whole adulting thing can make life pretty crazy sometimes with school, work and other responsibilities taking over, but that doesn’t mean your friendships have to suffer. If you’ve got five minutes on your drive home or while you wait for your Eggos to toast, pick up the phone and give our friends a call, even if it’s just to say “hi”. There is something to be said for hearing someone’s voice, especially after not having heard it for a while, that a text or instant message can’t replicate.

2. Send random texts to let them know you’re thinking about them. When you can’t call your friends, texting is a great option to stay connected. Sending random messages or pictures of things that remind you of your BFFs is not only a fun way to break up the mundane of a Monday, but it will bring a smile to their face and act as a replacement “you” when you can’t physically be there.

3. Use social media to your advantage. The best thing about social media in my opinion, besides being able to watch incredibly ridiculous but oh so cute dog videos on YouTube of course, is how all of these various mediums allow you to keep in touch with the people who mean the most to you. I Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram and Facebook my peeps on an always basis, sending messages, funny photos and links to incredibly ridiculous but oh so cute dog videos on YouTube. While these social media platforms are no replacement for the actual thing, being able to communicate and share special moments (an even the normal, average ones) with them whenever you want, wherever you want is pretty awesome.

4. But also remember how great snail mail is. I think we as a society have forgotten how great it really is to send and receive actual mail. I remember as a young girl, running out to the mailbox at the end of my driveway with anticipation, seeing that letter or package from a friend or family member. It was so personal and unique. You also knew that whoever sent it to you took the time to pick out the perfect card, the most beautiful wrapping paper, even taking into consideration the choice of stamps making it all the more meaningful. There really is magic and power in snail mail, which is why I try and send letters and small care packages to my friends every once in a while. It doesn’t have to be Christmas or their birthday; in fact, the more of a surprise it is, the better. Because as they go out to check their mail on that random Wednesday night after work, among the bills and grocery store flyers, they will find a little piece of you.

5. Reminisce about the past. One of the things my friends and I love to do whenever we talk or get together is remember all of the crazy shenanigans we had together (and there were a lot of them, let me tell you); moments that spurred side-splitting laugh attacks, inside jokes, and a lifetime of memories. Taking a walk down memory lane, the nostalgia of a lifetime of experiences has a way of making you feel closer to your BFF, even if miles and miles separate you. Plus, spending time reflecting on the past makes you even more anxious to start making even more of the same crazy shenanigan memories in the future.

6. And plan for the future. And that’s just what you should do! While it may not be feasible to visit each other on the regular, it’s most definitely possible and should be done as often as you can. Go to each other’s respective towns/cities or pick a location in the U.S. and meet each other there for a long weekend of crazy fun. The anticipation of seeing each other will also make the long months leading up to your visit a lot easier knowing that you have something incredible to look forward to. Plus, there’s nothing quite a long-awaited bestie bear hug.

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20 People You Will Meet (and Value) in Your Twenties


I turn twenty-eight in exactly 17 days (how did I get so old?!) and while technically I can still say I’m in my twenties, I’m inching ever so close to the big 3-0. For whatever reason, birthdays always make me kind of contemplative, reflecting on the past year while at the same time looking forward to what the next will bring. I believe your 20s are all about new experiences and deciding what people and things belong, and which ones don’t. Sometimes people come into your life and make it better. Other times, the people who enter make it a lot more challenging than it’s intended. Your job, if you choose to accept it, is to figure out the people who are vital to your well-being and the ones who you wouldn’t mind trading away for a slice of pizza.

  1. The Encouraging Professor

Hopefully, you’ve been lucky enough to have (or will have) a professor who will challenge you, support you and most importantly, prepare you for life outside the walls of your college or university. For me, it was my advisor and Psych Professor at UW-Stout. Dr. Biggerstaff had one of the biggest hearts of anyone I have ever known, but he also had the ability to see in others what they didn’t see in themselves. When I began college, I had no idea what I wanted to study, who I wanted to become. He helped me own my strengths and showed me the true potential that I had.

  1. Your Favorite TV Show/Book Character

Whether it’s George Costanza from Seinfeld or Hermione Granger from Harry Potter, this character will allow you to make it through awkward moments, tough days, and will serve as your spirit animal. “When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year,” to borrow lyrics from the Friends theme song, at least you can relate to these characters. They’ll help you clear your mind, even if it’s just for 30 minutes at a time.

  1. The Cool Boss

Work-life in your early 20s can be pretty miserable as you try to climb the ranks. Sometimes, it’s not any better in your late 20s, either. However, if you have a boss like I was lucky enough to have at the first job I landed when I first got to Colorado, a boss who knows how to nurture and help you grow professionally and socially, it will not only make you a better employee or business owner one day, but a better person.

  1. The Horrible Boss

Sometimes you have to learn by watching the way a person, who you don’t want to become, acts. If you’ve worked somewhere that you have felt useless, undervalued, and undercompensated—and I think unfortunately at some point, we all will experience some level of this–it’s almost as valuable, even though it’s a lot less enjoyable, as a good work experience. This way you’ll learn how to act and react to situations in a different manner.

  1. Your Parents

The dynamic between parent and child is always changing and growing. During your twenties, at least for me, you begin to see your parents as equals, people who were once in your position, going through the same things, experiencing the same challenges, successes and setbacks. You take on a whole other level of appreciation for the sacrifices they made for you growing up, the love, support, guidance and never-ending supply of hugs they provided. Your parents will start relying on you more heavily and you’ll continue to turn to them when you need help. Or you won’t. Regardless, you’ll have a much clearer picture of the people who shaped you into the person you are, whether you want to believe it or not. It will also help put your own life into perspective.

  1. Your Doctor

Your doctor is usually a person you take for granted, except when you need immediate help. When you’re healthy, you have no reason to think about medical professionals. As soon as you’re sick or injured (I’ve had more “oops that’s gonna leave a mark” moments more than I care to admit—I’m kinda very accident proned), it’s the only person you want to see. And yes even at 28, lollipop requests post-visit are perfectly acceptable.

  1. Your Favorite Bartender

What’s better than drinking on the weekend in your 20s? Funnily enough, I really didn’t start drinking until my late 20’s. But now that I responsibly kick back with a few cold ones, having a favorite bartender and not paying for all of your drinks on the weekend is pretty alright. When you start establishing your “spots” in whatever city you’re living in, you’ll begin finding drinking establishments that you really like. And if you’re tight with the bartender(s), you will always have a fun night out and may reap many benefits.

  1. The Friend Who Believes In You

There are friends who have your best interest in mind and then there are friends who have your best interest in mind in terms of how it relates to their life. The friend who supports your dreams, helps you reach your goals, and has an open channel of communication with you and expects nothing in return is a true friend. Your responsibility as a friend is to make sure you can reciprocate and do the same. If you’re lucky, this friend(s) will follow you into your thirties, forties, to infinity and beyond.

  1. The Negative Friend (aka Frenemy)

One of the best parts about growing up is that your parents don’t make play dates for you any longer. You decide the people you want in your life and the ones you don’t. If you’re having issues with a friend who constantly insults you or makes fun of you in front of others, acts as if he/she is better than you, or who finds the worst in every situation, you don’t need to stay friends with that person. Allow yourself to let go of toxic people.

  1. Your Haircutter

Your hairstylist’s main purpose may be cutting your hair, but they’re actually doing much more than that. They’re listening to you without judgment (or at least aren’t judging you to your face). You’ll come to learn that a haircutter is basically a therapist who makes you look good at the end of your visit. And if you’re lucky, they’ll even tell you when your locks are out of style and need a change.

  1. The Workers in Your Community

These people are your lifeline, whether you realize it or not. It’s the sandwich maker at your favorite lunch spot who knows what “the usual” means (extra tomatoes, pickles, hold the mayo) and the barista who prepares your drink (regular coffee with cream, sugar and just a touch of cinnamon) when you enter the coffee shop so you don’t have to wait for your necessary dose of caffeine in the morning. It’s the garbage men and women who clear your household trash and the plumber who rushes over to your home or apartment at 3 in the morning when a pipe bursts. These people have the ability to make your daily life pleasant or a lot more difficult than it needs to be.

  1. Your Mechanic

My tried teaching me all that I needed to know about cars—I’m proud to say that I can successfully change my own oil, a flat tire and know how to jump start a vehicle if the battery ever dies. There are however many, many things I still don’t know, which is where my mechanic comes in, often times sporting a red super hero cape (metaphorically speaking of course.) If you have a mechanic you trust and know will do the right thing by you with the work and pricing, don’t ruin that relationship. All you need to do is live a week without your car (especially in places without convenient public transportation) and you’ll see how dependent you are on your vehicle.

  1. The Decision Maker

I sometimes thingk life would be a whole lot easier if you could just flip a coin for all of those life-altering, crazy-hard decisions. Whenever you have a big choice to make on the horizon, you will undoubtedly see this person out of nowhere. When you have to decide: Do I keep my current job or start my own company? You’ll run into this person at the bagel store. If you’re trying to figure out: Should I settle down with my boyfriend/girlfriend? You’ll see this person waiting in line for dogs and a beer at a baseball game with thousands of other people in attendance. It’s as if they’re sent into your life at certain moments to make sure you don’t get in your own way. Value the randomness of this, as it truly may not be that random.

  1. Your Spouse (boyfriend/girlfriend) / (Some of) The People You’ll Date

Depending on whether you’re single, dating, engaged, married, or divorced, you’ve either found or are still searching for “your person”, the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Sometimes it’s the people we marry who make us better versions of ourselves. Other times, it’s the ones we leave. As you continue through your 20s, this may or not make sense (something I’m still trying to figure out myself), but when it does, cherish that information.

  1. Your Accountant/Financial Advisor

The moment I truly felt like an adult was the moment I filled out my first application for my 401K. It’s easy to not think about the future when it comes to money and financial security, but something I’ve come to learn in my twenties, something that you will soon come to learn if you haven’t already, is that there is never a “too soon” to begin preparing for your future. A good accountant and financial advisor, whether that be a parent, a spouse, or someone with an official title, they have the ability to help you prepare for your future, as well as come up with a plan for the present.

  1. Your Mentor

This person is someone you feel comfortable with, someone who you trust and has proven time and time again that he/she has your best interests in mind, based on the many different trials and tribulations you’ve faced together. This person serves as a role model and also guides you with any major professional or life questions you have. I’ve got an arsenal of mentors on the ready for when I need them most; friends, my parents, my sister and a host of others. A good mentor in your life, especially in your twenties, is invaluable.

  1. Your Four-Legged and Furry Friend

Okay, so they may not technically be considered “people”, but that doesn’t mean that they are any less important or significant. Whether you have a cat or dog, these amazing animals have an innate ability to make you feel better after a rough day with just a simple purr or tail wag. Their unconditional love is unwavering and are there to help you get through the most trying times in your twenties, as well as be with you to celebrate the victories.

  1. Your Roommate

Whether it’s a person off Craigslist or a friend, your roommate will see when you’re suffering or succeeding. They’ll be able to help you through dark times or make your life much harder than it should be. You and your roommate(s) will learn intimate information about each other, such as who routinely has one-night stands (with the pint of Ben & Jerry’s), who never has the rent check ready at the end of the month, who is messy, as well as who destroys the toilet when he/she wakes up in the morning. Before you sign a lease, beware of the person you’re living with.

  1. The Friend of a Friend

Your social network (not talking about the Facebooks and Twitters of the world, but IRL networks) will continue to grow as you age, even if you choose the people you spend time with more carefully. At birthday parties, weddings, or basically any special occasion, you’ll meet friends of your friends and most of them you’ll tolerate or possibly even like, but never see again. However, there will be at least a few friends of friends that you’ll become extremely close with and they’ll end up becoming your best friends or at least very important people in your life.

  1. The Ones Who Are No Longer With Us

I’ve unfortunately lost people whom I loved very much over the past 8 or so years, but just because they are gone, it doesn’t mean that they left completely. There will be people who we lose over our lifetime, as teenagers, in our twenties, and as we get older, but I believe that these people will in some way always have an effect on us, some leaving a lasting impression more than others. Whether it’s a dearly departed friend, family member or even personal hero whose work you admire, just because you can’t see and/or touch something or someone, it doesn’t mean that they can’t be an internal source of power and strength for you. I’m inspired by my dear grandmother every time I pick up a book or help a student in the library (she was the person who instilled in me my passion for reading) and get courage from my cousin Nick whenever Bob Marley’s “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” comes on to the radio (he lived a life with no regrets, something I need to remind myself to live as well every once in a while).

We also can’t forget about the ability that we have to change our own lives, as well as the lives of others. As Mahatma Gandhi, a person much wiser than myself, once said, “You must be the change that you wish to see in the world.”

Life lessons from Elaine Benes

Seinfeld is, to this day, the greatest sitcom that was or ever will be on television (anyone who thinks otherwise is completely bonkers).  I could go on and on about what made it the epitome of amazing; the nothingness that was actually everything, the cooky and sometimes ridiculous but always endearing relationship dynamics, the humor in the mundane and the ultimate relatablility factor.

Not a day goes by that I don’t stop and think to myself, “yep, I totally just pulled a Costanza.”

Of course with a zany cast of characters like Jerry, George and “Kozmo” Kramer, you are bound to get your fill of belly laughs and ROTFLs. However the real breakout of the show, the crazy glue that held the even crazier gaggle of friends together, the person who will forever be my girl crush? The one and only Elaine Benes.

Of course when Seinfeld was originally on the air back in the early 90’s, I was far too young to fully appreciate the show and the magnitude of awesomeness that it held. As I binge watch the show (on the regular) now as an independent and quirky 20-something young woman, I can fully appreciate and understand not only the ridiculous comic genius of the show, but also how truly kick-ass the character of Elaine Benes was.

Here are just some of the life-lessons I have learned from Miss Benes.

11. You will inevitably do things in life that will royally embarrass yourself. (If you’re like me, this pretty much happens on a daily basis.) Did you put your shirt on inside-out…again? Walk out of the restaurant restroom with toilet paper stuck to the bottom of your shoe? Get caught karaoking in your car to some T-Swift? No worries at all. It happens to everyone.  The key to owning your “oops” moments is to laugh, laugh, laugh it off.


10. Sometimes the best thing to do in an awkward situation is to just smile and nod, smile and nod.


9. Know your priorities in life and don’t be afraid to stick to your guns.


8. Dance like no one is watching, especially when you have mad-skills like this.

7. Accept that there may be some things that you will never fully understand.


6. Always be on the quest for answers to the deep, philosophical questions in life.


5. Never leave the house hangry.


4. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

3. Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you and value the relationships/friendships you have.


2. Never underestimate the power of comedic timing.


And most importantly…

1. Live a life that is full of excitement, laughter, joy and love.

To my fictional forever bestie, I salute you.

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12 reasons why every girl should have a guy best friend


Girls, you know we will always have our girlfriends, our gal-pals and BFFs. And you also know that guys will come and go in our lives, often times more than once. However, if you’re lucky enough to have a male bestie (or a few), you know that there is something special about that relationship, something that any other one–whether it be with your sister, your mom, your college roommate or best friend since elementary school–can’t quite compare to.

What do I mean by that? Well here are just a few reasons why every girl should have a guy best friend (besides the fact that they’re just the best, that is).

1. Your guy bestie definitely has the upper hand when it comes to relationship or dude advice. He’s a dude himself therefore he knows how his kind think. Use his power to your advantage! But always be sure to offer your advice when it comes to girl world when he needs it.

2. When all of your girlfriends are dieting, you can rely on him to be right there next to you, regretlessly indulging in that cheeseburger/pizza/taco/ice cream fest–even if it’s you who ends up eating most of it.

3. After said indulge fest, there is no need to hide back that belch that’s been brewing. That bean burrito got you feeling a little gassy? As Elsa so famously once said sang, “Let it, go. LET IT, GO!”  There is pretty much an unspoken rule when hanging with your guy bestie that any and all farts/wickedly impressive belches are welcomed and encouraged.

4. Having a guy best friend means having a built-in body guard of sorts. You can take comfort in knowing that if your heart gets broken, he will be the first to grab the carton of eggs and go all yolky on your heartbreaker’s car. In fact, if anything happened to you, he would jump at making the perpetrator pay for their actions (or at least be there with a giant bear hug afterwards).

5. Since [most] guys are less sympathetic to feelings, they won’t be afraid to tell you that you look amazing in that new crop top and jeans. Likewise, they will be upfront with you when you look like a hot mess.

6. When certain sports aren’t your thing, he will sit you down and explain the game to you—after he calls you stupid for not knowing what a drop pass is.

7. Even if there are miles and miles separating you two, distance is never really a problem because let’s face it, he sucks at texting anyway. A phone call once or twice a month, a silly Facebook post or an Instagramed picture of a weasel riding a woodpecker that he tagged you in keeps your friendship just as strong.


8. The biggest fight you will likely ever have is who can quote more lines from Dumb and Dumber.“Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world? Just in case you were wondering…it’s me.

9. When it’s time to move into that new apartment of yours, you’ll have an extra set of hands to help move all of your prized possessions crap—or to just do all of the work.

10. Boys generally hate gossip so if you have something super juicy that you just can’t hold in anymore, he is the perfect person to spill your guts to. One, he won’t give a monkey’s second cousin that Carol from your office is secretly dating her boss and two, he’s going to forget everything you just said in ten minutes anyway.

11. Along the same lines, guys typically say A LOT less than your girlfriends so if you’re just having one of those meh days and don’t feel like talking to anyone, he will be there to just sit with you. He won’t ask questions but will hang out with you, pop in one of your fave movies and simply help keep you company.

11. He is your go-to adventure buddy. Hiking, camping, rock climbing, basically anything involving dirt, grime, danger and FUN, he is your partner in crime. He’s also the one to kill that spider the size of a small human that just crawled up on your leg.

12. Your guy best friend is sarcastic, funny and can be a smart ass from time to time (*read ALL OF THE TIME). But he’s also sweet, kind and has one of the biggest hearts of anyone you’ve ever known. He’d go to the end of the Earth and back again to make sure you were happy and you know you would do the same thing for him (except on Monday nights because The Bachelor.)

I so deeply cherish the friendships I have with all of my girlfriends, but there are specific situations where you just need a guy or a male’s perspective, you know? Having this best friend in your life is such a blessing and is one that you should never look past, or take for granted, because even if he makes fun of you and pesters you like a little/older brother, which he will on the regular, his reason is just to see you smile.

To all of my guy BFFs, thank you. I love you. You owe me a cheeseburger.

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