My Awesomely Random Life (and Everything in Between)

Posts tagged ‘reading’

Confessions of a Booknerd

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My name is Wendi, and I am probably most definitely absolutely 110% the biggest booknerd you will ever meet.

*And damn proud of it, my friends!

When it comes to reading, I’m Tom Hanks at Denny’s right after he got off that island with Wilson. I’ll read almost anything and everything–mysteries, serious literary fiction, fluffy chic-lit fiction, biographies, memoirs, and of course one of my favorite genres, young adult fiction. I’d like to think of myself as a flexible, curious reader, always looking to learn something, feel something and discover something new.

That being said however, I do have a few quirky reading habits that I just can’t seem to shake.

And I know I’m not the only one—Joey, I’m looking at you buddy.

These eccentricities just go to show that reading is such an intensely personal activity; no one person does it the same way.

Here are just a few of the things I find myself doing when I’m knee-deep in a good page-turner.

  1. Before I actually dive into a good book, I always read the very first sentence and the very last.

When I shared this little quirk of mine with the librarian who I work with, she was a teensy bit horrified. What about the potential for spoilers? I get what’s she putting down, I do. But for me, reading the last sentence gives me just a hint of what’s to come, and piques my interest to find out how it fits in with the beginning of the book. I’m very careful to read only the very last sentence, and I try to avoid looking elsewhere on the page. There’s something suspenseful and thrilling about peeking ahead—but only just a little bit.

And you thought reading wasn’t badass.

The one time I can remember this backfiring on me is with the J.D. Salinger short story, “A Perfect Day for Bananafish.” If you’ve read the story, you understand.

  1. I hate folding down the page corners of a book.

Hate it! I will try to McGyver a bookmark out of just about anything before taking the drastic step to dog-ear a page; old receipts, a penny, a bobbi pin, even a butter knife (don’t ask).

  1. I also hate it when books get reinvented, new and flashy covers.

Some are more heartbreaking than others, like when the Harry Potter series was updated. The new covers seemed so strange and foreign to me; it was almost like it was a completely different book. The first edition I own or read will always be the best. No special new editions for this girl.

  1. I will go out of my way to get the hard cover versions of a book, even if I already own it in paperback or on my Nook.

There is just something about a hard cover; it’s hard binding, it’s strength, it’s durability. Just thinking about one gets me all flushed. Some Many Most think I’m crazy-sauce for buying a book if I already have it. But it’s kind of the same thing as buying that second pair of identical jeans that you’ve already got hanging in your closet, right? Which reminds me, I need to buy more jeans. As you can imagine, I am beginning to accumulate a lot of books. A lot of books.

  1. And finally, I love when books have a price sticker on the back of the cover that you can peel off.

My favorite local bookstore when I was a kid had those types of labels, and I loved bringing home a new book and peeling off the sticker. This childhood ritual has manifested itself in other areas of my life — I also love peeling the plastic protective sheet off of electronic devices and the labels off of water bottles. And don’t even get me started on those little stickers that come on your apples or bananas! I know, I don’t really get it either.

But we all have our little quirks, don’t we?

Question of the day: Do you have any unique quirks, reading or otherwise?

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Libraries are the New Black

As someone who grew up the biggest of the book nerds (shout out to all of my fellow wicked readers!), I naturally spent a lot of time in the library.

A. Lot.

I was the Norm of my local library. Everyone knew my name, they new my favorite go-to reads, and didn’t mind in the slightest on those occasions when they’d have to kick me out. Or at least I don’t think they did. Funny story: I actually almost got locked inside a library once. Closing time came and went and I was so transfixed in the book I was reading that I didn’t even notice the lights were shutting off and the doors were closing. But I mean, being locked in a building FULL of books would be my version of gangster’s booknerd paradise. Basically.

To this day, I’m a regular frequenter of the public library. Libraries in fact. If you were to open my wallet you would find no less than 12 different library cards. Confession: the very first thing I did when I moved to Denver, before changing my mailing address, before getting my new driver’s license, before I found a bank was get hooked up with my library[ies].

Priorities, people.

The truth is, libraries are pretty damn spectacular. Forget Orange; libraries are the new black, yo!

Not that I’m biased or anything.

There are so many reasons why you should be spending some QT with your local library (if you aren’t already), whether you’re 8 or 80, and it’s high time to rediscover exactly what makes these book homes so perfectly perfect.

They’re Stacked!

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The number one best thing about libraries? They have just all of the books!!! And who wouldn’t want to hang out where they keep just all of the books? Crazy people, that’s who. I don’t want name names, but KAREN I’M TALKING TO YOU, KAREN!

It’s Quiet

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Sometimes, you just a bit of respite from everyday life. One of the greatest things about libraries is that they’re peaceful. And quiet. So pick out your fave book or magazine, pop a squat in one of those oversized comfy couches and take a mini brain vaca for an hour or five. Just keep an eye on the time–you wouldn’t want to get locked in. Or would you? I like the way you think. SEE KAREN, THIS IS HOW IT’S DONE!

The Kick-Ass Librarians

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Y’all, librarians are pretty much the coolest people you will ever meet. Not that I’m biased or anything. They’re super friendly, know a whole bunch about everything, and are always willing to give you a helping hand when trying to find your next fave read or when looking information up. Unless you librarian is Tammy 2, in which case, RUN! *Wait. Karen, is that you??!!

You Can Read For Free

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Usually–okay, every damn time–when I walk into a bookstore, my bank account starts crying because it knows there are about to be some serious dollars shed. The great thing about a library is you can check out as many books as your little heart desires, FOR FREE. I don’t know about you, but I’m a big fan of free. Huge!

You’ll Feel Productive

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There’s just something about a library that inspires feelings of productivity, whether it’s your university’s beautiful study spot or your town’s local branch. For those times when you really need to crack down and get some things checked off the ‘ol to-do list (or your TBR list) the library is the place to go!

You’ll Be Surrounded By Other People Who Love Books

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Just knowing that you’re near fellow book-lovers is good enough reason to hit up the library. I always feel like I’m Olive Gardening it whenever I walk into the library—after all, when you’re here, you’re family. Dammit. Now I want breadsticks.

You Might Have (Or You Can At Least Imagine Having) An Epic Book Romance

Is that a copy of Lord of the Rings in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? What a better place to meet an attractive stranger, than surrounded by shelves of books? Imagine: you both reach for the same copy of The Hobbit and suddenly it’s love at first we-like-the-same-books.

It Will Remind You of Your Childhood

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If you, like me, spent many an hour in the library as a kiddo, picking out stacks and stacks (and stacks!) of books, you’ll get a rush of nostalgia when you go back. If the library was one of your fave places too, why not relive those great memories?

You Can Live Out Your Inner Belle Fantasies

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If you were a book-lover growing up, and you love Disney, one of your fave Disney princesses was most likely Belle. And you may or may not have rewound your VHS to watch the library scene a million kajillion times. Why not take this opportunity to relive that magic? From personal experience, might I recommend keeping the singing to a minimum.

They’re Full of History

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Some libraries have been around a really long time, which you’ll discover as you flip through some of the books. 10 points to Gryffindor if you check out aged hardcovers with yellowing pages and library stamp cards in the front. Doesn’t it make you wonder exactly who checked out that book before you? Who thumbed through the pages, reading the very same words that  you’re now reading? Everything is a story, people!

There Are Some Super Amazing Libraries Out There

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One of the things I love to do when traveling is check out the city or town’s libraries. Some of my favorites have been the New York Public Library, the Chicago Public Library and the Charleston Public Library. Each have their own flavor, their own vibe, their own stories to tell (pun intended). Not to mention they are drop dead gorgeous! You should definitely go to this library. And this one. And these. And FOR SURE book some plane tickets, because these are all stunning.

Libraries, guys.

They’re the been knees.

Not that I’m biased or anything.

 

 

 

8 signs you may suffer from low SHELF-esteem

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One of my favorite things to do on a Sunday morning is take my current book (s) du jour and hit up a local coffee shop, enjoying my latest page-turner with a cup (or three) of freshly brewed java and bagel doughnut anything made with just all of the gluten. If I’m lucky (and the weather is cooperating with me), I’ll grab a table outside and hunker down for a few glorious hours.

On one such morning a few weeks ago, I was approached by a man rocking a pretty spectacular fedora who wanted to know what I was reading. Now to preface this, I’d like to point out that I am an equal opportunity reader. I like to dabble in all genres by all kinds of authors. I’m talking mysteries and young adult to non-fiction and the literary classics. My book rolodex runs the gamut! On this particular day, I just happened to be indulging in some chick-lit (if you haven’t read One Plus One by Jojo Moyes, you need to! Like, yesterday). When I told this man what my book of choice was, he kind of gave me a kind of snooty, hoity toity sneer, his nose turned up like he just got a serious whiff of sweaty gym socks.

“Hmph,” he said as he turned back to his table. “I’m more of a literary purist.” That’s when I noticed the book he happened to have in his hands: Proust’s Remembrance of Things Past. I’m not gonna lie; I felt my face turning a bright shade of red, slightly embarrassed by my apparent lack of bookish intelligence. Should I be dabbling in these philosophical, historical, meaningful [and ridiculously hard to understand] books too? Am I wasting my time and energy (and ridiculously high level of brain power) on mere chick-lit?

Now, I’m not a psychologist (actually, I’m a librarian which makes things even more confusing. I mean, I am in the business of books after all). I have however been a teenage girl (’nuff said) and definitely noticed that since my crimped hair and Hanson-listening days of middle school, those who scream the loudest about how great they are, are usually the people who are just compensating for actual lack.

This can be applied to many areas of life; school, work, the sports teams you cheer for, and even the kind of beer you drink. The more self-conscious you feel about a certain aspect of your life, the more likely you are to overcompensate for those things/skills/abilities/talents that you think you lack. What I’ve recently discovered is that is also can be apparent in the world of books. Generally speaking, those who are worried about their intelligence level (or lack there of) feel the need to prove their smarts in ways that actual intellects don’t. They suffer from very low shelf-esteem.

Mr. Fedora, I’m talking to you buddy.

Signs that you too may be suffering from a bad case of low shelf-esteem include:

1.You mention what you are reading, but make sure to tell people who your REAL favorite author is (typically someone who’s tres “important”).

“I mean, yeah I’m reading this now, but I usually stick to anything and everything written by Hemingway.

*J.K. Rowling is my girl!

2. You make excuses for what you are reading.

“Oh this thing? Yeah, I only started reading it because…my dog ate my copy of War & Peace.”

*Definitely reading The DaVinci Code, again, because so good, right?!

3. You don’t tell your friends what you’re reading, because you’re intimidated that they read “more important” things than you.

“I’m uhh, well I, it’s actually…but enough about me. What are you reading?”

*Twilight, okay?! I’m reading Twilight!!

4. You nod along when people talk intelligently about dead Russian white guys that you don’t really know anything about…instead of being honest about not knowing.

“Oh yeah. He was the one who wrote that book about that thing that happened a long time ago in that one place, right? Sooooo good!”

*Yep. Nope. I have no idea who you are talking about.

5. You have a fake favorite book for when people ask you what your favorite book is.

“My fave book is totally The Sound and The Fury by Faulkner. Obviously.

*HARRY POTTER! HARRY POTTER! HARRY POTTER!!!!!

6. You keep something fancy on the coffeetable for guests to notice.

“Oh these old things? Yeah they’re just the complete set of Tolstoy’s greatest works. The printed originals. In three different translations. No biggy.”

*Copies I got at a garage sale for $.50 each because they looked neat.

7. You won’t get rid of books you hated because you want people who come over to see that you’ve read them.

“Wow! Of Mice and Men? Crime and Punishment? Anna Karenina? Impressive shelves, girl!”

*Yeahhhh….about those….not a big fan. In fact, I couldn’t finish any of them because I kept falling asleep.

8. You make blanket statements about which kinds of books are bad without actually reading them.

“Pshhh. Comic books are soooo 2014.”

*Comic books are sooo 2015 and I can marry Thor please and thank you.

As I mentioned before, everyone has their reading preferences. I am not ashamed to admit that I love a good tear-jerker, mushy-gushy love story. I think I’ve single-handedly supported the stock in Kleenex for the number of Nicholas Sparks’ books that adorn my bookshelf alone. There’s nothing wrong with reading what you want to read. Ever.

Just because you choose not to read the difficult, heady or highbrow novels all the time (or any time) doesn’t mean that you are in any way less smart or intelligent. In fact, it probably means that you are confident enough in your self shelf to read what you want, to not be intimidated in any way by judgy McJudgsters who feel your reading is not up to snuff. Be proud of what you read and own your interests no matter what anyone says.

So to Mr. Fedora, I would just like to say, “Yes I am reading the chickiest of chick-lit books and yes it is amazing (and yes I could use a tissue, thank you). So you can just take your Proust and shove it (but not really because that actually is an incredible book and can I borrow it when you’re done?)

Confessions from a quirky reader

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My name is Wendi Hansen, and I am a booknerd.

And damn proud of it, my friends!

When it comes to reading, I’m Tom Hanks at Denny’s right after he got off that island with Wilson. I’ll read almost anything and everything–mysteries, serious literary fiction, fluffy chic-lit fiction, biographies, memoirs, and of course one of my favorite genres, young adult fiction. I’d like to think of myself as a flexible, curious reader, always looking to learn something, feel something and discover something new.

That being said however, I do have a few quirky reading habits that I just can’t seem to shake [shake, shake, shake it off].

And I know I’m not the only one—Joey, I’m looking at you buddy, putting The Shining in the freezer.

These eccentricities just go to show that reading is such an intensely personal activity; no one person does it the same way.

Here are just a few of the things I find myself doing when I’m knee-deep in a good page-turner.

1. Before I actually dive into a good book, I always read the very first sentence and the very last.

When I shared this little quirk of mine with the librarian who I work with, she a teensy bit horrified. What about the potential for spoilers? I get what’s she putting down, I do. But for me, reading the last sentence gives me just a hint of what’s to come, and piques my interest to find out how it fits in with the beginning of the book. I’m very careful to read only the very last sentence, and I try to avoid looking elsewhere on the page. There’s something suspenseful and thrilling about peeking ahead—but only just a little bit.

And you thought reading wasn’t badass.

The one time I can remember this backfiring on me is with the J.D. Salinger short story, “A Perfect Day for Bananafish.” If you’ve read the story, you understand.

2. I hate folding down the page corners of a book.

Hate it! I will try to McGyver a bookmark out of just about anything before taking the drastic step to dog-ear a page; old receipts, a penny, a bobbi pin, even a butter knife (don’t ask).

3. I also hate it when books get reinvented, new and flashy covers.

Some are more heartbreaking than others, like when the Harry Potter series was updated. The new covers seemed so strange and foreign to me; it was almost like it was a completely different book. The first edition I own or read will always be the best. No special new editions for this girl.

4. I will go out of my way to get the hard cover versions of a book, even if I already own it in paperback or on my Nook.

There is just something about a hard cover; it’s hard binding, it’s strength, it’s durability. Just thinking about one gets me all flushed. Some Many Most think I’m crazy-sauce for buying a book if I already have it. But it’s kind of the same thing as buying that second pair of identical jeans that you’ve already got hanging in your closet, right? Which reminds me, I need to buy more jeans. As you can imagine, I am beginning to accumulate a lot of books. A lot of books.

5. And finally, I love when books have a price sticker on the back of the cover that you can peel off.

My favorite local bookstore when I was a kid had those types of labels, and I loved bringing home a new book and peeling off the sticker. This childhood ritual has manifested itself in other areas of my life — I also love peeling the plastic protective sheet off of electronic devices and the labels off of water bottles. And don’t even get me started on those little stickers that come on your apples or bananas! I know, I don’t really get it either.

But we all have our little quirks, don’t we?

Question of the day: Do you have any unique quirks, reading or otherwise?

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You’ll always be in “the mood” to read these great books!

You know you’ve read a good book when you turn the last page and feel a little as if you have lost a friend. –Paul Sweeney

What’s the last book that moved you? Like, really moved you? That made you laugh or cry or completely reconsider your thoughts on life or love? Those are always the books that stick with me. When I come across a book that truly impacted me I can often remember the intricate details of where I bought it or who gave it to me.  Sometimes when I’m in a certain mood, reading a favorite book can help heighten the depth of emotion, whatever I may be feeling at that moment.

Just one of the many, many reasons why books are just all of the best.

Speaking of which, here are a few great books and the perfect kind of mood to read them in.

*This in by no means is a comprehensive list, and it was tres hard for me to just pick one (or a couple) for each mood, but it’s something to get you started 😉

1. When you want to feel all the feels.

Me Before You by: Jojo Moyes

Will and Louisa are two lost souls who are brought together under difficult circumstances.

Will was an adrenaline junkie (i.e., mountain climbing, paragliding, skiing) with a high-powered job. A terrible accident two years ago left him paralyzed from the chest down. He now requires round-the-clock care. He is broken and bitter and hates his life.Louisa (Lou) is a small-town girl who just lost her job at The Buttered Bun. With limited skills, she tries various jobs, but can’t find anything she likes. Her job counselor suggests she go to this interview for a care assistant. She gets the job, but immediately starts to regret her decision. Will is not an easy man to work for, but the money is good (and her family needs it) so she decides to stick it out. From there, a relationship builds slowly and believably and blossoms into a beautiful love story.

Yes, this is a romance but not in the normal typical sense. This is a romance in normal life terms, it is messy and confusing and doesn’t go the way you would think it would. JoJo Moyes brings her characters to life in a most believeable way and writes a book that can make you laugh out loud and ugly cry within a few chapters of itself. It wasn’t a fairytale, it didn’t involve any make believe; it was true to the story, a story that I think will stick with you long after you turn that last page.

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2. When you want to buy a one-way ticket and never look back.

The Lost Girls by: Jennifer Baggett, Holly C. Corbett and Amanda Pressner

At age 28 and climbing the corporate ladder in the Big Apple, BFFs Jen, Holly, and Amanda decide to quit their jobs and travel around the world for a year. I enjoyed every minute of their trek to off-the-beaten path destinations and the friendships and hardships they had along the way. I also loved the fact that their journey did not wrap up tidy with a bow on top- they did not necessarily “find” themselves during this year, but instead got to know each other–and themselves–in a completely different and new way. Their friendship, dedication, and sacrificial love towards each other is beautiful and just all of the amazing. After having finished this book, the first thing I wanted to do was call my besties and plan the trip of a lifetime.

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3. When you feel like no one understands you.

The Opposite of Lonely by: Marina Keegan

The Opposite of Loneliness is a collection of fiction and non-fiction tales by Marina Keegan, a very promising young writer who tragically lost her life in a car accident. The title comes from an essay that she wrote where she talks about how all she wants in her life is to feel the opposite of lonely, a term which we really do not have a word for. That essay really helps to set the tone for this fantastic book.

This collection of stories, both fiction and non-fiction, (I never read short stories) is incredible! It’s definitely not for everyone, But, as a 20-something millennial who is still trying to figure out what the hell is life… it was perfect. Marina’s insights into what it’s like to be not know the direction your life is taking you, to feel as though no one truly understands you… it’s enough to make you stay up until 4am in deep, deep thought (which I did). She has this way of putting all of your inner emotions and thoughts, ones you didn’t even know you had, into words. It’s ironic then, that by the end of this book, you don’t feel so alone.

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4. When you’re not sure if you’re doing that great at this whole adult thing.

Hyperbole and a Half by: Allie Brosh

I’ve been a fan of Allie’s blog for a long time which was why I was so super excited to hear that she published a book containing all of her zany and hil-ARious stories and anecdotes. These stories are funny and touching and are illustrated in a way that will make you LOL (which is why I recommend not reading it while at work). One story in particular which she titled This is Why I’ll Never be an Adult pretty much defines my adult experience. I don’t know about you, but I always start out with the best of intentions and just get thrown by the necessity of persisting with those boring chores in order to count as an “adult.” I’m not sure if this book answered whether or not I am in all actuality a full-fledged adult, but it did make me feel that there are other adults out there who are as confused and strange as I am.

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5. When you’re waiting for that person to text you back but they haven’t texted back and now you’re re-examining everything.

Looking For Alaska by: John Green

Looking for Alaska is the debut novel of one of my (and everyone’s) favorite author, John Green. It’s not the most typical Young-Adult novel as it stays away from the usual Boy-Meets-Girl cliché. This is a book which will make you think about the difference between living and existing, and deepen your thoughts on love and life in general. Much like Green’s other books (The Fault in Our Stars and Paper Towns, I’m talking to you), this book will leave you jam-packed with emotions. I personally couldn’t love this book more, as it depicted young love and coming of age in the most honest and truthful way, and I really felt the emotional connection that this book was meant to achieve.

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6. When you need a good pee-your-pants, ab-inducing laugh attack.

Yes Please by: Amy Poehler

All hail, Queen Poehler.

No. But seriously. Can someone make that happen?

What we wanted was an afternoon with our best friend and we got that and so much more. Amy Poehler is witty and honest. She admits her faults and is humble when she talks about her good doings. She hit the ground running in comedy and she never looked back and I love being able to take a peek, not only into her career, but into her life. Queen Poehler is basically my spirit animal. She was raised in a supportive family, found her calling in life early and worked her ass off to get to where she is today. She is the perfect feminist mentor without even trying to be one. You will definitely laugh your socks off while reading this poignant look into miss Poehler’s life and career, but you will also be moved and inspired.

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7. When you need a reminder of how awesome your gal pals are.

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants by: Ann Brashares

I first read these books when I was rocking the scrunchies and stirrup leggings back in middle school, but I still love them to all end. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants follows a group of friends Carmen, Lena, Tibby and Bridget as they spend their summers apart. The day before they part ways, they find a pair of pants that fit them all perfectly. What is this madness, you say? Thus begins the journey of the Pants from D.C to Santorini, Greece, Charleston, Baja, California and back. The girls experience an unforgettable summer and only the Pants know everything.


This is my sort of YA book. It’s messy and complicated and funny and smart and honest and real. It’s about friendship and family and love. It’s about deciding what’s important to you and never losing sight of that, no matter how much other things get in the way. It’s about life.This is something like my tenth time rereading (I recommend starting with the first book of the series and finishing off with the last one, The Last Summer of You and Me). This book proves that real life isn’t boring, but joyous and painful and mistake-prone and beautiful and achingly real.

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10. When it’s a Tuesday. Or a Sunday. When you’re wearing pants. Or not. Pretty much classified as an all-the-frickin-time read.

Harry Potter by: J.K. Rowling

Because, duh.

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With a list like this, you most definitely cannot tell me that you’re not “in the mood” to read 😉

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Book Ending Crankerdom

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I’ve basically hated the endings of the last few books I’ve read, and I am cranky about it. Like being stuck in bumper to bumper traffic cranky. Like not having eaten in five hours cranky. Like being stuck in traffic WHILE also being hungry hangry cranky. I don’t know what your maximum capacity for crankerdom is, but I’m just about hitting the ceiling on mine.

Let me clarify my stance on endings. I don’t need them to be happy. I’m actually not the number one fan of happy endings, because with the kinds of complicated stories I kind of gravitate towards, a truly happy ending, more often than not, feels oversimplified and tacked on.  I don’t want all the strings hanging loose at the end, but I equally don’t want all those strings tied up into neat and pretty birthday package bows. I don’t live in a world of bows (or at least, I don’t live in a world that’s ONLY bows) and I want to see the irony and tragedy of life reflected on the page in a way that’s at once both familiar and surprising.

OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR?!

Phew. Sorry guys. I told you.

Major crankerdom.

I don’t care that I’m basically the Veruca Salt of Readers, I want my mindblowing ending and I WANT IT NOW.

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So I don’t need my endings to be happy. What I do need them to be is satisfying. For some people, a satisfying ending is synonymous with a happy one. Fans of the romance genre expect their endings to be happy, and rightfully so. Happy endings are a component of that genre, fans feel cheated if they don’t get to see Fabio carry off his lady into the sunset at the end.

But romance isn’t my genre. My genre is literary fiction (and narrative non-fiction, and YA that skews literary, and, okay, I have a lot of genres, but the genre that this crankmonster rant-growling focuses on is literary fiction).

For me, a satisfying ending is when a dramatic question has been thoroughly explored throughout the course of a story (Can Anna Karenina find happiness with Count Vronsky? Can Peter Pan convince the Darling children to stay with him in Neverland? Can Hamlet avenge his father’s death?) and an answer that makes sense has been reached. Often the answer to the dramatic question in question is NO, because it was always SUPPOSED to be NO. It’s not the ending that feels GOOD, but it is the ending that feels RIGHT. If Anna ran off with Vronsky with no consequences, if the Darling children stayed in Neverland forever, if Hamlet was just like “To heck and an handbag with this Elsinore noise, I’m getting out of this crazy castle and maybe also Denmark,” yes, those characters might be happier, but we the readers wouldn’t. At least I as a reader wouldn’t. I’d feel like the honest, hard, sad ending was ripped off the end of the story and replaced with the tail of a different species of book. The story would no longer feel like its own animal. It would feel Frankensteined, and we all know what happened to Frankenstein (he murders a bunch of people and then moves to the North Pole).

That’s been my problem with the endings of the last few books I’ve read. They don’t feel like the inevitable endings of these stories, what I believe, within the world the author has set up in the beginning and developed in the middle, would really happen. They feel like “This book is about to end so I better wrap things up, okay, the conflict that had been going on the entire book is resolved and the characters that were in danger aren’t anymore and, okay, we’re done.”

These endings don’t work for ME, but I’ve talked to people about the books in question for whom these endings absolutely work. So I don’t know. Maybe I am just nothing but a cuddly as a cactus, charming as an eel Last Page Grinch. I might just be too picky about my endings. But usually, the reason I’m so hard on endings is because I loved the beginning/middle of the book in question SO GOSHDARN MUCH!

My real problem isn’t that I hate these endings, but that hating these endings makes me hate the entire book even if I loved the beginning and middle. And that’s not fair. An awesome two-thirds of the book shouldn’t lose to the lame last third, a rockstar three-quarters shouldn’t lose to the disappointing last quarter, but they do, for me, once I get pissed about an ending, it’s just so hard for me to love the beginning and middle in the same way.

What about you guys? How does a disappointing/unsatisfying affect you? Are you like “Cool, whatever, brah” or are you like “RRRRAAUUUUGGGGHHH!”

Tell a girl a story.

10 Things You Won’t Ever Hear a Book Nerd Say

10 Things You Won’t Ever Hear a Book Nerd Say

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1. “I don’t know what I want for Christmas/birthday/insert random holiday here.”

Because obviously the answer is books. Books, books, and more books. Or at least some sweet gift cards to a bookstore.

2. “I really thought the movie was better than the book.”

This isn’t a thing that happens. Ever. And it does, I will personally bake and send you some of my world famous (I’ve got lots of references, mostly me) chocolate-chip cookies.

3. “Ugh. I’m so bored. There’s like, nothing to do.”

There really is no such thing as boredom when you’re a book nerd because every good book nerd knows to take a book with them wherever they go. At any one time I’ve got at least one five in my purse (who needs crossfit when you’re lugging around hard covers all day?), in my car, and of course in every room of my apartment.

4. “I just really don’t like to read.”

This isn’t an actual thing people say, right? WHO ARE THESE MADMEN?!

5. “Nope, I don’t have any plans this weekend.”

The plan is there is no plan. Weekends are for reading all of the things.

6. “Nah, I don’t need to go into that bookstore. I already have enough books.”

Ha! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

7. “I don’t have anything to read.”

HA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

8. “I think I’m going to call it a night and just go to sleep. That next chapter can wait until tomorrow.”

If you think I am going to be able to sleep without finding out what happens next, you’re absolutely bonkers. Bonkers, I tell you! There is always time to read one more chapter.

9. “We should totally build a snowfort!”

Everyone knows that booksforts > snowforts.

10. “Oh you are too sweet but I don’t think I’ll need help moving.”

Of course I need help moving. Who’s going to help me carry all these giant boxes of books!?

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