Let’s talk attraction

Let’s talk attraction, guys and gals.

Recently I came across an article in the Huffington Post that talked about the 11 things that instantly makes a man hot. It was an interesting read and I found myself nodding my head and agreeing to a lot of the things that the author listed. There were some qualities–both physical traits and personality characteristics–that were to be expected, but there were also some things that were kind of unique.

Going through the list, I began to think of what I think is attractive in a guy, what I admire and really look in a potential SO. Of course, attraction is all relative and varies greatly from person to person. It even changes as you get older (the fact that Bobby Cavanaugh had THE coolest Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle backpack–with matching pencil case I might add–may not make me swoon as much as it did when I was seven–although it’s still a contributing factor). The whole idea of attraction is totally fascinating to me–what causes it, when it first begins, how it evolves and changes over time and how much a part it plays in relationship dynamics.

Here are just some of the things that I find attractive in a guy (in no particular order):

1. Sense of humor: I know I didn’t say these were in any particular order, but I would definitely have to say that my numero uno trait in a guy that could make me say “I do, I do, I do-ooooh” is the ability to make me laugh. I want to spend my every days and every nights with someone who makes me smile, who I have the most fun with, and most importantly, who understands my crazy self, terrible dad jokes included.

2. A Big heart: Probably tied for first would be having a big heart. Kindness, graciousness and a big ‘ol loving soul are extremely attractive. Someone who would put others before themselves, who would go out of their way to make someone’s day, who gives for the sheer act of giving, not expecting anything in return is the most sexy in my eyes (sorry, Christian Grey).

3. Confidence: Having an idea of who you are, what your goals/dreams are for the future, and not being afraid to try, to learn, to grow. *Note: There is a huge, HUGE difference between confident and cocky.

4. Great with kids: A guy who loves kiddos, who isn’t ashamed to put on a tutu and have a tea party or get down on his knees to have an epic Leggo building party makes my heart melt into a puddle of goo. Literally. Just all of the goo. This goes the same for pets. *Note: Fellows, if my dog or little niece and nephew don’t like you, I probably won’t either. I don’t make the rules.)

5. Sarcasm/Quick wit: As with humor, I like a guy who doesn’t take life too seriously, who is quick on his feet and who can keep up with me in the sarcasm game. Plus, I think it shows an intelligence and air of creativity that I really dig.

6. A good suit: Or a pair of jeans with a sports coat. *Sigh

7. Accent: I’ve got to admit, while certainly not in any way a deal breaker or requirement, I’ve always had a thing for an accent. Not so much this, but give me an Irish, Australian or British accent any day (even if it’s ALL of the fake and you end up sounding like a mix between Captain Jack Sparrow and the teacher from Peanuts’ Charlie Brown.)

8. Smile: They say the first thing you notice about a person is their smile and in some ways, it’s true. A smile can show confidence and kindness, as well as many other positive qualities (even if you happen to have spinach between your teeth–we’ve all been there before amiright?)

9. Strength: I’m not talking about how much you can bench press or if your arms are bigger than my whole body (however if I ever need someone to help me move my ridiculous [ly amazing] book collection to my new apartment, it may come in handy). No, the strength I’m referring to here is a solid foundation, whether that be in his faith, his family, his ability to do the right thing and overcome obstacles. No amount of muscle could compare to that.

10. Sports fan: Having someone who is just as passionate about sports as I am, who loves spending summer days at the baseball park and fall days hunkered on the couch watching some football. You don’t have to cheer for the same team–in fact, I like a guy who isn’t afraid to talk smack from time to time. *Note: This does not apply to Cubs’ fans. Just kidding. But not really.

11. A good hugger: And last but not least, a good hugger. I am all about the hug. In many ways, I think a hug can remedy a lot of things and also just show how much you care about the other person.

So there you have it, folks. My top 11 traits/qualities that I find to be the most attractive in a guy. Of course having shared interests is great and can be really helpful, but it’s also kind of awesome to be different in certain ways, to have varied outlooks and hobbies. You each bring a unique piece to the relationship this way, learning and growing together. *Note: This does not apply to Cubs’ fans. Just kidding. But not really.

Now I’m going to ask you: Girls, what things do you look for in your ideal guy? Guys, what do you look for in your ideal girl?

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