It’s the epitome of gluttonous satisfaction when you find yourself home alone, slouching on the couch in front of the TV with your eyes half open, a steady trail of cookie crumbs dripping from your mouth onto your shirt and pants, chocolate smears on your lips and fingers, and the telltale cookie package laying beside you, the plastic tray peeled all the way out of the bag, entire rows laying vacant except for a bit of brown dust and maybe a rogue chocolate chip or two.
It’s satisfying, alright, because many delicious cookies were eaten, without witnesses, in a very quick and steady stream, by shoving them into your mouth, chewing a few times, and then swallowing quickly to make room for the next one. You’re a cookie monster and you love it.
Eating cookies like Cookie Monster is great because, more than anything, it represents freedom. Yes, free thought takes you to the pantry, free will makes you grab that cookie package and sit down on the couch, and free Seinfeld reruns keep you company while you sit down and enjoy. You’re the Executive Chef in your personal dessert kitchen here.
Just tell me that’s not liberating.
I mean sure, we all know it’s not the greatest idea to eat a pile of cookies just before bed, but that’s not the point. The point is: you can do it.
You’ve come a long way from the portion-controlled cookie snacks you got when you were a kid, that maybe two or three cookies on a small plate with a tall glass of milk that just wet your appetite for more. Now it’s all you, all the time baby. Nobody is going to stop you except you. You can eat a whole row. Heck, you can eat two rows. You can plough them in there. You can savor them slowly. The point is my friends, it’s such a great feeling to scarf cookies without abandon like Cookie Monster.
He was, is, and will forever be a role model for us all.