It seems like it was just yesterday that I had to wait in line to use our ONE landline house phone to call my besties and rehash the dramas of the school day (and by drama I mean who was picked last for Kickball during recess). I didn’t have a Kindle or e-books; instead, I used my good friend the Dewey Decimal system to find books scattered on the many shelves of my local library. I would sign on to my AOL account using the ever-so-slow dial-up internet on my dinosaur of a computer. I had to wait an eon for my pictures to develop—praying to Jimmy Fallon there was no sign of anything in my teeth because you only had that one chance to take the perfect pre-selfie selfie. I remember many a road trip when my dad “took the scenic route” using an old Rand McNally road atlas and cell phones weren’t even a thing.
Can you even imagine a world without Words With Friends?
Or what about not being able to Instagram your weekly Sunday brunch—because we all know it didn’t happen unless it was Insta-ed.
Oh how the times have changed, my friends.
Today, we live in an age where everything is instant, readily accessible and seemingly there to make our every days and every nights more simple. We live in a global society, largely in thanks to technology and social networking. Social media has become an active conduit for free speech, and social change. The revolution may not be televised, but it will be tweeted. Words, written or spoken, hold weight, convey influence and sway the life decisions of thousands—even millions. We literally have an immeasurable amount of information at our fingertips, have the power to connect and communicate with people all over the world, while simultaneously ordering our fave Dorito Loco tacos and watching ridiculously cute cat videos on YouTube.
In one word, AMAZING.
Yes, technology has come a long way, even in the past year or so. Apple, I’m looking at you. It is ever changing, growing and evolving. Becoming bigger, better, faster. Despite this however, it seems to me that there are still some areas, things that even the Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerbergs of the world quite haven’t figured out yet.
Here are some of the really simple things that technology needs to catch up on…
- I have one TV yet five different remotes. I JUST WANT TO TURN IT ON!! One control, guys. That’s all I need. One.
- I’m waiting for my car to start driving itself. Why am I paying $125 a month for a parking spot that’s five minutes from my front door, when my car can drop me off. And no need to sit in your car for hours anymore. Say goodbye to that 5 o’clock traffic jam and hello to sweat pants and take out!
- Speaking of modes of transportation, might I suggest a Floo Network? Because, Harry Potter. And because HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE?!
- There is great need for a sarcasm font.
- A device of some sort that actually knows how to fold a fitted sheet.
- A “Good Hair Day” Instagram filter. For those days when your flyaways have a mind of their own.
- Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
- Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.
- I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
- I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. There should be some kind of warning light or distress signal or sorts that goes off whenever your crazy ex-boyfriend/girlfriend or boss calls.
- I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
- This closet.