My Awesomely Random Life (and Everything in Between)

Posts tagged ‘Price is Right’

Wardrobe Malfunction

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Wardrobe malfunction (noun): An incident in the 1970s on my favorite game show in the history of ever “The Price is Right” , hosted by the forever silver fox Bob Barker, in which a contestant named Yolanda Bowersley is called to Contestants Row and her tube top falls off, revealing her, um, girls.

Yolanda Bowersly, come on down! You’re the first four con–OH MY GOODNESS, Yolanda’s TOP CAME OFF!!!

Janet Jackson wasn’t the first to experience a wardrobe malfunction, my friends.

Nor was she the last.

Case in point: Me.

Earlier this morning the program chairs at my college held our monthly meeting where we go over things like the budget, student retention and upcoming events. I really like these monthly meetings of ours because it gives all of the faculty a chance to see how everyone’s doing and share ideas on how to make the upcoming term a success. It’s also a great opportunity for me to royally embarrass myself apparently.

Before we get into that, let’s back up to earlier-earlier this morning, shall we. The sun finally decided to grace Denver with its presence today after what seemed like a marathon of cold and rain so naturally, I ditched the work pants in exchange for that very cute summer dress I recently got at Tarjay.

*Side note: Ladies, life is just way too short to not wear dresses that make your ass look great!

Fast forward to my meeting.

Now to preface this, I’d like to that it was very warm in that conference room. Like, stifling warm. And anyone who’s worn shorts/skirts in a stifling warm room while sitting knows that you begin to sweat in places you didn’t think you could sweat. Back sweat, butt sweat and yes, even knee sweat. I bet you didn’t know that knee sweat was a thing. But I’m here to tell you that is. Oh, it very much is. You start to stick. To everything. And everything begins to stick to you right back. It’s not pretty.

Another thing I’d like to point out is that I did not realize how short said very cute summer dress from Tarjay was on me.

Until it was too late, that is.

After the very long and very warm meeting concluded, we all got up to leave. As I was sitting right by the door, I was the first to exit the room. Not even noticing the slight breeze emanating across the lower half my body (my already very short dress had sweat-stuck to the top of my hip), I stood up and walked out the door, smiling at the President of the college and thanking him for a great meeting as I did so. It was only until I was walking down the hall that one of the professors came up to me, politely and swiftly yanked down my dress and said, “Honey, your bits and pieces were showing.”

Oh, is that all?

NBD. I mean, I only just flashed the program chairs along with the PRESIDENT OF THE COLLEGE!!

Kill. Me. Now.

And that’s not the only time I’ve shown my bits and pieces to the world. When I was twelve, my girlfriends and I decided to try and impress one of the Hemsworth-esque lifeguards we were fancying by going down the ridiculously steep waterslide he was manning. Due to the power of the water and the angle of the slide, I ended up losing both the top and bottom of my bikini. Let’s just say I had nightmares of two-piece bathing suits for days weeks months years after that.

When I was 16, I got the end of my dress caught in a car door. I walked away, but my dress decided to hunker down and make camp in between the metal of my car resulting in a very bottomless Wendi. And let’s not forget the time I gave my final speech in Speech class freshman year of college with my fly down. That was fun.

I think we’ve all at some point or another suffered from the hands of wind-blown skirts, crotch-ripped jeans or faulty tube tops. Yes, it’s embarrassing and mortifying and completely humiliating.

But it’s also not the end of the world.

You may need to leave the state and change your name, but…

In all seriousness though, my advice to you if you happen to find yourself baring all like Yolanda, Janet or yours truley: laugh. Find the humor in the situation and just laugh, laugh it off. Nothing is ever as worse as you will make it out to be. And I promise you, most people are focused on making sure their bits and pieces are successfully covered up to worry about yours.

But just in case, always wear your best skivvies, do the double zip check before leaving the restroom, and mayyyybe rethink the tubetop if going on national television.

Just saying.

Question of the day: Tell me your best worst wardrobe malfunction.

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Can you guess what it is?

Come in.

Just take a guess.

Nope. I didn’t finally create a way to prevent that nasty milk flakage that appears on the top of milk jugs (although how awesome would that be, right?!)

And no, I am not going to be the next contestant on the Price is Right (although how awesomely awesome would THAT be, right?!)

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Maybe I won’t.

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Find Your Chocolate Chip

Hey guys!

Happy Monday! Or as happy as Mondays can get I suppose. Mondays to me are like those burnt bits of cookie you sometimes get when you forget to check on them in the oven. Not that I have ever done that of course 😉

Although they may not taste the best at the very beginning, once you are able to get past the brown and extra-crispy parts and get to the ooey, gooey chocolatey goodness that is the rest of the cookie, you’ll find that it’s not all that bad. Mondays are kind of like that; once you get past the having-to-set-the-alarm-clock, going to work/school, the weirdnesses, the stresses, the hecticness of the day, those burnt bits and pieces of that cookie, you can enjoy the rest of the week knowing that the best is yet to come.

Sometimes though, I think poor Mondays get a bad rap. After all, even an overly well-done chocolate-chipper, as brown and crispy as it may be, is still a chocolate-chip cookie. And really, who cannot not smile when eating a cookie, burnt or not?! I know I certainly can’t 🙂

No matter how crazy or weird or hectic a day that you may have had, I believe in always trying to find something that was good about it, the silver lining, a reason to look back the next morning and smile…the chocolate chip of the day. Life is too short not to indulge in your sweet tooth!

Today was one of those days for yours truly. It started off a little crispy, a little burnt, but it ended up being pretty darn sweet.

Let me explain.

I woke up this morning with the headache of all headaches. I’m talking temple-thumpin’, brain-freeze-topping, turn-off-the-lights-and-close-the-shades, kill-me-now kind of headaches. I used to get really bad migraines when I was younger and this was almost as bad as those nasty things were. Ish. After I hit the snooze button once, twice, three times, I decided to get my lazy bum up and out of bed and finally start the day.

As I was walking zombie-like to the bathroom to brush my teeth, I tripped over my dog’s big toe-killer of a bone, sending me into a fit of not so nice words (sorry Thunder–ear muffs). There’s just something about that big toe and your funny bone that when hit or wacked sends your nerve endings into a frenzy. Not the best way to start the day but hey, at least my headache didn’t seem so bad compared to my now throbbing appendage.

After I trudged downstairs, I saw my pup, anxiously waiting to go for his walk. Thunder was waiting by the front door, doing the potty dance he does every morning, so I quickly changed and headed on out. Usually I don’t really think about bringing a doggy bag, a homemade and very cheap pooper-scooper if you will, because he is usually good about not going in the neighbor’s yard, preferring the woods instead. I guess today he decided to switch it up a bit. Just when I looked down to change the tune on my i-pod, he decided to leave a little gift, a BIG gift actually, right in the middle of one of my neighbor’s flower beds.  And then proceeded to step in it. All up in it. Oh that dog! I swear sometimes…

He just looked up at me, those big ‘ol eyes, his tail wagging and happy as a clam. Gotta love him. As crappy as it was–pun intended–I couldn’t help but laugh a little bit. After my pup was happily walked, relieved and clean, I made my way back down to the scene of the crime and picked up the evidence. Gross gross gross.

After a quick shower and change, I made my way downstairs to make myself some breakfast. I had Frosted Flakes on the brain, my still banging-like-a-drum brain, but when I opened the fridge to grab the milk, I saw this…

Oh shoots.

I knew I should have picked some up last night.

And why did I put an empty carton back in the fridge?

Well, so much for Tony the Tiger. I opted for oatmeal instead which sounded great until I had the wise idea of putting it in a glass bowl. A glass bowl that went into the microwave and came out wicked-lava hot, burning my hands and sending me once again into a fit of not so nice words (sorry Thunder). Good news? My headache and throbbing big toe where now just figments of my imagination.

Oy vey.

Again, as silly and as painful a situation that I was in, I just had to laugh. I never cease to amaze myself at, well, myself. After satisfying my tummy with my cooled down oats and bananas, I sat down and watched some Price is Right. Gosh I love that show! Plinko is my game, yo! I never usually have time to just sit back on a Monday morning and watch (and yell at the) contestants spin the big wheel. It was kinda nice. It was really nice in fact. Soon I will be so busy with school and work that these moments of mindless game show viewing, of waking up after 10 am, of taking my pup on a leisurely stroll with no rush because I have to leave the house to get to work on time, no matter how stinky that stroll may be, will be few and far between. I’ve got to take advantage of these opportunities, these little moments when I can.

Just when Drew Carry announced the prizes for the epic showcase showdown, I got a call from Panera Bread offering me a position as a part of their team and that I would start orientation later this week. Whoo hoo! Tutoring has been wonderful, but it’ll be nice to have a little something extra to do. Plus, it’ll be a great way to meet people and make some extra moolah (grad school is sadly not cheap). Of course the added benefit of all-I-can-eat delicious Panera Bread food whenever I want doesn’t hurt all that bad either.

My Monday started off a bit burnt, a bit crispy–the headache, the big toe, the way too hot oatmeal and don’t even get me started on  my stinky pup–but it was most definitely salvageable. I was able to find those moments of sweetness, those parts of the cookie that made me smile. Those parts that I just had to laugh at and really relish.

No matter how burnt your day may be, remember to look for that chocolate chip. I know it’s there somewhere 🙂

Unless you’re eating a Snickerdoodle…

Question of the day: Mondays-Are you a fan? What do you do to help get you through the day?

 

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