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Posts tagged ‘Inside Amy Schumer’

How to take compliments like a boss

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“Great job on that presentation, girl! You rocked it!”

“That dress looks stunning on you, hon!”

“This is, hands down, THE best chocolate-chip cookie I’ve ever had! Seriously! Martha Stewart is shaking in her boots right now.”

If you’re anything like me, your cheeks suddenly turn Sebastian red, your palms start to sweat, you oddly forget how to formulate words (a very rare anomaly when it comes to yours truly) and you immediately turn your head towards your Chuck Taylors, averting all eye contact. You’ve just been given the sweetest of compliments by your best friend/SO/teacher/boss yet you are acting like a complete and total wack-a-doo.

There has been a longstanding stereotype perpetuating the idea that women can’t take a compliment. I’d like to think that this is completely bonkers, but having examined my own behavior, as well as that of some of the women closet to me in my life (my sister, my best friends, my mom, etc.), I’m beginning to think that that stereotype has some truth to it.

So what is it that is keeping us from accepting a compliment? Why do we feel it necessary to deflect, ignore or shrug off these kind sentiments?

As a strong, independent and empowered female, I still have a hard time accepting compliments from people, whether they be strangers or those I’ve known my whole life. I will never forget the time when the boy I was Orange-crushing hardcore over in middle school gave me a high-five and told me I had the best arm out of any of the girls he knew. We were playing softball in gym class and I had just made the final out of the game, throwing a ground ball to first base. I didn’t know whether to laugh, smile, or throw up. What I ended up doing was giggling awkwardly and replying with a, “Hahahthankssomuchyoutoo.”

Smooth, Wendi. Real smooth.

A big reason why compliments make me, and a lot of other people–women in particular (although men have just as hard of a time as us girls sometimes), feel just all of the awkward has to do with our current self-esteem state. I think there’s something in our mind-set that says we cannot possibly deserve positive feedback. That lady sitting across from you on the subway who told you she liked your purse, or that man stuck in traffic next to you who started clapping at your impromptu car karaoke session must be either lying, misguided, or feeling sorry for you.

After all, if we aren’t in a place where we would give ourselves these compliments, how are we going to believe others when they do the same?

Somewhere along the line, we have been taught to not boast of our achievements, to be brimming with pride about who we are, what we have done and the accomplishments that we have made.  We take the compliment, but immediately put it down like it was no thing but a chicken wing. We put ourselves down, point out our weaknesses, claim it was “just luck” or immediately compliment the person who complimented us, redirecting the attention towards the other person. Now, I believe there is some value in humility; I wouldn’t tell you to expect a round of applause every time you walked into a room (although that would be kind of nice on those days where you are just feeling meh). What I am saying is to own your worth and love yourself enough to know that you deserve that compliment, damnit!

Our girl Amy Schumer did a skit a few years ago on her show Inside Amy Schumer which exemplifies this very habit of ours.

People, women in particular, have a tendency to choose self-deprecation over self-assertion. It’s most definitely easier, and helps to make others more comfortable, but this can also have some negative side effects. Emma Gray of The Huffington Post wrote after the Schumer video came out:

These sorts of comments reinforce a pattern of continuous lady self-loathing. When being unable to accept praise is the norm, it makes it more difficult for us to take pride in what we do or what we look like. And frankly, when I compliment a friend or acquaintance, I genuinely mean whatever I say—I don’t want her to brush it off and insult herself as a result. Instead of downplaying our accomplishments, intellect, and looks, women should be celebrating those things that make us exceptional. Owning your awesomeness doesn’t make you obnoxious or arrogant. It makes you confident.

Instead of putting yourself down and not recognizing how awesome we really are, let’s start trying to do these things instead.

  • Own your accomplishments: It wasn’t because of that lucky penny you picked up on the way to work, that your horoscope was particularly sunny that day, the goodwill of others, or any other reason that you managed to do something ridiculously amazing; it was YOU! Your effort and commitment. Even if you truly were just in the right place at the right time, you deserve credit for seeing an opportunity and going after it. If you wouldn’t dream of not taking responsibility for your failures, then get to steppin’ and take responsibility for your achievements.
  • Be appreciative: A compliment is really a kind of gift. You wouldn’t put down or reject a gift from a friend or loved one would you (well, okay there was that one time I got a state quarter map for Christmas from my parents but…); treat compliments the same way.
  • Recognize your contribution. You may not be the only one who deserves to be complimented on a job well-done, and it’s fine to say so, but remember that you’re a part of your group’s success, too. You were just a part of your team’s success as your fellow members. Instead of saying “Well, Ben and Jerry deserve all the credit”; say “Thanks, I’m sure Ben and Jerry will be tickled pink hearing that, too.”
  • Be gracious. Giving a compliment isn’t always easy. In fact, it can be just as awkward and nerve-wracking giving a compliment as it is receiving one. When someone does offer you one, accept it easily and gracefully. And if the opportunity presents itself, pay them a compliment  back.  Let people know that you appreciate them for appreciating you.

You don’t have to be a cocky, arrogant, son-of-a-you-know-what to take a compliment well (but it helps — kidding!) just a reasonably well-balanced, self-assured person. The good news is that mastering the art of receiving compliments helps make you into a more well-balanced, self-assured person — which, in turn, will earn you more compliments.

This process is definitely easier said than done–something that I have and will be continuously working on, but with practice and regularly incorporating these tips above, I’m on my way to learning how to take compliments like a boss.

And you can be too!

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10 Quotes From Amy Schumer That Prove Just How Awesome-Sauce She Really Is

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I have admittedly, a lot of famous crushes. There are of course the Chris’s: Hemsworth and Evans, Miles Teller, Jimmy Fallon, the Pillsbury Dough Boy (no judgment, people) and my newest celebrity crush: Amy Schumer.

Amy Schumer burst onto the scene back in 2012 when she won fourth place on the NBC show Last Comic Standing, and went on to land numerous roles on TV shows like Curb Your Enthusiasm and Girls. It wasn’t until her hit sketch comedy show Inside Amy Schumer on Comedy Central–which is now awesomely in it’s second season– that she really became more of a well-known name. She even wrote and is starring in what is sure to be the HIL-ARIOUS blockbuster of the summer, Trainwreck which also features funny man Bill Hader.

*I may or may not have watched the trailer for this movie 456 times. Okay. 457 times.

I remember watching Amy on Last Comic way back when and thinking to myself, now that girl is funny. Like she’s really, really funny. She’s not just one of the most talented female comics out there, but she’s one of the most talented comics period. She’s a woman who is breaking barriers and glass ceilings, following in the footsteps of some of our other favorite funny ladies,Tina and Amy P. who have also helped to pave the way for female comics everywhere. That in and of itself deserves the most epic high-five and bear hug ever.

Beyond being just pee-your-pants spot on with her humor, Amy Schumer is someone who I think girls and guys alike just want to know, to be friends with, to kick back on a Friday night watching reruns of Seinfeld while drinking margheritas with. She is real. She is honest. She is kick-ass personified.

One of the reasons why Amy is girl-crush status worthy in my eyes is the incredible voice she gives to people who may feel insecure, torn down or unsure of themselves. Amy somehow manages to maintain the perfect balance of vulnerable and fearless, poignant and silly, honest and completely unapologetic. She isn’t afraid to tackle hard topics like she did in this amazing Friday Night Lights spoof, raising awareness of serious issues in the best way possible: through humor.

The following 10 quotes from my ultimate girl-crush prove just how awesome-sauce Amy Schumer really is.

1.”The moments that make life worth living are when things are at their worst and you find a way to laugh.”

2.“I say if I’m beautiful. I say if I’m strong. You will not determine my story – I will.”

3.“I feel very comfortable in my own skin. When someone makes jokes about me being heavy, it makes me mad. It’s not true. I’m right where I should be.”

4.“Boxing is like stand-up. Getting hit in boxing really made me feel stronger as a stand-up, because it’s like having your worst fears happen to you. That gives you power, because you’re no longer scared of it happening anymore. You got hit, and it hurt, but you’re okay.”

5. “I may sound like a megalomaniac, but I feel like I’m equipped to become a great, memorable comedian, if I keep working my ass off and staying at the pace I’m at, and I feel a responsibility to do that because of the women who have done it before me, and the ones who need to do it after me.”

6. “I just say what I think is the funniest thing I could say. I’m not trying to make headlines. I’m just trying to say the stuff that I think is funny and will make people laugh.”

7. “I wrote an article for Men’s Health and was so proud, until I saw instead of using my photo, they used one of a 16-year-old model wearing a clown nose, to show that she’s hilarious. But those are my words. What about who I am, and what I have to say? I can be reduced to that lost college freshman so quickly sometimes, I want to quit. Not performing, but being a woman altogether. I want to throw my hands in the air, after reading a mean Twitter comment, and say, ‘All right! You got it. You figured me out. I’m not pretty. I’m not thin. I do not deserve to use my voice…. All my self-worth is based on what you can see.’ But then I think, Fuck that.“

8. “I am a hot-blooded fire and I am fearless.”

9. “I am a woman with thoughts and questions and shit to say.”

10. “Now I feel strong and beautiful. I walk proudly down the streets of Manhattan. The people I love, love me. I make the funniest people in the country laugh, and they are my friends. I am a great friend and an even better sister. I have fought my way through harsh criticism and death threats for speaking my mind. I am alive, like the strong women in this room before me.”

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