It’s no joke, guys.
It takes serious teamwork, timing, and trust, but building a stack of pancakes that looks just like the picture on the front of the box can be one of the most rewarding breakfast experiences of yo’ life! Here’s how you can make the magic happen:
1. Assemble a team. you’ll need a cook, a condimenter, and a table-seter. The cook should be an early riser and a self-starter. They need to have the skill and the confidence required to make breakfast for a group of people, as well as a basic understanding of what a circle looks like. Your condimenter needs to understand the value of real butter and decent maples syrup (and where to find them). A valid driver’s license and four wheels may be necessary here. Lastly, there’s the table-setter. prior experience is mandatory. Also, an added bonus (but not a deal-breaker) is the ability to fold napkins into nice triangle or swans.
2. Night-before prep work. Yes, the show begins the night before “P” day. The condimenter needs to make sure that all of the key ingredients are in the house. Is there enough powder in the pancake box? is the tap water running okay? How about the syrup and butter? If necessary, make a list and hit up the closest grocery store before it closes. The last thing we want to find out the next morning is that something’s missing. Plus, nobody will sleep well knowing that there could possibly be a crucial character missing from the cast.
3. Rest up. It doesn’t matter what time you go to sleep. Just make sure that you squeeze enough solid hours of golden slumbers in there to power up the [orange] juices and get the engine revving the next morning. Remember: groggy kitchen work is sloppy kitchen work. Nobody likes an oblong or burnt or overly-mushy flapjack.
4. Wake up and get down to pancakes. Showtime! Now it’s the cook’s time to shine. This job is not for the weak minded. No, sir. The cook must first set the oven to a low temperature because that’s going to be the holding tank until a full stack of pancakes is ready. This isn’t going to be one of those ‘Got a fresh one of the frying pan–who wants it?’ type of days. The is the slow building crescendo towards a massive stack of pancakes. Let’s not forget that. Once we’ve got the oven set low, the cook starts doing their thing–tying their hair into a bandana if necessary, getting the frying pan warmed up and mixing the batter. The cook must be able to sacrifice their own rumbling stomach for the group of the group. There can be NO breaks until the full stack of pancakes is cooked, kept warm and ready to serve. The table-setter must be busy here too, pulling out the silverware, laying out the plates, and folding napkins. And rounding out this majestic circus-like performance is the condimenter who is busy pouring juice and jigsawing perfect squares of butter.
Team, remember wheat we’re playing for here: a towering stack of hot, fluffy pancakes drizzled with sweet, slow-moving syrup, delicately topped with a thick, perfectly melting square of butter.
Yes, it takes a bit of time.
Yes, it takes real effort.
And yes, you will require a solid lineup of team players who never take their eyes off the end goal. But what could be more fun on a weekend morning than creating your own stack of pancakes that looks just like the front of the box?