My Awesomely Random Life (and Everything in Between)

Posts tagged ‘Friday Night Lights’

10 Quotes From Amy Schumer That Prove Just How Awesome-Sauce She Really Is


I have admittedly, a lot of famous crushes. There are of course the Chris’s: Hemsworth and Evans, Miles Teller, Jimmy Fallon, the Pillsbury Dough Boy (no judgment, people) and my newest celebrity crush: Amy Schumer.

Amy Schumer burst onto the scene back in 2012 when she won fourth place on the NBC show Last Comic Standing, and went on to land numerous roles on TV shows like Curb Your Enthusiasm and Girls. It wasn’t until her hit sketch comedy show Inside Amy Schumer on Comedy Central–which is now awesomely in it’s second season– that she really became more of a well-known name. She even wrote and is starring in what is sure to be the HIL-ARIOUS blockbuster of the summer, Trainwreck which also features funny man Bill Hader.

*I may or may not have watched the trailer for this movie 456 times. Okay. 457 times.

I remember watching Amy on Last Comic way back when and thinking to myself, now that girl is funny. Like she’s really, really funny. She’s not just one of the most talented female comics out there, but she’s one of the most talented comics period. She’s a woman who is breaking barriers and glass ceilings, following in the footsteps of some of our other favorite funny ladies,Tina and Amy P. who have also helped to pave the way for female comics everywhere. That in and of itself deserves the most epic high-five and bear hug ever.

Beyond being just pee-your-pants spot on with her humor, Amy Schumer is someone who I think girls and guys alike just want to know, to be friends with, to kick back on a Friday night watching reruns of Seinfeld while drinking margheritas with. She is real. She is honest. She is kick-ass personified.

One of the reasons why Amy is girl-crush status worthy in my eyes is the incredible voice she gives to people who may feel insecure, torn down or unsure of themselves. Amy somehow manages to maintain the perfect balance of vulnerable and fearless, poignant and silly, honest and completely unapologetic. She isn’t afraid to tackle hard topics like she did in this amazing Friday Night Lights spoof, raising awareness of serious issues in the best way possible: through humor.

The following 10 quotes from my ultimate girl-crush prove just how awesome-sauce Amy Schumer really is.

1.”The moments that make life worth living are when things are at their worst and you find a way to laugh.”

2.“I say if I’m beautiful. I say if I’m strong. You will not determine my story – I will.”

3.“I feel very comfortable in my own skin. When someone makes jokes about me being heavy, it makes me mad. It’s not true. I’m right where I should be.”

4.“Boxing is like stand-up. Getting hit in boxing really made me feel stronger as a stand-up, because it’s like having your worst fears happen to you. That gives you power, because you’re no longer scared of it happening anymore. You got hit, and it hurt, but you’re okay.”

5. “I may sound like a megalomaniac, but I feel like I’m equipped to become a great, memorable comedian, if I keep working my ass off and staying at the pace I’m at, and I feel a responsibility to do that because of the women who have done it before me, and the ones who need to do it after me.”

6. “I just say what I think is the funniest thing I could say. I’m not trying to make headlines. I’m just trying to say the stuff that I think is funny and will make people laugh.”

7. “I wrote an article for Men’s Health and was so proud, until I saw instead of using my photo, they used one of a 16-year-old model wearing a clown nose, to show that she’s hilarious. But those are my words. What about who I am, and what I have to say? I can be reduced to that lost college freshman so quickly sometimes, I want to quit. Not performing, but being a woman altogether. I want to throw my hands in the air, after reading a mean Twitter comment, and say, ‘All right! You got it. You figured me out. I’m not pretty. I’m not thin. I do not deserve to use my voice…. All my self-worth is based on what you can see.’ But then I think, Fuck that.“

8. “I am a hot-blooded fire and I am fearless.”

9. “I am a woman with thoughts and questions and shit to say.”

10. “Now I feel strong and beautiful. I walk proudly down the streets of Manhattan. The people I love, love me. I make the funniest people in the country laugh, and they are my friends. I am a great friend and an even better sister. I have fought my way through harsh criticism and death threats for speaking my mind. I am alive, like the strong women in this room before me.”

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Notes on a Friday

1. I am officially in love with FebruANY. All month long at Subway, any sandwich can magically turn into a $5 foot long. I plan to fully take advantage of this. Bonus? I think the pre-pubescent sandwich maker who is a dead-ringer for Minkus from Boy Meets World has a crush on me. Not only did he throw in a free bag of chips and TWO heavenly white-chocolate macadamia nut cookies for me, but he asked me what I was doing later. I was flattered (and super excited I got free dessert!). My ‘later’ started off by pounding down this lovely diddy 🙂

Get in my belly!

2. Is it me or does your nose do a happy dance every time you step into that restaurant? They should definitely consider making a candle and/or room freshener of that amazeballs fresh-bread scent. Or how about this…Eau de Subway: The Cologne. I’m telling you. It’ll be huge!

3. What is with this weather lately? It’s February and my new bee-utiful friend and I spent the day lounging in the sun,  soaking up the rays and doing a little bit of reading. Mr. Punxsutawney Phil announced yesterday that there would be 6 more weeks of winter, but hey, if this is the winter that he was referring to, bring it on Phil. Bring. It. On.

4. I wrapped up watching the whole series of Friday Night Lights last night. If you have not seen this show, drop what you’re doing, right now, No, I mean it. Stop writing your history paper, step away from your boss’s To-Do list, pause your mean game of Angry Birds or Words With Friends for a moment, and start watching! DO IT! It is one of  THE best shows ever. Full Eyes. Full Hearts. Can’t Lose.

5. I spent two hours last night trying to reach Technical Support at AT&T to help fix my funky internet connection. If I hear robot lady ask me one more time, “Which of the following do you need help with?”  (“Internet connection! Not bill collection. Internet connection!”) or “Why don’t you just tell me what you need?” (INTERNET CONNECTION! NOT BILL COLLECTION. INTERNET CONNECTION!!) I am going to go crazy (which isn’t a far trip for me haha).

6. My mission on once and for all kicking ED to the curb has been going great and I really couldn’t be happier with the Goliath-size strides I’ve been taking.  My body is super excited that it’s finally getting what it needs and wants, getting stronger and stronger by the day, with every piece of pizza eaten and milkshake chugged.  I’ve even started to build some serious muscle (I better start carrying a Gun Toting licence for these babies). Unfortunately however, to feel 100% great, you have to go through a bit of uncomfortableness (the good thing is it doesn’t last long). Needless to say, the heating pad has become my tummy’s best friend (thank you Jenna for the life-saving suggestion) and if I was a car, I wouldn’t have to stop at a Shel Station anytime soon (if you know what I mean). Grandpa, dad, Aaron, Nick, Uncle Scott…basically every male in my family, you’d be so proud. As am I, actually. I wear this ‘Toot Badge’ with honor because it is a sign that I am moving in the right direction, a slightly stinky one for the time being, but the right one nonetheless. Glade room spray is always nearby although…that Eau de Subway would work great! Come on guys, I’m telling you. HUGE hit!

7. Today I sneezed six times in a row. That’s got to be some kind of record.

8. I sneezed six times in a row while driving without ramming my Bug into an innocent mailbox. That’s got to be some kind of miracle.

9. I have recently come to the realization…Major Deal breaker: Ya gots to be a Brewers fan. Or at the very least, be an award-winning actor in pretending to be one. And no eating your cheeseburger with a knife and fork. And wearing skinny jeans that even I couldn’t fit into paired with a purple and pink-stripped sweater. And thinking that Britney Spears is THE best musical artist of all-time. The others I could maybe stomach but that? I have to cross the line somewhere.

10. I am about to settle in with a bowl of popcorn and pop in one of the all-time greatest films ever, Field of Dreams. I don’t know what it is about that movie that always makes me reach for the Kleenex box. Can allergies be submitted through the TV? “Hey dad…you want to play catch” Ahh!!! That gets me Every. Time.

Have a great Friday night everybody!!!!


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