My Awesomely Random Life (and Everything in Between)

Posts tagged ‘Boy Meets World’

Stupidly Useful Things I’ve Learned About Life

“Life’s tough; get a helmet.”

Lifes-Tough-Get-a-Helmet-Boy-Meets-World

Okay, so I technically learned that from watching Boy Meets World on the repeat when I was 15 yesterday. But Eric Matthews was right. Life is though. It’s so incredibly exciting and amazing and surprising and ridiculously awesome. But it can also most definitely be tough.

In my 28 years thus far, here are some of the stupidly useful things I’ve learned about life that have helped me get through those tough times looking somewhat less stupid.

  1. Opening a credit card in order to build up your credit is a smart thing to do. But you’ll probably get turned down multiple times because you don’t have any credit yet. Welcome to adulting my friends.
  2. Speaking of finances, having a separate savings account for money that you will have to spend on other people’s weddings and/or baby showers seems, at times, more fiscally practical than starting a 401K.
  3. When you’ve finally, FINALLY achieved an empty inbox, do not forget to celebrate the blissful beauty of it all. Because it will only last for eleven seconds before you get a spam email offering half-priced coupons for motor oil and a free consultation with a psychic reader. 
  4. Ads that pop up on the side of your Facebook page function as both a way to sell products and as a way to shame you for their weird Google searches you’ve made recently.
  5. Frozen knock-off grocery store brand pizza and a Die Hard DVD are the only ways to have a successful New Year’s Eve.
  6. If someone says, “Deep down, he/she is a good person,” it means that person actually sucks.
  7. If someone says, “That’s hilarious” after you tell them a story, they weren’t listening to anything you just said.
  8. Your relationship will reach a new level of intimacy when you eat a burrito in front of your SO without thinking twice about how unattractive you look with guac and beans all over your face.
  9. The person who says they’ll only eat one piece of pizza when you’re putting in the group order is actually the one you have to watch out for. “I’ll just have one little piece.” NO YOU WILL NOT KAREN YOU LIAR!
  10. If you’re ever feeling down about your relationship, turn on HGTV for a few minutes and watch unhappy couples passive-aggressively speak to each other while trying to conceal their rage. It’ll make you feel just soooo much better.
  11. Don’t wear unique or recognizable shoes to work. Your coworker in the stall next to you will know that you’re the one “keeping up your regularity”  in there and no one wants that. No one.
  12. When I drink coffee, I either get too ambitious and try to drink it while it’s molten lava hot, or I wait too long and it’s cold. There is no in between.
  13. “One more episode” is universal for five more episodes.
  14. If your friend texts you that they’re ten minutes away, they just got out of the shower.
  15. Marilyn Monroe did not say nearly as many of those quotes as I thought she did.
  16. Hanger is not joke, guys. It’s a very real thing with very real consequences (just ask those poor HGTV couples). The only way to fight it is to order a large rotisserie chicken as an appetizer when you go out to dinner with friends.
  17. Speaking of food, pasta is the only home-cooked meal that you can absolutely not. f*ck. up.
  18. If you screw up pasta, give up cooking forever and go home. If you’re already in your home, find a new home.
  19. Appreciate the leggings-are-pants trend for as long as you possibly can. You’ll never know the good you had right in front of you until it’s gone.
  20. Sneezing while driving is the most terrifying experience anyone will ever, ever, ever have.
  21. On a similar page, trying to take off your jacket while driving is the most ridiculously difficult thing you will ever, ever, ever do.
  22. If you decide to talk on the phone on public transportation, just know that ever person is listening (and now knows the real reason why Jack/Jill broke up with you. You were just too damn hangry, weren’t you?)
  23. Receiving mail with a hand-written address on the front is one of the most exciting things in the world! But it will end up being a “time to make your yearly appointment” reminder from your dentist.
  24. If someone is telling you a story and you accidentally zone out, just say, “That’s hilarious!”
  25. There is nothing, NOTHING, that a bowl of ice cream can’t fix/cure. I’m pretty sure it’s science.

QOTD: What are some of the stupidly useful things you’ve learned about life so far?

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Friday Faves

Hola mi amigos!

Happy FriYAY! And May Day!

This week has made like Harry on a broomstick and just flown by! Actually, all of April has. How is it already May? Crazy hot sauce.

I’ve some pretty exciting plans on the docket for this weekend, starting with tonight. I’m living out my Who’s Line Is It Anyway dreams and going to see some live improve comedy with a friend which will be really fun! Nothing like a little ab-inducing laugh attack to kick off the weekend (my favorite form of cardio bee-tee-dubs).

Then on Saturday, the sis and I are channeling our inner Cal Ripken Jr. and hitting up the batting cages/throwing the ball around. We’ve decided to join an intramural coed softball league this summer (which actually starts in two weeks!! Like I said, just flying by!) and thought it might be best to get some practice time in. I used to play–and not to toot my own horn or anything, but I was pretty damn good–but that was eons ago; to say that I’m a tad rusty would be an understatement. I’m a lot. I’m pretty much the tinman of rusty. But I’m so super excited to get back into the swing of things, pun intended.

Other than that, I’m looking forward to kicking back with a good book, my queue of Netflix and getting my chillax on. Because that’s really what weekends are all about, aren’t they? Well, that and pizza. One must consume an ungodly amount of ‘zza. Hey, I didn’t make the rules, I just follow them.

Whatever it is you’ve got planned, I hope that you have an amazing weekend! But before you dive head first into that pepperoni, be sure to check out my favorites from around the web and more in the week’s Friday Faves!

Favorite Funny: I am still LOL’ing so hard at Kristen Wiig’s Daenerys impression on Jimmy Fallon. She KILLED it! I don’t know who I’m crushing harder on, my girl Kristen or Mr. Fallon.

Favorite place: Elan Valley, Wales. Which is the sky and which is the water?

ElanValleyReservoir

Favorite GETINMYMOUTH: $!utty Brownies (respelled for spam purposes). I MEAN!!

Slutty Brownies

Favorite Reunion: Boy Meets World is still my favorite of show in the history of ever (well, besides Seinfeld of course) so you can imagine how excited I got when I saw this mini-reunion photo taken on the set of Girl Meets World that Ben Savage aka Corey Matthews posted on his insta the other day. My inner 13 year-old self was flipping out! Okay, okay. My outer 28-year self was flipping out!

girlmeetsworld

Favorite Read: Run, don’t walk, to pick up a copy of Before I Go, by Colleen Oakley. I am about two-thirds of the way done with it right now and holy buckets…of emotions that is. Such a beautiful story of love, life and living every last moment like it truly is your last. But you’re gonna want to buy stock in some Kleenex.

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Favorite flashback: Cinnamon Pull Apart Bread. My Mom used to make me Cinnamon Sugar Toast all the time when I was growing up. This updated twist is making my mouth water!

cinnamonpullapartbread

Favorite idea: Light Switch Time Capsule. Leave a note hidden behind a light switch when you move for another owner to find sometime in the future. Super clever.

notebehindswitchplate

Favorite Pick-up line(s):Are you a horcrux? Because I think you just stole a little piece of my heart.” I can’t with these right now, especially 8, 12 and 15!

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Favorite view. Ohhhh, I hope I have a chance to do this someday!!!

plane

Favorite personalized gift: Thumbprint Heart Pendant. Perfect for husband/wife, mom/dad/children, grandparents/grandchildren. I think this would be such a neat gift to give my momma this Mother’s Day!

*Mom, if you’re reading this, start preparing your surprised face now! 😉

Fingerprintjewelry

Favorite print: Holstee Manifesto. Must. Have. ASAP. Love, love, love, this – I want it front and center somewhere in my house!

Holstee-Manifesto-Poster_1

Notes on a Friday

1. I am officially in love with FebruANY. All month long at Subway, any sandwich can magically turn into a $5 foot long. I plan to fully take advantage of this. Bonus? I think the pre-pubescent sandwich maker who is a dead-ringer for Minkus from Boy Meets World has a crush on me. Not only did he throw in a free bag of chips and TWO heavenly white-chocolate macadamia nut cookies for me, but he asked me what I was doing later. I was flattered (and super excited I got free dessert!). My ‘later’ started off by pounding down this lovely diddy 🙂

Get in my belly!

2. Is it me or does your nose do a happy dance every time you step into that restaurant? They should definitely consider making a candle and/or room freshener of that amazeballs fresh-bread scent. Or how about this…Eau de Subway: The Cologne. I’m telling you. It’ll be huge!

3. What is with this weather lately? It’s February and my new bee-utiful friend and I spent the day lounging in the sun,  soaking up the rays and doing a little bit of reading. Mr. Punxsutawney Phil announced yesterday that there would be 6 more weeks of winter, but hey, if this is the winter that he was referring to, bring it on Phil. Bring. It. On.

4. I wrapped up watching the whole series of Friday Night Lights last night. If you have not seen this show, drop what you’re doing, right now, No, I mean it. Stop writing your history paper, step away from your boss’s To-Do list, pause your mean game of Angry Birds or Words With Friends for a moment, and start watching! DO IT! It is one of  THE best shows ever. Full Eyes. Full Hearts. Can’t Lose.

5. I spent two hours last night trying to reach Technical Support at AT&T to help fix my funky internet connection. If I hear robot lady ask me one more time, “Which of the following do you need help with?”  (“Internet connection! Not bill collection. Internet connection!”) or “Why don’t you just tell me what you need?” (INTERNET CONNECTION! NOT BILL COLLECTION. INTERNET CONNECTION!!) I am going to go crazy (which isn’t a far trip for me haha).

6. My mission on once and for all kicking ED to the curb has been going great and I really couldn’t be happier with the Goliath-size strides I’ve been taking.  My body is super excited that it’s finally getting what it needs and wants, getting stronger and stronger by the day, with every piece of pizza eaten and milkshake chugged.  I’ve even started to build some serious muscle (I better start carrying a Gun Toting licence for these babies). Unfortunately however, to feel 100% great, you have to go through a bit of uncomfortableness (the good thing is it doesn’t last long). Needless to say, the heating pad has become my tummy’s best friend (thank you Jenna for the life-saving suggestion) and if I was a car, I wouldn’t have to stop at a Shel Station anytime soon (if you know what I mean). Grandpa, dad, Aaron, Nick, Uncle Scott…basically every male in my family, you’d be so proud. As am I, actually. I wear this ‘Toot Badge’ with honor because it is a sign that I am moving in the right direction, a slightly stinky one for the time being, but the right one nonetheless. Glade room spray is always nearby although…that Eau de Subway would work great! Come on guys, I’m telling you. HUGE hit!

7. Today I sneezed six times in a row. That’s got to be some kind of record.

8. I sneezed six times in a row while driving without ramming my Bug into an innocent mailbox. That’s got to be some kind of miracle.

9. I have recently come to the realization…Major Deal breaker: Ya gots to be a Brewers fan. Or at the very least, be an award-winning actor in pretending to be one. And no eating your cheeseburger with a knife and fork. And wearing skinny jeans that even I couldn’t fit into paired with a purple and pink-stripped sweater. And thinking that Britney Spears is THE best musical artist of all-time. The others I could maybe stomach but that? I have to cross the line somewhere.

10. I am about to settle in with a bowl of popcorn and pop in one of the all-time greatest films ever, Field of Dreams. I don’t know what it is about that movie that always makes me reach for the Kleenex box. Can allergies be submitted through the TV? “Hey dad…you want to play catch” Ahh!!! That gets me Every. Time.

Have a great Friday night everybody!!!!

 

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