My Awesomely Random Life (and Everything in Between)


Hey mom. I know you didn’t want me to do anything special for your birthday (30! Again!), but there’s no way I could not do anything for you. IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY, SILLY! Of course I’m going to celebrate the awesome and amazing and beautiful and one-of-a-kind woman you are. So go grab those tissues from your coat pocket, dammit! I know you way too well, which is why I think you might most definitely will need them.

From the time I was born, there has always been one person who has been totally, completely, 110% invested in my (and Lindsay’s) happiness: you.

Evidenced by the fact that mini me never left your side (remember the tantrums I threw when the babysitter came?), you were truly my first and best friend.


You kept me entertained when I was little by playing with toys decades too young for you to enjoy (Oh. Polly Pocket again? Sure, honey.) You picked me up from school everyday just to make sure you were the first to be updated on my life. And even now you demand to know every single detail. *Bee tee dubs, the cats are great, no word on any possible jobs yet, that date I had the other night was just all of the worst, and I have been eating my veggies–potato chips count, no?

All you have ever wished for in life was to provide for both Lindsay and I, to protect us and not forget to buy those juice packs that you know we loved so much the next time you went to the store. Your unconditional love is truly unmatched.

You appreciate my ridiculously nerdy and dad-joke humor, and remind me not to bite my nails. You do things for me–and for anyone else–without any benefit for yourself. You are one of the most selfless, genuinely kind, big-hearted, caring and most amazing person I know, and I am proud to not only call you my mom and best friend, but my hero.


Here are just some of the ways you are just all of the best:

  1. You always come to my defense

When I was younger, this meant fighting my elementary school principal for not understanding my form of “advanced creative expression” during art class.Now, you even boldly offer to talk to my boss after I’ve had a bad day at work (which is something I would never actually consider). Regardless, your power to use your words in my defense has never failed me.

  1. You genuinely care about what I’m doing with my life

You: What do you want for dinner tonight, love?

Me: Geez Mom, I can’t think about my future right now!

You always dreamed big for me.

3. You’re the only one who cares if I wore a sweater

…Or brought an umbrella, or needed a tissue, or had a bad dream, or ate enough for dinner. You think about all the little stuff that has a big impact on my wellbeing. Without you, I’d probably still be wearing 5-year-old socks and surviving off stale cereal. Okay this week has been an exception, but to my defense, laundry and grocery shopping? Ain’t nobody got time for that!

4. You’ll always try to “get it,” even when you don’t

I can’t fault you for being older (30! Again!) and a little out-of-touch with my generation (despite your protests that you’re on Facebook and know how to text, badly. Just so bad).

In fact, your old school attitude is what keeps me grounded when I’m trying to explain Millennial-age practices, like why the boy I’ve been talking to for a month just ghosted me.

You might not fully understand me (What the heck is ghosting?!), but you still always try to give me the best advice (You don’t need him. You deserve better. Your “special one” is out there!)

5. You’ll always be the most fun person to get drunk with

Watching you get wasted is the parent-child equivalent of you watching me graduate from college or grad school — I’ve never felt prouder.

I kinda really love seeing you cut loose and then listening to you spill all the family secrets to me. Plus, I finally have a shared hobby that doesn’t involve watching “The Bachelor” or anything on the ID channel.

6. You’ll always give me the benefit of the doubt

You: Where did this crazy Barnes and Noble’s charge come from?

Me: It must have been that early birthday present you got me.

You: I am so thoughtful!

Yeahhh surrrre you betcha you are, mom!

7. You want to see me succeed without any reward to yourself

…Except maybe bragging rights at Bunko. There’s a reason you always made me do my homework — so that I would become a doctor/lawyer/CEO/kickass librarian and you could drive around the neighborhood with a bumper sticker.

8. You make me feel special

You’ll keep me on the phone for hours just to listen to the most trivial parts of my day (so Linda from Accounting brought tuna salad for lunch today and I’m still smelling it!) and take the time to stock up on my favorite foods (anything in the cookie/ice cream group, basically) when I’m come home.

You feel honored when I bring back my laundry for you to do and get weirdly excited when you get the chance to clean my apartment whenever you come out to visit me. I know I don’t say it enough, but thank you mom. These may seem like the littlest of things, but to me, they’re big. HUGE!

9. You were with me every single time I did something stupid

…If only because you were my first phone call. I still don’t know how my car ended up in the neighbor’s backyard!

10. You’ve seen it all

From my most embarrassing moments (like the time I flashed my Strawberry Shortcake skivvies during my fifth grade Christmas recital) to taking care of me when I’m grossly sick, I can really do anything in front of you and you won’t love me any less.

11. You won’t judge me for wearing my pajamas outside the house

But you’ll make sure I wash them before I (Heaven forbid!) get back into bed with the same pair on. Because #Priorities.

12. You want to know the bad news, too

You’re like Columbo, or a really cool Angela Landsbury — you’ll figure out what’s wrong no matter how many times I tell you that “it’s nothing.” You know just what to say or do to make me feel better, even if it’s just the warmest and greatest of bear hugs.

13. You’re the only person who knows how to shop for me

You were the first celebrity in my eyes. And while your style hasn’t influenced my own all that much, yet (there’s still a few years before I start wearing teacher sweaters and spritzing on the White Diamonds), I’ve always looked up to you for your ability to just be yourself, to create your own style, no matter what everyone else is or was doing.

You’re probably one of the only people in my life who buys me exactly what I want (*cough BOOKS cough*) — even if it’s some extra toilet paper and plastic Tupperware.

14. You’ve got stories that rival my stories

I may think I’m a total badass, but you will be quick to remind me that you’re way bad-asser.  I’ll never, ever, never ever forget where I got that shining personality from (I got it from my momma! I got it from my momma!).

15. You feel the feels

You have probably the biggest heart of anyone I know. You continually put others before yourself, you give, you worry, you care, you love. You’ve shown me through example that feeling all the feels isn’t a weakness, but a sign of strength. And for that I’ll be forever grateful.

On this, the eve of your birthday (30! AGAIN!), I want you to know just how much you mean, not only to me, but to everyone who is lucky and blessed enough to know you, to call you a friend, sister, daughter, co-worker, confidant, mentor, mom.

Words will never be able to do justice just how much I care about you, appreciate you, respect you, am impressed by you, just love you so damn much!

Happy birthday, mama!

I can’t wait to celebrate with you in just a few short weeks! 🙂






Comments on: "To the Greatest, Most Amazing, Kick-Ass Woman I Know—HAPPIEST BURFFDAY ;)" (6)

  1. Happy Birthday, Wendi’s Mom!

  2. Aww this was so awesome! Happy Birthday to your mom!

  3. Jeezo, I’m a little emotional and I don’t even know your mum! A very happy birthday to her!

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