I, Wendi Hansen, am a perpetual I’m sorry-er.
I’m not sure why or how, but I pretty much find myself uttering ‘I’m sorry’–three syllables, two words, one simple phrase—on the regular. Case-in-point: Just the other day I was driving with my friend and a car in the next lane cut me off. Instead of calling the idiot driver every four-letter name in the book, I apologized to him. For nearly ramming into me. Makes a whole lot of sense, no? I ‘I’m sorried’ outloud and my friend who knows me all too well, just smiled matter of factly and said, “You know they can’t hear you, right? And you also know that they are the ones who should be apologizing to you, right?”
But maybe they didn’t see me? I do drive somewhat stealth-like.
Or take a few days ago when I was grabbing some dinner with friends. The waitress brought out my food and the kitchen had accidentally screwed up my order. It wasn’t no thang but a chicken wang, but I found myself, once again, ‘I’m sorrying’ to the staff. For serving my burger practically mooing instead of well-done and super crispy like I had asked.
But maybe they didn’t hear me? My face was stuffed with free bread.
I know. I know!
I guess I’ve always been the kind of person who likes to make sure everyone else is okay before worrying about myself. I’d be the one to give my seat mate on the plane the oxygen mask first, the one to let that lady cut in the bathroom line even though I was definitely doing the potty dance hardcore, the one who would offer up that last piece of pizza, that glorious, ooey-gooey, cheesy and saucy last slice of pizza. I don’t like causing a commotion in the ocean, I don’t like confrontation, I don’t like harboring onto any negative feelings and I especially don’t like knowing there’s a possibility that someone, dare I say it, doesn’t like me.
Crap. Sorry, guys. It’s worse than I thought. I, Wendi Hansen, am a perpetual ‘I’m sorry-er’ and a people-pleaser.
Crap. I’m sorry for ‘I’m sorrying’ that.
Dammit! I’m sorry for ‘I’m sorrying’ THAT!
It’s a vicious cycle. In all honesty, I have gotten a lot better in both departments.
Okay. May not better, but I’m working on it. I’ve come to realize that there are certain things that one should never, ever, never ever feel the need to ‘I’m sorry’ :
20 Things You Should Never, Ever, Never Ever Apologize For:
- Asking that a mistake be corrected. Whether it’s a huge error your coworker made that you’re being blamed for–or the fact that you were handed the wrong venti-mocha-frapp-with extra whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles drink at Starbucks.
- Overdressing. Who says a girl can’t wear heels and that LBD to the grocery store?
- Asking for help. Strong people ask for help. Never, ever apologize for being strong.
- Getting up to use the bathroom on a crowded plan, no matter how dramatically the person in the aisle seat sighs. Because those aisle people are all about the drama. And because when you gotta go, you gotta go!
- Ordering dessert. And then proceeding to eat it all. Hey if you want a bite, get your own brownie sundae, bucko.
- Feeling the feels. Sad, happy, angry, disappointed, excited, scared. You’re human. You’re going to feel these things at some point. Most likely on more than one occasion (and probably all at once if you’re watching a Hallmark commercial). It’s okay to let yourself have these feelings.
- For not knowing the answer. The constant quest for knowledge is what keeps us excited, inspired to learn about the world around us.
- For knowing every word to every Hanson song ever. MmmBop or die!
- Someone else’s behavior. Other’s people’s actions are just that–theirs. As hard as it may be sometimes, don’t feel the need to apologize for their actions.
- Having a messy house/apartment/car. My place currently looks I was playing–and losing–a wicked game of Jumanji.
- Spending all of your discretionary income a trip to the Magical World of Harry Potter. Twice. Okay, three times. But it was soooooo worth it because Harry Potter. And because you need to treat yourself every once in a while. You’re an awesome person, you work hard. You deserve some OG butterbeer, dammit!
- Asking that dude on the subway to please remove his entire body weight from your pinkie toe. Because ouch.
- Saying “no”. No explanation or excuse necessary.
- Telling the truth. Being honest takes courage. Never, ever apologize for being courageous.
- Being passionate about something. Sports, Harry Potter, fashion, Harry Potter, Seinfeld, Harry Potter, animals, Harry Potter, traveling, Harry Potter. No matter what it is (HARRY POTTER!!!!), never, ever apologize for loving something, getting excited about something, total fan-girling (or fan-boying) out over something. You do you and if anyone doesn’t like or appreciate that, they’ll have to answer to me.
- Following a dream. A life lived with regret is yours to miss. Never apologize for going after the thing that makes you feel alive, makes you happy, makes your heart smile.
- Fully admitting to not being able to do it all. Y’all, life is hard. Work, school, having a social life, not to mention just trying to adult. It can get a bit much sometimes. You should never feel like you have to be superman (although no shame in wanting those tights). Do what you can, when you can. Let that be enough.
- Dancing. Badly. Never apologize for channeling your inner Elaine Benes. Life is all about dancing like no one is watching after all, and even if they are, running-man it out anyway!
- Your imperfections. That scar on your pinkie toe (thank you man on the subway), your lack of iron-chefness, or the way you snort-laugh whenever you’re nervous. All of these things are what make you special, unique. Never, ever apologize for that. And never, ever deny anyone the chance to get to know the real, amazing, incredible you!
- Loving someone. Celebrate the fact that you are able to love. There are many people in the world too scared to take a chance on love in the first place. It doesn’t matter who you love or if they love you back. The fact that you can love is what’s important.
Be true to who you are. And try (try being the operative word here–I’m constantly a work in progress in this area myself) to Hakuna Matata what others may think of you. It’s important to apologize when your actions or behavior warrant it, but when it doesn’t it, stand your ground, and be damn proud of the overdressed, Hanson-singing, Harry Potter-loving, bad-dancing, dessert-eating, perfectly imperfect person you are! Never, ever be sorry for that!
QOTD: What are some of the things you find yourself unnecessarily apologizing for?