My Awesomely Random Life (and Everything in Between)

Adulting

I’m a big, huge, gigantic believer in the power of faking it till you make it. Feeling a tad grumpy cat? Slap a smile on your face and watch your day turn around almost instantaneously. Feeling those butterflies before a first date? Put on a killer pair of heels and that LBD and let your fantabulous self shine! Have absolutely no idea how to get that project your boss just assigned done? Yeahhh no okay, I’d maybe actually ask your boss how to get that project done.

There’s power in believing in yo’self. If you don’t feel confident, if you’re scared or nervous, pretending you are until you gain the skills, experience and confidence you need to overcome that bad day, first date, or work scenario is for real, for real.

Another area that faking it till you make it applies is when you don’t have all of your shtuff together. I’d like to think that I’m a pretty well put together, and somewhat functioning adulting gal. And for the most part I am–ish. Hahahaha! Totally kidding. I’m just kind of winging it as I go. Aren’t we all in some way? That’s what makes life so fun. Making mistakes, first laughing at yourself and then learning from them, forever growing and changing.

I do however enjoy putting out the impression that I in all actuality have my shtuff together from time to time. A little boost to the ‘ol ego never hurt anybody.

Here are 21 ways that you can effortlessly fake having your shtuff together.

  1. Drink designer, bottled mineral water. The harder the brand name is to pronounce, the stronger the illusion is you actually know what you’re doing with your life. Or, pull a me and just find a fancy shmancy water bottle and fill it with H2O from the tap.
  2. Use a planner. Okay, so you don’t even really have to even write in it, but if you can confidently and honestly say the words, “Let me see if I can (literally) pencil you in,” nobody will ever doubt you again.
  3. Sleep in pajama sets.
  4. Pull your comforter over your messy sheets so that it looks like you actually managed to make your bed.
  5. Own a coffee table book. Preferably one about coffee table books.
  6. Hang up to-do lists on your fridge of things you’ve already accomplished and cross those mothers off.
  7. Prop a yoga mat up against your dresser. Even if you have never or ever plan on taking a yoga class in your life.
  8. Own an iron. Even though you just use your hair straightener at the last minute when you realize how obvious the creases in your shirt are, owning an iron looks like you at least have minimal domestic capabilities.
  9. Read The Daily Beast’s Cheat Sheet or get The Skimm emailed to your inbox every morning, so that you gather a gist of what’s going on in the world, sans the hilariously amazing cat YouTube video you watched on the repeat for two hours. And only refer to the sources of your news knowledge as “this article I read.”
  10. Play classical music (the Harry Potter soundtrack totally works).
  11. Own a phone that doesn’t have a cracked screen.
  12. Ladies, match your undies to your bra. Even if no body knows but you (and your creepy AF neighbor who you caught looking through your window this morning), it’ll give you a much needed pep to your step.
  13. Drink wine out of a real wine glass instead of a mug.
  14. Own stationary. An elegant fountain pen is a plus.
  15. Read a book in public places—preferably a beaten up, softcover copy of something like Franny and Zooey. 100 bonus points if you do so wearing glasses and a scarf.
  16. Put spices and herbs into trendy mason jars. Sure, they won’t go well with the cereal you definitely eat almost every night out of a paper bowl (or box), but think of the **aesthetic.**
  17. Actually, even if you just own herbs and can identify them, you’re already impressive.
  18. Place some throw pillows on your couch. Avoid cushions with pom pom fringe.
  19. Have at least one decorative bowl in your house filled with lemons.
  20. At minimum, one potted plant (like a fern) should sit daintily on your windowsill. Confession: even my flowers are fake.

Trust me, guys. Fake it till you make it.

QOTD: What are some of the ways you FITYMI?

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Comments on: "How to fake having your shtuff together" (12)

  1. Yes! And so much yes to #10! The Harry Potter soundtrack definitely counts as classical music! I have a work playlist of that and Lord of the Rings. Very classy.

  2. This. Is. Everything. Adore you!!! But I might have to stop reading your blog while I’m standing in public…my insane chuckling to myself is a bit disconcerting to the natives!

  3. I fake it at work by typing really fast and hard on the keyboard when I’m answering comments so it looks like I’m typing lots of things for something very important.

  4. This is great! I love everything on this list. But sadly, I will never own a phone that doesn’t have a cracked screen. It’s just not in the cards for me. I drop my phone and crack the screen within the first month of purchase. ALL. THE. TIME.

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