My Awesomely Random Life (and Everything in Between)

In honor of National Dog Day (which in my opinion should all day, errr day), I thought I’d share with you guys some crazy awesome and kinda, sorta, really surprising facts about our favorite furry and four-legged friends.

  1. Dogs poop in strict alignment with the Earth’s south-south magnetic field. A 2013 study that examined “70 dogs” and “1,893 defecations” concluded that dogs always align their bodies with the Earth’s north-south axis when taking a poop. Humans don’t defecate with nearly the same amount of geomagnetic precision. *Humans except me of course
  2. Two dogs, 6 years, 66,000 puppies. If you took one male and one female dog and never neutered them or any of their descendants, that pair would be responsible for producing 66,000 puppies in only six years. That is a lot of puppies! And a lot of action!
  3. Dogs can fall in love just like humans do. Oxytocin—known variously as the “love hormone” and the “cuddle hormone”—is released by dog brains too. It enables them to fall in love with both dogs and humans. Aweeee!t4
  4. They can actually smell how you’re feeling. Dogs have millions more scent receptors than humans do, and they are able to detect subtle changes in your perspiration’s chemical composition that reveal your emotional state. If you don’t want them to know how you’re feeling, maybe you should shower every once in a while. Just saying.
  5. Dogs are capable of deception. According to canine-intelligence expert Stanley Coren, “They can also deliberately deceive, which is something that young children only start developing later on in their life. Psh. And you thought only the guys on Tinder were liars!
  6. They can read your motions merely by looking at your face. Besides humans, dogs are the only mammals in the animal kingdom who are able to determine your mood simply by your facial expressions. Cats not only aren’t able to tell—they wouldn’t even care if they could.
  7. They have magical [Harry Potter] powers that enable them to predict the future. Dogs can tell that a storm is coming an hour before you’re standing there soaked in the rain because you forgot to bring your umbrella. Again.
  8. The world’s biggest pet collector owned 5,000 dogs. Mongolian emperor Kublai Khan was said to have owned 5,000 Mastiffs, which would have easily qualified him to be on a modern episode of Hoarders. He was also living out my dream.
  9. The smallest dog ever…According to The Guinness Book of World Records, a two-year-old Yorkshire Terrier in Great Britain weighed only four ounces and stood a mere 2.5 inches tall at the shoulder. What a tiny little monster!
  10. The oldest dog ever…In 2013, a Louisiana beagle/terrier mix named Max died just 83 days short of his 30th birthday. That’s equivalent to 210 human years!
  11. Their paws really do smell like Frito’s. I knew it! The reason for this is that dogs only sweat between their paw pads. The sweat gets mixed up with dirt, which leads to bacteria growth, which in turn makes their paws smell like everyone’s favorite corn chip.
  12. Their owners can be sickeningly sweet and sappy. Four-fifths of dog owners buy their pets presents for holidays and birthdays. Seventy percent of them sign their dog’s name on greeting cards. Sixty percent of them even pose with their dogs for family portraits. And a full third of dog owners “talk” to their dogs on the phone or leave voicemail messages for them while they’re away. I am certain NOT one of these people. *I am the BIGGEST one of these people in the history of ever.t5
  13. All dogs are descended from a 40-million-year-old tree-dwelling weasel. That’s right. I said weasel. All modern dogs can trace their ancestry back to a “weasel-like animal” known as the Miacis. This odd little tree-dwelling creature is the forebearer of the wolf and jackal. All modern dogs share 99.9% of their DNA with wolves, who started intermingling with humans around 12,000 years ago. You may not realize it, but there’s a wild savage beast sleeping in your den right now. The more you know.
  14. They are able to smell prostate cancer with 98% accuracy. Don’t even ask how this is achieved, because I’m already traumatized by the mental images. But not only can dogs sniff out various cancers, they can tell when their owner is going to have a seizure about 45 minutes before the event, which in many cases can be life-saving. Just another reason why dogs are the bestest.
  15. Dogs wag their tails to the left when scared and to the right when happy. And they wag them low when they’re scared and fast when ready to attack.
  16. They are as smart, if not smarter than two-year-old children. The average dog can understand around 150 words. They can also count up to five. And unlike human children, it takes less than two years to potty-train them.
  17. Dogs are born deaf, toothless and blind. All puppies are born without hearing, without sight, and without teeth. What’s miraculous is that despite all this, they choose to go on living. Your biggest source of inspiration is sitting on your lap at this very moment, just waiting for you to drop your sandwich.
  18. They can get super jelly just like humans do. A study at UC San Diego showed that when a dog’s owner showed affection to a stuffed animal, the dogs would get more aggressive and display more attention-seeking behavior toward their owners.
  19. Dogs are able to dream as vividly as humans. When you see your dog twitching and whimpering while asleep and suspect that he’s dreaming, you’re probably right. Brain-wave tests on sleeping dogs are remarkably similar to those of humans. Bet you didn’t know that. What you probably also didn’t know is that your dog also constantly dreams of Chris Hemsworth swooping in on a white horse and asking him/her to run away with him. t2
  20. The smaller the dog, the longer the life. In general, those tiny yippy lapdogs live about twice as long as those massive dinosaur-like Great Danes and Mastiffs. Canine longevity is also correlated to snout length—flat-faced breeds such as pugs and bulldogs tend to die younger than dogs with long noses.
  21. Media still discriminates against female dogs. Call it the “Glass Kennel.” The “male” dog Toto in The Wizard of Oz was played by a female Cairn Terrier named Terry. The “male” Taco Bell dog is a female Chihuhua named Gidget. This reminds me of how guys used to play all the male and female roles in Shakespeare plays. When will this sexist madness end?
  22. The dog days of summer. This term dates back to the Roman Empire, when Sirius—the “dog star,” not the satellite radio channel—typically rose from around July 3 to August 11.t3
  23. Guys with dogs are three times more likely to get a girl’s digits. Fellas, take note. The British Psychological Society published a 2000 study that revealed walking with your dog triples the amount of social interactions you have. It also makes you three times more likely to walk away with a girl’s phone number than if you’d been walking alone. I totally agree. There is something about a guy with a dog that makes me melt. Bonus points if he just happens to be Chris Hemsworth.
  24. Nearly 100,000 Americans visit the hospital every year after tripping on their dog or their dog’s toys. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that an average of 86,629 Americans visit the emergency room each year after a fall caused by pets or their pets’ playthings. It was the Kong, with the peanut butter, in the kitchen!
  25. I really do have the best one of them all. 🙂 Dogs can bring so much unconditional joy and love into your every days and every nights. They have this uncanny way of making you feel better by simply just being their zany, crazy selves. If you have had or have a dog like my Thunder in your life, consider yourself one of the lucky ones. My heart has never been so full and my smiles and laughter have never been so great. Thunder balls, I love you buddy!t1
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Comments on: "25 Facts About [Wo]Man’s Best Friend I’ll Bet You Never Knew" (2)

  1. Aww love this! Dogs are the best. And the pics are adorable!!

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