I’m getting old, guys.
Like, ‘in bed by 9 o’clock, gets hurt while playing kickball, can’t remember if I ate lunch so I eat second lunch’ old.
I’m half way into my 28th year and while for the most part I still feel and look my age, I definitely have my moments where I can’t help but feel like I’m inching ever so slightly over that damn hill. Despite my incessant complaining however, I’m glad I’m in the place in life that I am. It may have taken me a while to get here, but I finally have learned to embrace the things I want, and don’t want. The things I like, and don’t like. Life is way too short to worry about things that aren’t worth worrying about.
Here are just 15 signs that you literally don’t give a f@*& now that you’re almost 30.
1. When people invite you to social outings that you don’t want to go to, you don’t come up with any particular excuse. You just say, “No.” And it feels glorious.
2. When you experienced a friend getting engaged for the first time, you were like, “OMFG WEDDINGS YASSS LOVE!!!” But now when it happens, you’re just like, “Aw. I’m so happy for you. Brb. I need to order a pizza.”
3. Forever 21 is a young man’s game. If a retail store stresses you out and only carries clothes that seem to be made for American Girl dolls, you’re donzo.
4. You’ve started referring to high school students as “children” or “youths.”
5. You don’t make any attempts to hide your hangovers anymore. They happen so easily (like, 2-3 beers easily) that you don’t even fight them. You just let them take over your soul.
6. Your weight fluctuates more than Chandler’s. And it’s whatever.
7. In your opinion, looking like you showered is the same thing as actually showering.
8. “Does anyone have any Pepto?” is something you frequently utter during dinner with your friends.
9. Brunch has become more about the quality of the bacon than about the deals you can get on bottomless mimosas.
10. Nope. Scratch that. It’s still all about the mimosas.
11. When someone tries to start a political discussion at a party, you just look at them like:
12. Dressing uncomfortably is awkward for tweens. These days, you’re all about wearing your favorite t-shirt during a night out.
13. You’re less concerned with how good you look for work today and more concerned with how long you can hit the snooze button before you have to
crawl drag yourself kicking and screaming out of your bedroom cave.
14. Life is stressful these days. So if you need a good cry while riding public transportation, you’re damn well certain you’ll make it happen.
15. Joining a gym is for recent college grads. You’d prefer to just live in a 4th-floor walk up and leave the house every once in a while.
Or, I mean, you could just join a debilitating kickball team.
QOTD: What are some things that you just don’t give a f@*& about now that you’ve reached a certain age?