…all of the worst, isn’t it? I mean, the amount of energy and effort that is takes today kinda makes a girl realize that maybe, just maybe, her single lifestyle isn’t so bad.
Okay. So it can be fun and exciting and will give you those amazing butterfly feelings in the pit of your stomach, but dating is also exhausting. Just so very mentally and physically and emotionally draining. Being single on the other hand? Yeahhh not so much.
Here are just 15 reasons why dating is soooo 2014:
1. The rolodex of first-date questions are all the same.
Am I having deja vu, or have I asked these questions far too many times? Where are you from? Where’d you go to school? Do you have any siblings? What do you like to do for funnsies? That’s it. The next time I go on a date I’m pulling out the tough-hitting questions. Like, “What are your thoughts on existentialism?” and “Oreos or Chips-A-Hoy?”
2. It usually takes way too many dates with a person until you feel truly comfortable around them.
Is the third date too soon to let him hear my insanely awkward man laugh snort? How long until you think it will be okay for me to burp in front of him [accidentally of course because I’m a lady HAHAHAHA]? My guess is way longer than I’m willing to hide any of my absurdly embarrassing behaviors.
3. You’re constantly trying to say all of the right things.
They key is to be yourself, everyone knows that. But that’s easier said than done, my friends. Just remember, there’s not a necessarily wrong or right thing to say, there’s just what comes out of your mouth (and how it comes out of your mouth), and the way he chooses to respond. “So….uhhh…umm…yeah….do you…ahhh…is there a…can we….HIPPO!!”
4. Picking out what to wear is quite the process.
Is this skirt too short? Oh God, he will never look me in the eyes in this top. Are jeans too casual? Wow, for a closet full of clothes, I have absolutely NOTHING to wear.
5. And don’t even get me started on the hair.
I think I’m just going to wear my hair au natural. Beachy waves are in, right? I can almost hear my frizzy curls answer back to me…Ugh! Where is my straightener? And hair spray?!
6. Or shoes.
The one night you decide to rock those 6 inch pumps is the one night you’re set up with the guy two inches shorter than you…in flats. Either that, or he takes you hiking or mini golfing and your feet look like they’ve been through WWIII by the end of the night.
7. What do you drink?
If I order tequila, will he think I’m nuts? Damn, this dress is way too tight for beer. Whiskey says I can hang with the boys. “Yeah, I’ll have a Jack and Coke.” *Sip* Ew. No. I hate whiskey.
8. Or eat?!
Salad is the healthy option, but eating lettuce gracefully is like competing The American Ninja Warrior Challenge. Mmm that burger sounds amazing, but I’ll probably end up having some type of condiment smeared on my face, and he’ll be too nice to point it out, so I’ll spend the next three-four hours with a mustard mustache. Do fries count as dinner?
9. You try to prepare answers to said same questions ahead of time.
You know exactly what he’s going to ask you (*see #1 above), and you try to think about your answers before he does. Favorite movie: that’s entirely too difficult. Favorite movie: that’s even more difficult! Not even preparing ahead of time will save you.
10. But you never know what to talk about when you’re done asking questions.
11. And you end up forgetting half of the things he tells you because you’re really, REALLY attracted to him.
While he’s telling you all about his job, all you can think about is how cute his smile is. OMG is that a dimple?! He’s adorable! “Oh, so what were you saying about sales?”
12. You just hate talking about yourself this much.
Your date obviously wants to get to know you, but even you are tired of hearing your life story. “But enough about me, tell me about yourself.” He probably feels the exact same way. Now what?
13. Saying goodbye is always so awkward.
Is he going to try and kiss me? Is it weird to shake his hand? The handshake is totally weird. Oh, phew, he’s going in for a hug. Wait, is this just a hug? Is he turning his head? This. Is. So. Awkward.
14. And then you wait.
So the date went well. You think. And he said “We should definitely do this again sometime!” And you definitely think he meant it. Now the question is, do you wait for him to text you? Or do you text him?! And if you do decide to take charge and be the first one to reach out, how long do you wait? An hour? A day? A week? This is too much. TOO MUCH!!
15. But then you get that text/call that changes everything.
“Hey! I had a great time the other night. You want to meet up for dinner Friday night?” AHHHHHHHH!!!! I LOVE DATING!!!!!