There are only a few things that are slightly more terrifying than diving head first into a new relationship, like realizing you’ve run out of Oreos or finding a nest of giant spiders under your bed–both of which happened to me last week and I’m still having nightmares, mostly about the Oreo situation.
But there’s also few things as exciting as starting a whole new adventure with someone you really, really like (such as going to the Magical World of Harry Potter for the first time or finding out the third season of New Girl is on Netflix). Being scared and excited for a brand new relationship isn’t an out-of-the-ordinary thing by any means; I think that everyone has these feelings at some point.
New relationships are kind of like a new pair of shoes. The first few weeks after you make the big purchase on those beautiful sling backs or super cool running shoes, you are all about those new shoes, wearing then with anything and everything that’s in your closet. You are also very careful anytime you are wearing or are around your new shoes; you don’t want to make a wrong move or take the wrong step [into dog poo] for fear of getting them dirty or damaged.
The same goes for relationships.
Whether it’s a promising first date or three weeks down the line, the chances of those oh-my-gosh-what-if-I-do-something-to-royally-embarrass-myself feelings are very real. You’re going to constantly be nervous: trying not to burp [too loud] in front of them, specifically not eating BBQ ribs around in front of them (there is NO cute way to eat ribs), and always worrying about how many ‘dad jokes’ are too many (trick question: you can never tell too many ‘dad jokes’). There is a subconscious fear that you will say or do something that will make the other person think differently of you, change their minds about you, wonder why they had ‘swiped right’ in the first place. As it turns out, those feelings are completely warranted. According to article by Lisa Daily called “Dating Averages: What’s Your Normal?”, the most common time for break-ups is between three to five months. For the first part of your relationship, being dumped is like the very large pink elephant in the room, the awkward third wheel who keeps eating you and your dates’ fries.
On the flip side this however, is the incredibly amazing feeling you get when you first start a new relationship. It’s more exciting that Christmas morning. More exhilarating than going down that roller-coaster with your hands up in the air. More thrilling than finding out that shirt you were
coveting drooling over for so long finally went on sale. Those permanent butterflies will never get annoying, the feeling of their hand in yours will always make you smile and the way they look at you will continuously make you melt. Everyday with them is the beginning of some new, thrill-seeking ride. The mystery, the intrigue, the newness of it all is enthralling; you aren’t yet in a routine and you aren’t so in-sync yet that you’ll know what they’ll do or say next–it’s the unknown! And it’s so very exciting!
I’m not saying that taking the plunge isn’t easy by any means. Not knowing what’s going to happen, what the outcome will be, if he/she will reciprocate our feelings for us? That can be scary. Really. really. scary. But that fear of losing a relationship shouldn’t ever deter you away from trying, from leaping into what could be a beautiful thing. As Babe Ruth taught us: “Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.” Putting yourself out there and opening up your heart is always a gamble, a risk, but in my opinion, it’s a risk worth taking. It could be one of the greatest things in your life, or it may not work out. But either way, you’re learning, you’re growing.
Nerves are normal, expected even.
In fact, I think it’s in a way crucial that you have those butterflies, those palm sweats, those oh-my-gosh-what-if-I-do-something-to-royally-embarrass-myself feelings about a person. It means you like them, you’re invested in them, you care enough about them to butterfly, sweat, oh-my-gosh yourself.
So get out there! Put on that new pair of shoes, take a deep breath, and jump!
You never know what you might find waiting for you on the other side.