Ever since I was little, I’ve had this weird fascination with words. Maybe it’s the inner-writer (and very outer booknerd) in me, but there is just something about a particular set of letters and symbols that when strung together, create something with meaning, with power, that gets me really excited.
And by excited, I mean really excited. I have a “Word of the Day” calendar on my desk at work, and I may or may not get an unusually high level of satisfaction when I roll into school every morning, eagerly anticipating the reveal of that day’s word (Ingurgitate: to swallow something greedily–as in “I ingurgitated my morning
2 3 4 cups of java”).
In an age of LOLs, emojis and “baes” (I have a feeling Shakespeare would be rolling over topsy-turvey in his grave if he heard the way we speak today), I think we’ve forgotten what it’s like to use real language, to forgo actual words and instead express our feelings and opinions in a hub-bub of abbreviations and hashtags. There are a billion kajillion (a slight guesstimate) words out there at our disposal, yet we choose to stick to the same old boring verbiage. I mean, Ben & Jerry’s vanilla is great, but every once in a while a girl’s got to dabble in some Chunky Monkey and Cherry Garcia.
I’m definitely not innocent in this; it’s damn hard to resist a good winky face every now and then and sometimes a quick BRB is necessary. Lately however, I’ve tried to become more aware of how I say things, the words I use, and the context in which I use them (enter in said amazing “Word of the Day” calendar). I’m hoping that by spicing up my vocab a notch, I’ll not only have a stronger language arsenal, but those words will start to rub off on others, in turn spicing up theirs as well, creating this wildfire of awesome verbiage.
To kick things off, I thought I would share just a few of these words that you can start using in your every day convos, words that are so beautifully unique and strange and delicious, you can’t help but get a brain freeze (for all the right reasons).
Think Chunky Monkey and Cherry Garcia.
Check out the following 15 weird and wonderful words you can start using NOW:
1. Absquatulate (v.): To leave somewhere abruptly.
Shut the front door. Target’s having a sale on shoes?!?! Let me just grab my purse and we can absquatulate!
2. Borborgymus (adj.): A rumbling or gurgling in the stomach/intestines.
That awkward moment when you let out a echoing borborgymus during your morning meeting. How long until lunch again?
3. Callypigian (adj.): Having a shapely buttocks.
As Megan Trainor so amazingly says, “It’s all about that
4. Edacious (adj.): Having to do with eating or fond of eating.
My hobbies include ice cream, cookies, ice cream and copious amounts of Chipotle. I guess you could say I’m a tad edacious.
5. Humdudgeon (n): An imaginary or made-up illness.
Come Monday morning, I think everyone turns into a bit of a humdudgeon. “Sorry boss, I can’t come into work today; it seems I’ve caught that darn Game of Thrones-itis that’s been going around.”
6. Panurgic (adj.): Able or ready to do anything.
Come 5 o’clock on a Friday afternoon however, suddenly we’re just all of the panurgic. “Did I hear somebody say ‘Shots!Shots! Shots! Shotsshotsshots!’?”
7. Quiff (n): Sudden puff or gust of wind.
I was rocking that fantabulous hair day until that quiff decided to get all quiffy.
8. Razzmatazz (n): Meaningless talk; nonsense.
And the award for the most epic razzmatazz pre-coffee goes to Wendi!
9. Saprostomous (n): Having bad breath.
To all the fellas out there, just a word of advice: Before you lay on the romantic first kiss, maybe consider popping a few Altoids. Nothing kills the mood faster than a bad case of saprostomous.
10. Scintillant (adj): Sparkling; to have sparkle.
The way my eyes look when the waitor/waitress brings out my food is simply scintillant.
11. Temporicide (v): Killing and/or wasting time.
Netflix: the best/worst temporicide in the history of ever.
12. Undern (n): Light, midday meal.
To prevent any awkward tummy rumblings (*see borborgymus), it’s wise to have regular underns (preferably in the form of a burrito).
13. Unzymotic (adj): Fabulous.
I just came back from the most unzymotic *vacation.
*trip to Whole Foods.
14. Wanchancy (adj): Unlucky.
How is it that I end up wearing more of my lunch than what actually makes it into my mouth? I guess I’m just wanchancy. Okay, well that, and I’m just
kind of really messy.
15. Zazzy (adj): Stylish; with style.
But I’d like to think that it’s the Cheeto dust on my skirt and chocolate stains on my shirt that make me the zazzy icon that I am.
Consider your Scrabble game on fleek.