My Awesomely Random Life (and Everything in Between)

My brain on dating

Dating is awesome.

It can be fun, exciting, and surprising. There’s nothing quite like getting those first “getting to know someone, what should I wear, holy crap is my hair alright?!” butterflies pterodactyls in your stomach.

Dating is awesome.

But it can also suck like a vacuum.

In case you were looking for another reason — Reason #623, let’s call it —  why dating can be the absolute WORST:

Let’s think about the brain. We’ll use mine as an example. Okay. So on any average given day — here’s today’s — my brain is thinking about that book that I just read (Before I Go, which was btw sooooo super good, but just a warning, it WILL make you feel all the feels), sandwiches, what book books I’m going to read next, sandwiches, mindlessly staring at things, work, sandwiches, existential mucking around, and bodily functions.

There’s a lot going on in there.

Compare that to my brain on dating:my-brain-date1

It’s incredibly irritating. I don’t want to believe that it’s true. I hate hate hate that it’s true. But honestly? It’s kind of true. I sit around, aimlessly waiting for a phone call, a text, a sign, ANY sign that the date went well and he likes me, he really likes me! And I KNOW it’s not just me who does this. Right?


My rational brain knows that it’s statistically unlikely that it’s ever going to work out. My rational brain is trying to evaluate this person based upon their personality, attractiveness, sense of humor, charisma, intelligence, and appeal. My rational brain is trying to process a lot of information — so tell me about your job! where did you grow up? how many siblings do you have? do you randomly sprout out Seinfeld quotes on the regular too?! – and see if there’s a connection, a compatibility. My rational brain is telling me to take things slowly. My rational brain is telling me to chill the vanilla cupcake out already!

My emotional brain however, well, it’s taken on a life of it’s own. My emotional brain just picked out the floral arrangements at our wedding. My emotional brain is naming our kids and deciding between the suburbs or the city. My emotional brain is the all of the WORST.

By the time I remember that I’m still on a date and focus back on the conversation and the actual person sitting in front of me, inevitably I’ve said something weird and the moment’s over and I’ve totally blown it and there’s truly no way of explaining what just happened and then I wonder why the good ones never call me back.


So yeah. This is why I’m sorta kinda bad at this whole dating thing.

And more to the point — this is why I don’t do this all that often. It gets exhausting, losing your brain like that. Even if only for a few days.

But despite what it does to my brain,  and my usually pristine amount of “sandwich thinking time”, dating is pretty awesome.

The butterflies, the dinners, the long romantic walks on the beach. (Is that still a thing?! I need to find a beach.)

It’s all awesome.

I just need to mash up my rational brain and emotional brain, a super-dating hybrid if you will (I may even wear bring out the tights and cape). I need to calm the vanilla cupcake down, have fun, and see where this whole dating thinng takes me.

I may have an incredibly awkward time.

I may meet the man of my dreams.

But no matter what, it’ll be a chance to learn, a chance to grow, a chance to wear that LBD that’s been taking up dust in my closet.




Comments on: "My brain on dating" (10)

  1. I hate dating. I hate everything about it. Here’s a text that I inevitably send to my best friend any time I find myself going on a date: “I really, really, really, really don’t want to do this. What’s a good and believable excuse I can give to get out of this?” I know I need to be more open with dating but it just makes me so nervous and usually never ends well that i find myself saying, what’s the point?

    • Ugh. I hear you, girlfriend! It’s just awful, isn’t it? And first dates are the absolute worst. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten home from a really bad date, only to completely regret wasting the last three hours of my life when I could have been at home, in my sweats with Netflix and a tub of ice cream. However…out of every 10 (0) terrible, horrible, no-good, rotten and very bad dates, there is always one that makes you believe that hey, this whole dating thing isn’t so bad.

  2. This is EXACTLY what dating feels like 🙂
    I always get slightly irritated when watching movies and reading books where dating is described as the best thing ever. Maybe it is if you’re a masochist …
    Even the “effortless” dating where you meet someone and it just clicks is super stressful and terrifying for the first several months.
    But with your positive attitude and amazing outlook on life I am sure it will work out  You’ve already got quite the leg up just for being so awesome!

  3. I love your site! I reached here from your Hello Giggles article! Wishing you the best with dating, you are fabulous and deserve the best!

  4. Dating sucks. Any boy who doesn’t call you back is an idiot!

  5. I must be an oddball here. But – I loved dating. Then again – I didn’t date much. So- perhaps that’s why I loved dating when I did. LOL

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