Maybe it’s because my friends and I are closer to 30 than we are to 20, but recently, I’ve caught us saying things that make me feel like I deserve to wear orthopedic shoes. Tell me we’re not the only ones…
1. “Kids these days.”
2. “Why does this concert start so late?”
3. “Are we supposed to stand for the entirety of said concert?”
4. “No more drinks tonight, I’ve got errands to run in the morning.”
5. “Want to come over on Friday? We can order takeout and watch Dateline.”
6. “Did her parents really let her out of the house dressed like that?!”
7.”My kids won’t have iPhones until high school.”
8. “These shoes are really comfortable”
9. “Please don’t call me ma’am.”
10. “Back when I was in college…”
11. “I did 15 pushups yesterday and there’s a very high chance I am never going to be able to feel my arms again.”
12. “So I was listening to NPR on my way into work….”
We also discuss things like 401k’s and taxes and investing and it’s weird. I also chose to purchase a sophisticated bar of chocolate with sea salt caramel instead of a Kit Kat the other night and I almost wanted to slap myself.
But so help me, Pete. If I ever, EVER turn into one of those old people who complain about their baked potato being too cold at a restaurant or who regularly talk about their bowel movements (especially when they are not regular–if you know what I mean), just end me right then and there.
Please and thank you.