Why it’s OKAY to be single during the holidays

Imagine this.

You’re at a family member’s house. They’re throwing a grand Chrismakwanukkah/New Year’s shindig, and because you don’t want to look completely anti-social, sitting alone in a corner talking to yourself about bills that are due and clothes that need to be washed, you attempt to make small talk. You approach your aunt or second cousin once removed, and after brief introductory conversation, the first thing that comes out of one of their mouth is,

“So…are you seeing anyone?”

There it is.

You knew it was inevitable.

It’s that one question that everyone may not want to ask per say, but it’s the one question that they seem to always want the answer to.

I hate this question. Like, enough-to-spit-out-a-quick-answer-or-circle-around-it-altogether-moving-onto-the-next-forced-question-which-is-most-likely-something-like- “Hasn’t this weather been crazy?”-or-“How about that Aaron Rodgers?”-hate.

Here’s what I’d like to say:

Actually, I’m very happy being single at the moment. I recently started a new job and am living in a new city; it’s been a blast just being able to meet people and make new friends. I’m not on the hunt for a boyfriend right now, but if a guy with the personality of Jimmy Fallon and the looks of Chris Hemsworth walks into my life (or bookstore—there’s nothing more sexy than a guy who reads, am I right, ladies?), I am totally open to seeing where things go.

Here’s what I actually end up saying:

Um…uh..well…the thing is…

Smooth, Wendi. Real smooth.

I hate this question because one, I don’t really have a one-word answer. And two, since when has my singledom, or anyone else’s for that matter, defined who I am? Who anyone is?

I’m turning the big 2-8 in a few months and realize that I am at the age now where a lot most of my friends from grade school, high school and college are getting married or popping out little kiddos. And honestly, I couldn’t be happier for them. I actually cannot wait till I get to that point in my life when I find the man of my dreams, settle down, and start a family.

It’s also a time of year where everywhere you look, couples are sharing cups of hot chocolate, cozzying up by the fireplace, and kissing under the mistletoe. The holidays do bring about an air of romance and love, if not for the super sexy onesie pajamas that are a must-wear, then it’s the beautiful snow landscapes that are reminiscent of any Fabio book cover.

Plus, the with the holidays comes many a party and get-together. And with these parties and get-togethers comes the opportunity to reconnect with old friends and meet some really great new people. You never know what could happen (especially if you happen to be wearing one of those super cute onesies). I think you should always be open to meeting someone special, to forming a relationship and maybe even falling in the “L” word.

But I also think it’s okay to be a bit selfish.

You need and deserve time to focus on yourself.

To discover your passions and talents and goals and dreams outside of anybody else.

After all, you want to make sure that when you do enter a relationship, you’re the best possible version of yourself that you can be.

Right?

Right.

So ladies–and gents–this year, I give you full permission to be single and ready to mingle (and jingle all the way)!

But if you happen to run into a Jimmy Fallon/Chris Hemsworth mashup in your local bookstore…give me directions to that bookstore STAT!