Germs are real, folks.
Tiny baby bugs, squiggly creepy-crawlers and mini-millipedes are camping under your nails, hot-tubbing in your sweaty palms and putting their feet up in your fingers.
Coughs and colds jump hand to hand and mouth to mouth, latching onto you through handshakes, high-fives, and those dreaded bathroom door handles.
Basically, anytime you finish scrubbing your hands in a food court bathroom, it’s time to get out without germing yourself up using some old-classic stand-byes:
1. Paper Pusher. Here’s where you use crumpled paper towel on the door handle to avoid full contact. Of course, now you’ve got to find a garbage can or toss the paper towel on the floor like a litterbug, also known as providing passive-aggressive feedback to management about where to put trash cans. Bad style points.
2. The Sleeve Saver. This is when you furrow your brows, shake your head, and curl your fraying hoodie sleeve over your hand while reaching for the door. Wow you can walk away with clean paws but could have a urine stained shirt to show for it. Bad style points.
3. Bum First. If you’re lucky enough to get a push door, you can always back into it with your plump, doughy booty instead of touching it with your hands. Be careful though; you might smack an unsuspecting someone in the face while looking the wrong way. Bad style points.
Bottom line (pun intended)–getting out of the bathroom without getting all virused up isn’t easy. So when you find yourself washing hands besides someone else, it’s time to start slow-racing them so you can hitch a ride to their train and follow them out. Soap strong, dry slowly and squeeze out right behind them, making sure to use the classis Toe Hold Move to wedge your foot in that quickly closing door. Now just smile and zoom outta there with an empty bladder, clean hands, and a bright future.
Great style points.
Speaking of AWESOME, and bathrooms, and AWESOME bathrooms, just take a look at some of these babies. I think I’ve definitely just added some more items to check off on my to-doo-doo list! 😉