Hey, there’s a lot to get done around here.
What, you thought those books on top of the toilet were just going to organize themselves (Yes. I keep books on top of my toilet. And in my car. And in my purse. And on my nightstand. And on the kitchen table. You never know when you’ll get a hunkering for a good read, am I right?!) Huh, and I suppose the shower curtain would magically get pulled out and straightened by the same invisible bathroom butler too, right?
But seriously though; isn’t is all about maximizing time while you’re swish-swashing away at your pearly yellows? I mean, you get the basic motions down after the first few hundred practices. After that, you might as well profit off of your mad skills by doing a little bit of multitasking. If this sounds at all like you, then congratulations my dear friend: You may be a toothpaste stroller.
Toothpaste strollers don’t have a worry in the world; they know their molars aren’t going anywhere so they check email, set the alarm clock or put on pajama bottoms all the while brushing away. I mean, just look at this picture of a baby brushing her teeth WHILE getting potty trained. Folks, it’s like I always say: We can learn so much from the baby.
Now, if you’re like me, then whatever you do while you’re brushing your teeth ends up taking much longer than normal. And it can be incredibly awkward.
But that’s part of the fun. I mean, say you’re taking off your socks with one hand while brushing with the other — well, that’s like two minutes of awkward hopping and peeling while your actual brushing loses focus and maybe even slips out of your mouth a few times (hello toothpaste mustache). You end up grabbing the counter before you slip, a half-peeled sock on your foot and a few foamy streaks across your lips. You just have to laugh.
Because you’ll get it eventually.
And when you do, you’ll become an official member of the Toothpaste Stroller Club. Fellow members, you know what I’m talking about. You know that multitasking while brushing your toophers scratches a small Type A part of your brain just the right way.
Yes, because instead of examining your zits or flaring your nostrils in the mirror, you can feel super satisfied that as you can spit that puddle of foamy Colgate into the sink, that dog-eared pile of Harry Potters on top of your toilet is just as organized and ready for bed as you are.