You’re at a family member’s house. They’re throwing some kind of party celebrating some birthday/holiday/anniversary/wedding, and because you don’t want to look completely anti-social, sitting alone in a corner talking to yourself about bills that are due and clothes that need to be washed, you attempt to make small talk. You approach your aunt or second cousin once removed, and after brief introductory conversation, the first thing that comes out of one of their mouths is,
“So…are you seeing anyone?”
It’s the one question that everyone may not want to ask per say, but it’s the one question that they seem to always want the answer to.
I hate this question. Like, enough-to-spit-out-a-quick-answer-or-circle-around-it-altogether-moving-onto-the-next-forced-question-which-is-most-likely-something-like- “Hasn’t this weather been crazy?”-or-“How about those Brewers?”-hate.
Here’s what I’d like to say:
Actually, I’m very happy being single at the moment. I recently started a new job and am living in a new city; it’s been a blast just being able to meet people and make new friends. I’m not on the hunt for a boyfriend right now, but if a guy with the personality of Jimmy Fallon and the looks of Chris Hemsworth walks into my life (or bookstore—there’s nothing more sexy than a guy who reads, am I right, ladies?), I am totally open to seeing where things go.
Here’s what I actually end up saying:
Um…uh..well…the thing is…
Smooth, Wendi. Real smooth.
I hate this question because one, I don’t really have a one-word answer. And two, since when has my singledom, or anyone else’s for that matter, defined who I am? Who anyone is?
I’m turning the big 2-7 in a few weeks and realize that I am at the age now where a lot most of my friends from grade school, high school and college are getting married or popping out little kiddos. And honestly, I couldn’t be happier for them. I actually cannot wait till I get to that point in my life when I find the man of my dreams, settle down, and start a family. The truth is, I’m just not there yet. My parents got married when they were 24; they had me when they were 25 and my mom was only two years older than I am now when she had my sister.
Oh boy. According to those calculations, I am WAY behind “schedule”.
I do want a family, and I do want kids.
Eventually (so you can quit asking about great-grandbabies and grandbabies mom and grandma).
But for right now, I think it’s okay to be a bit selfish.
To focus on me.
To discover my passions and talents and goals and dreams outside of anybody else.
After all, I want to make sure that when I do enter a relationship, I am the best possible version of myself that I can be.
So…am I seeing anyone?
And let me tell you, she is pretty frogging amazing!
Question of the day: Have you ever been asked this question?
What is your response?