The Five Second Rule simply states that any food dropped on the floor is perfectly fine to eat as long as you pick it up in less than five seconds.
This rule however has many a variation. These may include but aren’t limited to: The Three Second Rule, The Seven Second Rule, and let’s not forget the extremely handy and versatile However Long It Took Me To Pick This Cadbury Crème Egg Up Rule. Whatever version you use, there is just simply no denying why it’s great…
1. It makes you look less disgusting. Because now when you eat that wet grape that rolled into the corner by the heating vent and collected some dog hair and a few old, dry toast crumbs, you’re not disgusting. Goodness no! You’re just a law-abiding citizen. Big difference. HUGE!
2. It saves time and money. Wait, wait, wait! Don’t pull the peanut butter and jelly out again and make a whole new sandwich! No, we’ll just blow the dirt of off this one and maybe tear off the wet, soggy piece of crust that landed in that spilled apple juice puddle over there. It’s all gooood. Plus, we’re actually getting the added benefit of an extra fruit serving for free! It’s a time saver, a money saver, and a health saver!
3. It’s scientifically proven. Well, actually, it’s scientifically proven that if a floor is covered in salmonella or E. Coli, your food will be covered in salmonella or E. Coli, even if they only touch for a split second. But, and here’s the kicker, the same study showed no evidence of contamination on public flooring in general. Good save, science. Good save.
So people, I give you a friend and a savior in these rough times: The Five Second Rule. Learn it. Know it. Love it.
Live by it.
Question of the day: Do you follow the Golden Five Second Rule? Are there any foods/locations that are disqualified from the given 5-secondness?