My Awesomely Random Life (and Everything in Between)

I suck at parallel parking.


If you don’t believe me, just take a look at me out there: tire-scraping, curb-bumping, seven-point turning in the middle of a busy downtown street. Yes, that is why I always breathe a huge sigh of relief when someone stops by to lend me a hand.

Air traffic controller

1. The Airport Crew Chief. Strap a neon vest and giant earmuffs on this dude because he’s straight off the landing strip. If you’re lucky, he’ll stand in your side mirror and use that beautiful two-hands-getting-closer-together technique.

2. The Extremist. This guy’s got no middle ground. He’s an extreme screamer who’s favorite lines are “Back, back, back, back, back, ba…STOP!!!” and lots of “you’re on the curb!”

3. Mr. Measures. This teacher’s straight outta the portables and is all about the accuracy. He’ll be dusting chalk off his hands while inspecting your bumper, calling out, “You’ve still got a good four inches.” (That’s what she said.)

We all love these kind sidewalk souls. Without their help, we’d be craning our necks and twisting our spines, so it’s pretty fantabulous when they pop on by to help us pop on in.




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