Take a ride on the wild side.
Yes. While walking down that empty grocery store aisle, look left at the Cocoa Puffs, look right at the Pop Tarts, nod confidently, and then step on the cart and fly.
Apples bounce, salami slides, and there are some intense g-forces on your loaf of bread. But a few seconds later, a few feet away, how much are you smiling after that dangerous floor-tile thrill ride to the yogurt section?
Now, there are a few different ways these dangerous deeds can go down.
Are you ready?
Can you handle it?
Here we go:
1. Pedal to the metal. This is the classic one-foot ride to heaven. Two hands on the bar, one foot jammed underneath, and your back leg hanging out like a wobbly figure skater. Just make sure you’ve got a watermelon and a sack of potatoes in your cart to hold her steady.
2. Two Footer. This is similar to the Pedal to the Metal, but with more commitment. Without your skiddy-soled runners providing an emergency brake, anything could happen. Remember to know your limits and play safe out there.
4. The Station Wagon. Remember that backseat in old station wagons facing the opposite direction? This is the shopping cart version. Hold on tight to the front of the cart and hope the driver doesn’t steer you into the egg wall. That would be eggs-tremely messy.
5. The Submarine. Highly not-recommended. This deep-sea move consists of riding underneath where soda cans and diapers usually sit. it also consists of being at the mercy of the lunatic driver above you. Remember to be safe in that grocery store jungle. Nobody wants to go home with a forehead full of kidney bean can dents.
Yes, taking a quick spin on a shopping cart is a coffee aisle vacation.
It’s juice and jam jubilation.
It’s diaper dash temptation.
And it’s a supermarket celebration.