Spin the dial to the left and you’re drowning under a frozen glacier waterfall. Spin it to the right and you’re stinging under some sharp second-degree burns. OUCH!
Oh, you know that perfect temperature is out there, but there are just oh so very many problems.
First off, there’s the tale of the tank. See, we all know hot water is made, not born. Chances are good that a fat, clunky water heaters sits somewhere in the basement under piles of rust, cobwebs and Christmas tree ornaments, and each morning you’re crunching numbers to figure out what she’s got left to give. Bubbling to the top, you’re fine, but if you’re the last to go, it’s time to crank it (and, from personal experience, that is not a fun job).
Secondly, there’s the You Factor. Yes. You and all of your temperature fussiness. After all, if you live somewhere chilly (*cough Wisconsin cough*) where winter mornings are marked by running from your sheet cave across ice-cold linoleum floors to the bathroom, then your perfect temperature could be hotter than normal. On sweaty summer mornings, you might make do with a slightly cool rinse. If you just finished a basketball game, just got out of the pool, or are aching with a sore neck, you could have all kinds of varying shower plans.
The point is, there’s one or two dials max, without numbers or letters on them, that you’ve got to spin and turn around in your groggy, half-sleep state to find that one perfect scrub-a-dub-dub temp. Sometimes you apprehensively stick your hand or big toe in to test. Other times you just go for it, jumping in with your birthday suit ready for anything.
When you step into the shower and it’s at the exact right temperature, it’s absolute bliss. Bring on the shampoo afros, lathery bellies, nose blowing, and pruny fingers because you are about to get ready for ten hot (or cool or cold) minutes of…