A Completely and Utterly Untrue Scenario*
Location: Public poo stalls
Situation: I have to go. Like now. Like, gets outa my way, move it or lose it, hurry the hecks up, I’m almost debating sneaking into the men’s loo, there best not be anyone on the crapper cause I gotsta GO, have to go.
The stalls are full. All of them. Every other lady here is doing her duty. Why is it that the women’s room is always ALWAYS busy and the men’s is not? Why?!
*poo dance/think non poo thoughts/happy place happy place happy place*
I hear the handicapped stall toilet flush.
Oh sweet sweet sugar, Oprah and all that is good in the world! I can finally get some relief! Just please please please hurry your darn self UP.
I think I hear the sink in the handicapped stall running.
Oh my stars! That lady is WASHING HER HANDS IN THE HANDICAPPED STALL. Said lady who just used the pooper unlike me who is still waiting to use the pooper because said lady decided to washherhandsinthestallratherthantheothersinkslikeeverybodyelsedoes better be in a wheelchair or I’mmagonnakickhershins.
She comes out. Nope. No wheelchair.
Dear love of everything covered in frosting and dipped in chocolate, PLEASE DO NOT USE THE HANDICAPPED STALL SINK IF YOU ARE NOT HANDICAPPED AND SOMEONE IS MOANING IN AGONY FROM HOLDING IT IN LIKE NO OTHER WAITING TO USE THE FACILITIES.
</poo stall courtesy rant/>
*Just like Ripley’s: believe it… or not
Author’s Note: I expect this classy gem-of-a-post to be shared with all of your friends so they know the high-quality literature that you can find on this amazing blog 😉
Question of the day: What is the silliest thing you have done when you had to ‘go’ and ‘going’ wasn’t necessarily an option?