My Awesomely Random Life (and Everything in Between)

Hey y’all!


Aptly defined, it means a confidence or trust in a person or thing.

It is belief that is not based on proof.

It is a belief in God or some higher power.

It is also what fills my heart and soul, gives me courage, and guides me in my every days and every nights. I have talked about how important my faith to me is before, how that unyielding and never-wavering belief in the big man upstairs and his infinitive love has gotten me through some of the most difficult times in my life. I may not understand all of his motives, his decisions or plans. I may get frustrated and even upset with him. But it is that very faith that lets me know my life is in the best hands possible. That all of ours is.

I recently read an amazing book called When God Winks at You.

A surprising answer to prayer comes at just the right moment. Could God be showing you that He cares about the details of your life? The author of this wonderful page-turner, author Squire Rushnell says these silent little miracles are ‘godwinks’ – messages of assurance that no matter what is happening in your life or how uncertain things may seem at the moment, God is with you and will help you move toward certainty.

When God Winks at You is an amazing array of real-life stories that really help you (And you. And yes…even you.) begin to recognize the godwinks in your own life and attain an unshakable confidence that you are never alone…and never have been. I really believe that there are truly no coincidences, just God taking care of us, carrying us in times of difficulty and confirmation when we need answers. This book was just confirmation of that fact. Written as a compilation of real-life stories submitted from people just like you and me, it sheds light on moments in life, personal experiences or occurences that held a special meaning, a deep impact or a pivital turning point in these people’s lives.

I have been fortunate enough to have had many similiar experiences and moments in my life compared to those found in this inspiring book.

One of these key moments was getting fired from my first ‘big-girl’ post-college and what had seemed to me, my ‘ultimate dream job’. At the time, I was absolutely crushed and devestated. My world had come to a screeching stop, sending me into a whirwind. I felt like a failure. That I simply wasn’t good enough. Having been always on the top of my game, always liked by all, and never really even having had the words “FIRE”, TERMINATE”, and/or “LET GO” in my vocab before then, my self-worth and esteem seemed to go down the toilet. I didn’t know who I was anymore. What I was. In a lot of ways, I felt lost and confused. Like someone had totally reprogrammed my GPS and left me willy-nilly to fend for myself.

In the midst of this confusion, this heartache and loss, God winked at me. He took off that blindfold that was preventing me from seeing what was really in front of me, what even greater opportunities laid before me and gave me the kick in the bum I needed to go after what I really wanted. He knew that I wasn’t destined to stay at the company, in that position. That sneaky little wink of his made me realize how strong I really was, that I could get back up after a fall and come back even better than I was. He made me see that I cannot be defined by my work, by my need to be perfect all the time. He opened up a whole new world of posibilities for me.

A Godwink.

Another major moment that completely changed my life was this past christmas. I was in Gulf Shores, Bamalama with the whole crazy Hansen crew, celebrating the Holidays, beach style. It was a time when I should have been having the time of live life, having fun and enjoying spending time with my family whom I love so darn much. Sure I had a blast. I did have fun. But I was half-assing it. I was probably sicker than I had ever been, ED controlling the steering wheel and loving every minute of it. I was smiling on the outside, but on the inside, I was hurting. I hated how I felt, I hated how much I was not living, and most of all, I hated that I felt too weak, too powerless, too afraid to do anything about it. I had been praying to God every day, asking for the strength to kick ED out the door for good. But I had yet to receive an answer, not even a text. Christmas night, I got the call I had been waiting for. The wink of all winks. That night, I broke down to my mom and sister. I simply had had enough. I had reached my breaking point, my rock bottom. I had been living under ED’s demands and controls for nearly half of my life. I was sick, I was sad, and I was pissed. All of which make for the perfect ingredients to either a) turn into the Hulk or b) turn into the Hulk and go all-ape-shit on ED. Which I did 🙂

I can’t quite describe what happened, but I truly think that God came to me that night and said, “Okay girl, it is time. You are ready. I have been training you and giving you practice. Let’s do this thang!”

That moment signaled to me what would become my Mission 2012. My saving grace. My Chuck Norris, karate chop, high-kick, good ‘ol ass whoopin’ of one Miss ED. That wink saved my life.

Whether you believe in God or not. We’re all protected by a greater force. I think each one of us experience subtle “winks from god” all the time, but often deem them as coincidences or luck. You’re free to believe that, but I think my “luck” is something more. I find so much comfort in knowing that no matter how difficult of an obstacle that I’m faced with, I’ll always be okay. Because God is in control, and he loves me unconditional. How wonderful is that?!

Sorry for getting all sentimental on you today, but this afternoon I couldn’t help but think of how happy I’ve been over the past few months and how far I’ve come since this time last year. I’m so blessed!

Question of the day: Do you have any stories of “god winking at you”. If you think really hard I know you do 🙂



Comments on: "When God Winks at You" (2)

  1. Just one point. You used the example of when you are about to step out in front of a car but you stop. You say this is because God is warning you. But what about all the people who are hit by cars and killed? Did God know what was about to happen but decided not to warn them? Why would he let them die?

    • Great question. And I wish I had a definitive answer for you. I guess that is one of those things that we can never really explain. I have often wondered the very same thing myself. Why did God take take away my friend’s brother and father all within a year of each other? Why did my grandmother have to live most of her life in pain due to cancer and arthritis? Why did he allow me to have such pain and sickness, the sadness and slef-doubt that came along with my eating disorder? Why? That is the funny thing about faith. Sometimes you just have to believe, even when it doens’t make sense. Sometimes you have to believe that there is a greater plan, a reason. Perhaps he did not warn those people who decided to step out into the street because that action possibly saved another life. Perhaps that incident changed the driver of that cars life for the better. Perhaps he just needed another angel up in heaven. Faith. Sometimes you just have to believe.

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