My Awesomely Random Life (and Everything in Between)

Shtuff Wendi Says

In the words of Jerry Seinfeld (and the most amazing voice ever)…”Hhheeelllloooooo! La la la!”

How is everybody’s Thursday going? Well, I hope! I don’t know what the weather is like where you live but down here in Georgia, it is an absotively-posatutely GORGEOUS 79 degrees and sunny day. It is a tad on the wendy, I mean windy side, but other than that, an all-around perfect day. I took my Thunder baby for a long walk earlier this afternoon, and I say long not because of the distance we went, but more so because of how many times we had to stop. I swear, that dog has to literally pee every couple of feet, marking his territory on every bush, tree, mailbox and driveway that we come across. I guess when you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go. And go and go and go and go and go.

As we were making our way back up the Mt. Everest of a hill that is our cul-de-sac, we stumbled across this little guy trying to do the same.

Tuurrtle! Tuurrtle! Tuurrtle!

There is a very small lake just across the way from our neighborhood and I think that is where Leonardo (I decided to name him after my favorite turtle of the Teenage Mutant Ninja variety) was either heading to or coming back from. I felt bad for the fella and wanted to at least stick him back in the woods closer to the water…and was just about to do so when I saw that Leo was a snapper. Because I value my fingers, I decided I best leave him do his own thang and hope he makes it safely to his destination. Leo isn’t the first awkward turtle that I have seen around here; every summer there always seems to be a Michelangelo, Donatello or a Raphael that makes their way onto the sidewalks and streets of my neighborhood. And yes, I may just have had/have a slight obsession of the TMNT! But can you blame me?! They’re, like, SO COOL, DUDE! I mean, crime-fighting, butt-kicking, pizza-eating, sewer-dwelling, and talking turtles?! Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Turtle Power!

Speaking of talking turtles (yeah, I have no idea how to smoothly segway into this next topic so just roll with me), have you seen all of those absolutely hilarious and epic videos going around that depict people at the, well, most basicness of themselves? You know the ones I’m talking about, “shtuff girls say”, “shtuff monks say”, “shtuff begans say” and so on? If you haven’t, check out just a sampling of these funny clips here:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/05/shit-girls-say-parodies-video_n_1187158.html#s592195&title=Shit_Yogis_Say

I think a big reason why I find these parodies to be so pee-your-pants, fall-off-your-chair funny is because they are so bluntanly honest and true.

In almost every way.

Belly-laughing my way through these clips got me to thinking…if I could make a parody clip of myself, what would be some of the things included on my viral You Tube clip?

So, I present to you….

Shtuff Wendi Says

“Ooohh, I knooww!”*

“Yah, ferr sure.”*

( *Heavy on the Wisconsin accent, of course)

“Oh my stars…”

“Are you blind ump?! That was a terrible call!”

“You want your nugget? Here’s your nugget!”

“I! Put the screw! In the tuna!!!!”

“…Yes, nice to mole you… MEET you! Nice to meet your mole! Don’t say mole… I said mole. Mole…… Mole…… MOLEY, MOLEY, MOLEY, MOLEY, MOLEY!!! MOLE!! BLOODY MOLE!! We’re not supposed to talk about the bloody mole, but there’s a bloody mole WINKING ME IN THE FACE!! I’m gonna cut it off, chop it up, and make some guacaMOLE!!

 “Is this milk or cottage cheese?”

 “Let’s go Brewers, let’s go!”

“Baaadddd milk….but pretty good cottage cheese.”

“Heavens to Betsy…”

“Why do I have a spoon in my purse?”

“Thunder NO! Bad dog! You DO NOT eat my underwear!!”

“I’m not saying, I’m just saying…”

“The five second rule applies to ice cream, right?”

“If I had a Skittle for every time *** this happened…”

“Yuppers/Yup/YupYup”

Wow.

I never knew I was such a linguist 😉

I don’t care what you say, I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your Thursday night!

Question of the day:

What are some of the silly things you find yourself saying?

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Comments on: "Shtuff Wendi Says" (4)

  1. Hahahahahahaha. I posted about this lately, on what a ‘shit people say to Irish people post’. They are so funny. I really want to make it but I don’t know how to edit video!

    Check out my blog http://oracularspectacular.wordpress.com

  2. My dog eats my underwear too!
    How did your date go?

    • Hahaha…what are we going to do with those gosh darn underwear-eating pups?! Gotta love though 🙂

      My date? Ish pretty much sums it up.

      It was not so hot lol. It’s a big sea out there but for some reason, I have only been catching the bad fish. I guess I just have to keep on trying lol…

      How have you been hun?

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