I like to tell myself I’m a busy-bee. I write “watch The Office” on my calendar (because that is obligatory), get stressed about trying to find a part-time job, keeping the house (somewhat) clean and fuss over trying to manage time to go to the grocery store AND Target all in one day. Oofta! I’ve mentioned before that I have a problem with feeling like I have to always be productive; I feel lazy and almost guilty if I am not constantly doing something ‘good’ with my time. I have never really felt like I could take some time just for me, to step back from the hustle and bustle of things for just a minute and just be(e).
You see, my wicked ‘roommate’ ED always had something on my ‘to-do’ list. In some ways, I think I always felt more comfortable always doing-doing and going-going because when I was, I didn’t have time to think about ED. I could focus on other things and if just for the brief hour of apartment cleaning or two hours of studying, I could put her on mute and not think about how tight my jeans felt that day or if I ate too much Captain Crunch that morning. Recently, I’ve become sick of trying to think of things that I have to do. I have found that I don’t have to be always on the go, 24/7 and that it is perfectly okay to spend a little time doing nothing. I have also found that I don’t need to be doing these things in order to put ED on mute; I can just do it. She must have come down with a bad case of laryngitis because for the past few weeks, I haven’t heard her constant demands and controlling and manipulative attitude. I am learning how to block her out and go by what I want to do, what I need to do. And can I tell you, it has been amazing!
I’m currently in a bit of a limbo. I have yet to start graduate school (September can’t come fast enough) and I am still pulling hairs trying to find a part-time job which leaves me with a lot of open and free time. My planner hasn’t been this empty since, well, I can’t even remember. I used to have that 9-5 “Big Girl” job, waking up with the sun (and sometimes even before it) and working all day. I really loved what I did and I took comfort in having a set purpose to every day, but it seemed like I never had any free time. I didn’t get months off from my responsibilities. This time last year, I would have done anything for not only a Klondike bar, but also to have any time to be unproductive which is one of the reasons why I have decided to take full advantage of this situation and appreciate it while I can!
Today I saw an opportunity to do absolutely nothing…and pounced on it.
I took a drive to nowhere.
I stopped and smelled the roses, really appreciating my surroundings.
It’s amazing how much you miss when you are not looking, not taking it all in. My little town of Cartersville really does have a lot of character and before now, I am not quite sure if I ever really saw how unique and special it was. I was always too busy, too preoccupied.
I even took some time to put on my chef’s hat and kind of whip up an amazing lunch.
I sautéed some pineapple, carrots, peppers, broccoli, chicken, and a little EVOO and threw it over brown rice. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but it was awesome! I think I am really starting to get a hang of this cooking thang. I can’t tell you how fun it has been trying new things and allowing myself to for once enjoy cooking AND eating again. Take that, ED!
Overall, this day in the life of a reformed busy-bee has been great! I don’t think I can ‘bee’ this unproductive everyday, but I can assure you I am scheduling in an ‘off’ day on my calendar at least once a week, right beside ‘watch the Office’.
Hope you all are having a great Wednesday!
Question of the day:
Do you feel the need to always be busy?
What do you like to do with your free time?