Happy hump day everybody! Wowzas! Can you believe it’s already January 4th? Goodness where is the year going?
First off, I want to thank everyone from the tips of my toes for all of your kind words and support. My heart has never smiled so much as it has done in the past 24 hours or so. In all honesty, I felt a bit, actually, a lot, vulnerable and raw last night after I submitted my last post. I sat there, looking at my computer screen for quite some time. “What did I just do? Should I have done that? Did I do the right thing? Should I go back and delete it, take it all back?”
As much as I was afraid of what would come of being so honest, both with myself and all of you, I was relieved. I was very relieved, in fact. It was as if a huge boulder was lifted off of my shoulders. I could finally breathe again. In all actuality, taking back what I wrote wouldn’t change anything. I wouldn’t be able to take back my eating disorder. I wouldn’t be able to just hit ‘delete’ and act like it was never there (boy, if only I could just do that!). Not only was me writing this a way to possibly (and hopefully) help others going through the same thing, to let them know they are not alone and that it is possible to kick this thing in the bum, but it was also so incredibly helpful for me, something I needed and in some ways, wanted to do for so very long.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!
Switching gears just a bit, I wanted to talk to y’all (Oh no! I’ve been in the south too long y’all! Oy! I did it again! Quick…say something Wisconsiny…”You betcha”, “Oh I knoow”, “Yah fur sure”. Fewph! That was a close one!) about roommates for a second. I know this sounds completely out of left field but I promise you it will all make sense in a second.
Most of us have all had one or more in our life, whether that be in the lovely and spacious dorm rooms of our formative college years or in our first apartments, sharing a flat the size of a shoebox with three or four other people just to be able to make the rent. Some roommate experiences are fantastic; you become the best of friends, sharing everything from your deep dark secrets, to your left overs from the Olive Garden, to even your brand new pair of jeans. You get along great and have an absolute blast cohabitating with one another. I was lucky enough to really never have had a bad roommate; one of my closet friends to this day was my college roommate Ashley (hey girl!). I know I wouldn’t have made it through those four years without her for sure. However, there are always those roommate situations that end up being a total and udder disaster. You don’t get along, they are too loud and too smelly and end up eating all of your Oreos. The nerve!
Sharing a living space with people you like can be tough, even if you get along swimmingly, but can you imagine living in that same living space with people who you can’t stand?! It’s a grizzly bear! And sometimes, as much as you would like to kick them out or get a place of your own, you aren’t able to, whether that’s because of financial issues, location, or just because you are a bit lonely.
Thanks for hanging in there with me…here is where it comes full circle.
You see, I have been living with a ‘roommate’ for quite some time now. At first it seemed like a good idea to put out an ad for a flatmate; I was indeed looking for possibly new pal (you can never have too many friends, right?), someone to share things with and do things with. After years of living with this roommate however, I have come to find this ‘roommate’ is certainly no friend of mine, no friend of anyone. This ‘roommate’ is controlling to the nth degree. This ‘roommate’ steals and lies and is the baddest of all influences. This ‘roommate’ has taken everything from me and it is time that this ‘roommate’ gets kicked to the curb!
I decided to write an ‘Eviction Notice’ to this ‘roommate’, this thing that entered my life so long ago, reaking havoc and turning my life upside down and inside out. I want to live on my own. I want to take back what is mine. I want to be able to eat and do whatever I want, whenever I want without feeling like I have to answer to this ‘roommate’s’ demands (yes, that even means drinking milk straight from the carton and walking around in my skivies if I want, gosh darn it all to pieces!).
This ‘Eviction Notice’ is a final warning for my ‘roommate’ to get it’s walking papers and get to walking. It is no longer wanted here. It is no longer needed here. It is no longer welcomed here.
If you want, please read on and check out my final goodbye note. ED, you are officially EVICTED!