My Awesomely Random Life (and Everything in Between)

I’m a Toys R’ Us Kid

Remember when you were little and all you wanted to do was be a “grown up”. You couldn’t wait to retire the chicken fingers and grilled cheese and order off of the ‘big person’ menu at restaurants. You anxiously awaited the time when you could walk into an R-rated movie without your mom or dad by your side. Getting your driver’s license = freedom. Turning milestone ages like 18 (yay–you can now buy lottery tickets and order things from Skymall–whoohoo!) and the big 2-1 (Beer. Need I say more?) were all very distant dreams in the future that seemed to take forever and a day to come to fruition. And then there’s school; all you could think of while trying to keep from falling asleep in your college Biology class was “I can’t wait to be done and in the ‘real world’. I think we all have had these thoughts growing up at one point or another and sure, being an adult does have it perks. I love the sense of independence and living on my own, of working and achieving professional goals, of creating and building relationships, and of course being able to eat ice cream for dinner whenever I want (mom and dad if you are reading this, I promise I will throw in a banana split every once in a while, just to get that fruit in there).

However great being an adult it, I still sometimes wish I had the luxuries that I once had as a kid. Life was so easy and carefree. It wasn’t complicated or stress-ridden (if you don’t count trying to decide what to do for recess and how you were going to summon up the courage to ask Jimmy to the homecoming dance stressful). But with age and in life, you grow and you learn. You change and adapt.

Here are some of the things I have learned about my adulthood so far…

****** 20 ADULT TRUTHS ******

1.Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

2.Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3.I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4.There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5.How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6.Was learning cursive really necessary?

7.Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8.I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind-of tired.

9.Bad decisions make good stories.

10.You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

11.Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

12.I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

13.I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

14.I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

15.I disagree with Kay Jewelers; I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay. 16.I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

17.How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

18.I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

19.Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

20.Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

Yes, life may have been easier when I was a Toys R’ Us Kid, but I wouldn’t trade anything for what I have got now. I have had a fantastic and fun 24 years so far and am looking forward to what life throws my way in the next. After all, 24 is the new 12 (or so I have been told I look–I swear if that little old lady at the movie theater asks to see my id one more time to get into an R-rated movie…)

Hope you’re having a great humpday guys!


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