My Awesomely Random Life (and Everything in Between)

Dirty Desserts

Have you heard?!

Ben & Jerry recently exposed their shweddy balls to America.

And boy are they tasty 😉

Okay, maybe I should clarify that a bit. Ben & Jerry’s just came out with their newest, limited batch-flavor of ice cream based on the hilarious mock-NPR Saturday Night Live sketch featuring Alec Baldwin, Ana Gastyer and Molly Shannon (one of my all-time favorites!! Check out the clip below and you’ll see why).

The newest of Ben & Jerry creations is vanilla ice cream with a hint of rum which is loaded with fudge-covered rum and milk chocolate malt balls. Yum much? All I can say is that I can’t wait to get their Shweddy Balls in my mouth 🙂

Okay, obviously I have the maturity level of a ten-year (which was the age I was when the SNL skit first aired in 1998) because it still sends me into an unescapeable fit of giggles. I’m talking give-me-Situation-abs-crying-tears-of-funny-I’m-laughing-so-hard giggles. Anyone who knows me knows that I am quite the punny person, that is I speak fluent pun. Anytime when I can find a way to insert a pun or a double entendre into conversation, I will do so. That is what makes this sketch so hilarious; the barrel runneth over of uncanny and knee-slapping double entendres. Although the double entendred title of the scrumptious new frozen treat Shweddy balls was obviously done intentionally, it got me to think of some other tasty treats that have not-so intentionally anatomically pervy names from around the world.

6. Nestlé Nips


Let’s start close to home with a product you can find in the candy aisle of your local grocery, Nestlé Nips. First introduced in the 1920s, rich and creamy hard candy Nips are “for people who need a break from life’s little irritations…” I’ve heard Band-Aids work, too.

5. Couque D’asses

The next snicker-inducing treat is a crisp butter cookie filled with chocolate from Japan. I get that it’s supposed to be  French, but were there no English speakers in that marketing meeting, no one from corporate to chime in with “Umm…it says asses…on the box”?

4. Perky Nana


The third nibble, coming to us from New Zealand, is the Mighty Perky Nana. The Cadbury product is a chewy, banana-flavored candy bar covered in milk chocolate. You can have the regular, apparently smaller Perky Nana or the Mighty Perky Nana. But come on, size doesn’t really matter as long as it’s perky, right?

3. Crunky Nude Balls


Next I present to you Nude Korean Balls, Crunky Nude Balls, specifically. They are bite-size chocolate treats akin to Nestle Crunch with the rice crisps on the outside, thus making them “inside out” or “nude.”  I’m not quite sure what makes them crunk, though.

2. Megapussi


This tasty snack comes to us from Finland. It’s a bag of chips that proudly boasts “MEGAPUSSI!” meaning “big bag.” Betcha can’t eat just one? Goodness…talk about sinful treats. I feel like I should go to church just after reading the bag.

And just like Vanessa Williams once said, I’ve ‘saved the best for last.’

1. Spotted Dick






This is a very popular English dessert although you can find it right here in the good ‘ol US of AY in specialty food shops and by ordering it online. So what is this Spotted Dick you ask (also known as sponge pudding or spotted dog)? Well, it is a steamed suet type pudding which is sweet and often served with custard, very similar to pound cake. The spotted part of the name comes from the use of various types of small fruits like raisins, currants and sometimes plums. The Dick portion of the name however seems to be somewhat of a mystery with many different conflicting stories of how it came to rise. PUN intended. Sorry, I just couldn’t help myself.

Well there you have it. I guess you learn something new everyday.

Now, if you don’t mind, I am going to take my Shweddy balls, Spotted Dick, and maybe a few Perky Nanas and go to town!

Have a great night guys!

Question of the day: What is the weirdest named food that you have come across?





Comments on: "Dirty Desserts" (2)

  1. 5. Couque D’asses = Cooked asses. At least they’re not raw?
    2. “Betcha can’t eat just one?” Oh my god. Gross! (I, too, am 10 years old.)

    I can’t think of any weird-named foods. But my mom has a recipe for Chocolate Chocolate Chip Cake that she’s famous for– she calls it “C4 Cake”. I told her that C4 is a dangerous, volatile explosive, but she refuses to change the name.

    Also, she makes fruit compote sometimes (I still have no idea what that is) and I call it “fruit compost”. Close enough, right?

    • Haha so true girl! Sounds nasty up the yin-yang. Where in the world do they come up with these outrageously silly names?! And why do they think they’re winners? 😛

      Your mom’s C4 cake sounds delish! Definitely something you don’t want to go bragging about at an airport seeing as it could be highly explosive lol but delish none the less. My mom has some funny dishes as well. Take for example her infamous ‘shit on a shingle’ aka chipped beef on toast lol…love you mom!

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