Happy Monday, guys!
Boy do I have a doosie of a story to share with y’all today. But before I get into that, I just wanted to remind everyone that there is, drum roll please…
11 days left until I am here
sitting next to this guy
cheering on these guys
But I digress. Back to my cray cray story. Today after I got done tutoring one of my students, I decided to make a quick pit stop at Starbucks for a little drink (I am such a dork–when everyone else was ordering their grandefrappamocholatewhips, I stuck with my carton of chocolate milk and a sugar cookie–I am quite the fancy pants as you can see) and to do a little writing. I was just getting settled into the corner spot, my favorite spot by the big window on the comfy sofa seat. I had my laptop opened and was just about to start tapping away when a guy in a blue polo shirt and jeans came walking over to my table. He was very tall and had a very Ralph Lauren look to him. Not going to lie, he wasn’t too hard on the eyes if you know what I mean. There were all the open seats to my left and all the open seats to my right, but as he walked over to my little corner, he decided to sit on the comfy sofa seat a direct 180 degrees, a mere three butt cheeks length away, from yours truly.
At first I didn’t really pay any attention to it; at least he smelled good–trust me, it would be a whole other story if his cologne of choice smelled like a mix of stinky feet and stale Cheetos. All of a sudden Mr. Lauren turned to look at me and said, “So you chose this spot?”
Sitting there in my finest of holey gym shorts and faded tank top, hair a mess and sweating like a pig (do pigs even sweat? I never got that expression), the first thing I thought was ‘Is this guy talking to me?’ After lingering there in the silence for a bit, awaiting my answer, I figured that he was. The second thing I thought was ‘This is a classic example of Bill Engvall’s “Here’s Your Sign”. Did I choose this spot? Well, seeing as I am, right this very instant, at this spot, I guess I did. Here’s your sign.
Not wanting to be rude, I answered him. “Yup. I did. Just doing some writing.”
Mr. Lauren then said, “I kind of thought this was the place, seeing as you live a few minutes away. I hope I’m not too early. It was 2:30, right?”
What. Was. This. Guy. Talking. About?
Just when I was about figure it all out, a girl came up from behind me and tapped me on the shoulder. “Excuse me miss, but I think ‘Tod’ thinks you are me.” I looked at Ralph, ah, I mean Tod, and he was beet red. I mean this poor guy was redder than the time I got sunburnt to a crisp in Vegas…and that’s saying something. I felt so bad for him. Awkward turtle, you betcha!
Apparently, these two lovebirds met on Match.com and had planned to meet up for the first time today, at this very Starbucks. Now I don’t know much about online dating, but I would think that people share photos on these internet dating sites, right? If this assumption is correct, I don’t know what kind of pictures Ashley was displaying because I looked nothing like her. Not one inch of a bit. For one, she was slightly on the shorter side; she literally came up to my shoulder. She also had dark, dark hair, like Snow White black hair, and had a giant flower tattoo on her shoulder (which was pretty darn cool, by the way). How Tod thought that I was indeed Ashley still floors me, but it definitely makes for a great story. After Tod apologized profusely, both to me (formally known as Ashley) and to the real Ashley, they got up, went to the opposite side of the coffee shop and presumed, or started, their date.
As I finished off my chocolate milk (oh my gosh, I just realized that I totally probably had a milk mustache during this whole scene…ack.) and polished off the last few crumbs of my sugar cookie, I thought of, besides being NOT the one embarrassing themselves for once, how I possibly was responsible for a real love connection here, albeit a little weird, but maybe possibly could-be who-knows a real love connection. Ten years from now when little Suzie, Tod and Ashley’s daughter asks how mommy and daddy met, they can say that it all started with a little Starbucks, a little coffee and a little mistaken identity. Well slap a pair of wings on me and call me Cupid
Have a great rest of your Monday everyone!
Question of the day: What is one of the most embarrassing situations that you have been witness to, NOT involving you?