A Little Choked Up

There are a few things that get me a little choked up…

• Those darn hallmark commercials like this one:

and this one:

get me Every. Time.

• Listening to Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On. “Don’t let go, Jack. Don’t let go.” Oy vey.

• I can’t help but get a little faklempt every time this little guy snuggles up next to me at night.

• Watching this clip from my favorite movie, Field of Dreams. You know you secretly grab for the tissues too, don’t lie.

• Whenever I see someone selflessly doing something great for another.

• The smell and feel of a worn but very much-loved book.

• And chicken sandwiches? Apparently.

Well maybe not so much choked up as they do ‘choked on’.

Let me explain. Last night my mom and dad came up to Atlanta for the day to finish somethings in the city before heading off on their Caribbean cruise (I am SO jealous by the way!). They surprised me by stopping by and saying hi and taking me out to dinner, which if having to decide between frozen pizza bagel bites (which were on the docket for the evening) or a delicious (and free, mind you) dinner with the rents, I was SO going with the latter. Since my mom and dad had never experienced the yumminess that is one of my favorite places, Yeah! Burger, we decided to hit the restaurant up. Even before we got there, I knew what I was going to get. I had been there just the night before (yes, I am that obsessed) and had a very tasty buffalo burger but last night I was hankering for their amazeballs chicken sandwich with lettuce, extra pickle and extra tomato. And oh was it sooooooo good!

Maybe too good in fact. Everything was going great; we were all devouring our sandwiches, fries and a pitcher of PBR. I was enjoying the last bite of my food, when all of a sudden, I had a hard time breathing. For some reason, I decided it was a good idea to take a Galiath-sized bite of my sammy, and not chew it properly like a normal person. The giant food glob got stuck in my throat and I literally began to choke.

Have you ever had the feeling of not being able to breathe? It is one of the most terrifying things you can experience. When I was seven, I got the wind knocked out of me. My cousin Arron and I were goofing around on my old-school swing set; I was sitting on top of the set, doing those one-knee flippy-over maneuvers that were then all the rage on school playgrounds everywhere. Do you remember those? You would sit on a bar with one knee over and one knee behind the bar and fall forward, flipping over and wowing your friends in the process. I don’t want to brag but I was pretty much the queen of the one-knee flippy-over

Anyway, I thought it would be a grand idea to sit on top of my swing set and use that bar as my flippy-over device. Mean while, Aaron was trying to reach for the stars, going crazy on the teeter-totter below. The force of the swing combined with his velocity and speed (Basic Physics 101. Actually, I really don’t know what I’m talking about but I thought it sounded impressive) caused the swing set to flip over. The whole swing set. Including yours truly who was sitting on top. I landed straight on my back and for what seemed like forever (which in all actuality was only about ten seconds or so), I couldn’t breath. I literally had no breath. I tried sucking in air but nothing was going in or coming out. It was so scary! This same feeling happened again once during a soccer game. I was playing forward and got pummeled by a girl, who had superhuman strength, playing defense, knocking the wind right out of me.  In both of these situations, I was fortunate enough to regain my breath on my own within a couple of seconds, very scary seconds, but I did it nonetheless.

Last night was a different story.

As the giant glob of half-chewed chicken sandwich started to make its way down my throat, it made a pit-stop right smack dab in the middle of my esophagus. My eyes grew wide with panic as I tried to swallow. And swallow again. And again. But that darn sammy wasn’t going anywhere. I tried to breathe but just like when I had gotten the wind knocked out of me, no air could be found. My mom, who was sitting across from me at the time noticed something was up and asked if I was okay. When I answered with a silent head shake and finger-point to my throat, she knew that I wasn’t just playing a  game of Charades.

Then, just like Chuck Norris, my mom jumped to action. She came over to my side of the table, helped stand me up and proceeded to do the Heimlich maneuver on me. With one, two, three compressions and a good whack on the back, that giant glob of food came right back out. How embarrassing!!!! At least I didn’t send a mass of flying food towards the table across the way, landing in some poor woman’s soup bowl or glass of wine Mrs. Doubtfire style.

But air. Glorious air. Oh how much I had missed thee!

When I was little, I used to choke ALL. THE. TIME. If something could fit into my mouth (and sometimes even when it couldn’t), there was a good chance I would try to eat it. Ice cubes, Ritz Crackers, Ninja Turtle Chewy candy and even a rock, all things that got wedged in my throat. It’s safe to say my parents became experts at dislodging foreign objects from my mouth and/or esophagus. But not since I was, oh, three, did my mom or dad have to perform this life-saving maneuver on yours truly. In fact, when I thanked my mom for quite literally saving my life (after I had gotten my voice back), she said that she didn’t really know what she was doing, that she was just sort of “winging it”. I have got to say, BEST WING JOB EVER mom! I am sure glad that she was there. Oofta!

At least there are a couple of things to take out of this whole experience.

First, it is always a good idea to actually chew one’s food. ‘Chew before you turn blue’ is my new motto.

And maybe try taking smaller bites next time.

And secondly, knowing how to perform the Heimlich maneuver is such a great thing to learn and master. After all, you never know when you’ll come across a silly girl who decides to eat her entire sandwich in one big bite and are the only one who can possibly save her life. Sometimes ‘just winging it’ isn’t enough and could potentially do more harm than good. For more information on the Heimlich maneuver, check out this helpful website:

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/first-aid-choking/FA00025

And on that note, I am off to partake in a little Father of the Bride movie action. I’m getting a little choked up just thinking about how sweet George Banks is.

Have a great rest of your Monday guys!

Question of the day:

Have you or someone you know ever choked or had to give the Heimlich maneuver?

How many of you think you could save someone’s life if put into a similar situation?

Thoughts on a Thursday

 

Dirt makes for THE best dessert.

I give up. On nail polish, that is. A mere three minutes after applying and already chip-O-mania.

I totally caught a guy picking his nose today. I was stopped at a red light and looked over to find the owner of one white Toyota Prius mining for gold. He tried pulling the “I’m not picking, I’m scratching” bit on me but I knew. You bet your nostrils I knew.

Speaking of picking your shnoz…do any of you remember reading this classic? When I was little, this was the best form of birth, err, picking control that I could have ever had. A sabber-toothed snail who snacks on fingers? No way, Hosea!

There are only 17 days until the Brewers spring training season starts…but who’s counting?

I am celebrating by watching Field of Dreams…for the fourth time this week. I guess I kind of like it. And I may or may not have a slight crush on Kevin Kostner. And James Earl Jones–what can I say? That voice. Oh that voice.

I was contacted by a publisher who wants to actually really truly honest-to-goodly publish my book!!!! Cue Sally Field “They like me! They really like me!” I can’t tell you how amazing and exciting this all is. Butterflies in the stomach? More like freakin’ pterodactyls! But the uber awesome and friendly ones like in Land Before Time, not Jurassic Park. Details to come

Today I found three quarters with their heads up. Does that mean that I get 75X as much good luck?

Today is Friday-Eve.

Which means tomorrow is Friday.

T-G-

 

 

Notes on a Friday

1. I am officially in love with FebruANY. All month long at Subway, any sandwich can magically turn into a $5 foot long. I plan to fully take advantage of this. Bonus? I think the pre-pubescent sandwich maker who is a dead-ringer for Minkus from Boy Meets World has a crush on me. Not only did he throw in a free bag of chips and TWO heavenly white-chocolate macadamia nut cookies for me, but he asked me what I was doing later. I was flattered (and super excited I got free dessert!). My ‘later’ started off by pounding down this lovely diddy

Get in my belly!

2. Is it me or does your nose do a happy dance every time you step into that restaurant? They should definitely consider making a candle and/or room freshener of that amazeballs fresh-bread scent. Or how about this…Eau de Subway: The Cologne. I’m telling you. It’ll be huge!

3. What is with this weather lately? It’s February and my new bee-utiful friend and I spent the day lounging in the sun,  soaking up the rays and doing a little bit of reading. Mr. Punxsutawney Phil announced yesterday that there would be 6 more weeks of winter, but hey, if this is the winter that he was referring to, bring it on Phil. Bring. It. On.

4. I wrapped up watching the whole series of Friday Night Lights last night. If you have not seen this show, drop what you’re doing, right now, No, I mean it. Stop writing your history paper, step away from your boss’s To-Do list, pause your mean game of Angry Birds or Words With Friends for a moment, and start watching! DO IT! It is one of  THE best shows ever. Full Eyes. Full Hearts. Can’t Lose.

5. I spent two hours last night trying to reach Technical Support at AT&T to help fix my funky internet connection. If I hear robot lady ask me one more time, “Which of the following do you need help with?”  (“Internet connection! Not bill collection. Internet connection!”) or “Why don’t you just tell me what you need?” (INTERNET CONNECTION! NOT BILL COLLECTION. INTERNET CONNECTION!!) I am going to go crazy (which isn’t a far trip for me haha).

6. My mission on once and for all kicking ED to the curb has been going great and I really couldn’t be happier with the Goliath-size strides I’ve been taking.  My body is super excited that it’s finally getting what it needs and wants, getting stronger and stronger by the day, with every piece of pizza eaten and milkshake chugged.  I’ve even started to build some serious muscle (I better start carrying a Gun Toting licence for these babies). Unfortunately however, to feel 100% great, you have to go through a bit of uncomfortableness (the good thing is it doesn’t last long). Needless to say, the heating pad has become my tummy’s best friend (thank you Jenna for the life-saving suggestion) and if I was a car, I wouldn’t have to stop at a Shel Station anytime soon (if you know what I mean). Grandpa, dad, Aaron, Nick, Uncle Scott…basically every male in my family, you’d be so proud. As am I, actually. I wear this ‘Toot Badge’ with honor because it is a sign that I am moving in the right direction, a slightly stinky one for the time being, but the right one nonetheless. Glade room spray is always nearby although…that Eau de Subway would work great! Come on guys, I’m telling you. HUGE hit!

7. Today I sneezed six times in a row. That’s got to be some kind of record.

8. I sneezed six times in a row while driving without ramming my Bug into an innocent mailbox. That’s got to be some kind of miracle.

9. I have recently come to the realization…Major Deal breaker: Ya gots to be a Brewers fan. Or at the very least, be an award-winning actor in pretending to be one. And no eating your cheeseburger with a knife and fork. And wearing skinny jeans that even I couldn’t fit into paired with a purple and pink-stripped sweater. And thinking that Britney Spears is THE best musical artist of all-time. The others I could maybe stomach but that? I have to cross the line somewhere.

10. I am about to settle in with a bowl of popcorn and pop in one of the all-time greatest films ever, Field of Dreams. I don’t know what it is about that movie that always makes me reach for the Kleenex box. Can allergies be submitted through the TV? “Hey dad…you want to play catch” Ahh!!! That gets me Every. Time.

Have a great Friday night everybody!!!!