We’ve all been there.
Mustard-mayo swirls drip from the back of the hot dog, coffee cups splash on the drive to work, and spoonfuls of lumpy ice cream crumble and go for a ride.
Yes, we’re familiar with the classic day-long shirt stain, also known as the International Symbol of Clumsiness (ISC). Whether it’s a samosa spill on your sari, a wasabi smear on your kimono, or an olive oil splash on your freshly ironed toga, we all know what that spill screams: YOU ARE MESSY!!!
But it’s true, folks.
Kiss the job interview goodbye, end the first date early, and skip the big toast at your daughter’s wedding. It’s all over now because you had your chance and you blew it. Guacamole smears your tie and tomato squirts on your tux just trashed your night and trashed your mood.
Yes, we’ve all been there. And none of us like stained shirts. Except maybe my dog. I’ve lost many a sock to a BBQ sauce mishap (don’t ask).
That’s why it’s so great when you just barely escape the stain.
Now, these drip-dodging miracles can happen one of three ways:
1. The Pick Me Up. That lumpy clump of ice cream rolls off your belly and skids straight to the ground leaving only a couple of rogue chocolate chips sitting in your belly button dent. What a save. Just pick it up.
2. The Camouflage Mirage. When the juicy beef drippings leaking out of your taco land squarely on a juicy beef dripping colored stripe on your clothes. You were just given a lucky break, my friends. Now you can fully enjoy the day being clumsy in camo.
3. The Against-All Odds. Here is where you have absolutely no right to avoid the stain, but do so for mystical reasons that defy all logic. I’m talking some serious Harry Potter action here. Somebody steals a nacho and carelessly drops its load on your sleeve, but somehow, someway, it just skis off gracefully onto the tablecloth. A full beer gets spilled and drips all over you, but some quick whisking just blows it away and…no harm done. We can’t explain these ones, but they are true miracles.
A big spill without a stain cranks the happiness dial to 10.5. That’s because you played with fire and came out cool. You hung over the edge, but pulled yourself back. You nearly ended it all, but instead, you just ended up being…